Ghosts of My Past
by claire sorrentino
Summary: "The suit fit like skin. The tie, tightening around my throat, was a familiar restriction. I checked my reflection. Soft copper curls, large brown eyes, unsmiling lips. Same old Cissnei. How silly of me to think I could just walk away from the suit." After Cissnei sees Genesis, she decides it's time to return to the Turks even if it kills her.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: There's This Ghost**

There's no such thing as an ex-Turk. I should have known that I couldn't just walk away and never return. That's probably why I didn't burn the damn suit. That's probably why I had a red shuriken between the mattresses. That's probably why I still had Tseng's number programmed as speed dial one on my PHS. That's probably why my ears perked up when I heard a redhead quote LOVELESS at a bar on the Northern Continent. That's probably why I noted the glow to his blue eyes. That's probably why I'm in the position I'm in now.

What position is that? The position of having to go back to work after taking an unauthorized leave of absence for seven some years.

I buttoned my stiff white blouse, slipping a shoulder holster on and fastening it. I loaded my standard issue pistol, slotting a single Restore materia and then holstering the gun. The weight was familiar under my arm. Familiar and comforting. I put a spring-loaded holster on my right wrist and collected my shuriken from between the mattresses. I slotted a Transform materia, linking it with an Added Effect. The shuriken collapsed down and I loaded it into the holster on my wrist. With the right motion, the weapon would snap into my palm, expanding into its large and deadly form.

The suit fit like skin. The tie, tightening around my throat, was a familiar restriction. I checked my reflection. Soft copper curls, large brown eyes, unsmiling lips. Same old Cissnei. How silly of me to think I could just walk away from the suit.

I was tempted to simply call Tseng to report my findings, but . . . but if I called, I'd just fade away quickly, leaving him to deal with this mess. I would be the helpless creature who cried for weeks after Zack's death. I'd be that girl who missed Meteor blazing in the sky because I was lost in a bottle of whiskey. I'd be the girl talking to the ghosts of her past. It was better that I just walk into his office and report in person.

Consequences be damned.

I stole one last look around the room I'd existed in for the last seven years. I didn't feel any connection to it. In the corner there was a full size bed with a hard, lumpy mattress and a cheap blue blanket with stars adorning it. I had too many memories of lying in the bed, staring at the wall, whispering lullabies and crying like a baby.

I wouldn't miss it.

Outside, it was snowing for the first time this year. A few leaves clung stubbornly to the nearly naked trees. By the weekend, the entire area would be coated with the pure white snow that gave the village its name: Snowed Inn. We were south of Icicle Inn and not such a big name in snowboarding. There was a small port. With first snow, the jumpy southern traders would be in full flight. Every year some poor fool stayed long enough to get iced in. The rumors kept the rest moving.

At the dock, I bribed a dockhand to let me board a moored ship bound for Junon. I stayed below decks during the day, but at night . . . there was one part of the north I needed to say goodbye too: the night sky.

The deck was almost deserted. I headed to the stern, keeping to the shadows as much as possible. The sky was pitch-black, un-illuminated by the taint of city lights. The stars were lost to the darkness and large white snowflakes fell in a gentle breeze. I tilted my head to the heavens.

After a while, I heard someone approaching. The footfall was familiar. A sharp snap of boots on a wooden deck. The cadence of his footfall was like music to my ears. "Hey," I said, lips barely moving. My voice was muted by the snow, but he could have heard me even if I hadn't said anything at all. "It's been a while, Zack."

He leaned against the railing, staring at the black, icy waters. "Ahh . . . Cissnei. You don't have to go back, you know."

I didn't look at him directly. He'd vanish if I did that. Instead I leaned against the railing, watching him from the corner of my eyes. His black hair was spikier than usual, but his eyes were still that soul piercing blue. He wore his SOLDIER First uniform, but his sword was absent from his back.

He scratched the back of his head. "You were just getting . . . settled. You ever think of just staying?"

"I can't."

"Someone else can deal with Genesis."

"Like who?"

"Cloud."

"Your friend?" I asked. "The one who failed the SOLDIER entrance exams? I'd rather trust Reno to wear a clean shirt to work. I'm sure he's got a heart of gold, but honestly, this is something the Turks need to be aware of at the very least."

Zack exhaled nosily. "Cloud might not have been in SOLDIER, but he's good. He can fight just as good as Sephiroth with a sword. And he can give Genesis a run for his money in the materia department too."

"Whatever." I debated just walking away from Zack. It couldn't be healthy to talk to the ghosts of one's past, right? Whatever. I'd never be able to just walk away from him. Well, that wasn't true. I walked away in Gongaga, and a short while after that, Zack died.

Zack knocked his hands together. He was always moving, fidgeting. "The point is that . . . you weren't needed for Meteor or the Sephiroth clones or Deep Ground. You could just let this go too. Genesis will make a scene. Someone will recognize him. Someone will stop him. It'll happen. Trust me."

"You're probably right."

"I am right."

"But I don't care. I think that I have to go back. He's the last one, you know. The last of SOLDIER's great Firsts."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis . . . remember when they were the best that the Planet had to offer? Do you remember how hard you tried to impress Angeal? Do you remember how bad you wanted to be First? Do you remember, Zack?"

"Of course I do."

His voice isn't the same as it was when he was alive. He doesn't have that fire to it anymore. He reminds me of the Zack I met on the shores off the coast of the Nibel plains: worn to the bone, with nothing left to give. I'd give anything for the old Zack back. The one that laughed and smiled easily.

"Do you remember what it feels like to have a dream?"

"Of course - well, actually, maybe not. I don't dream anymore, Cissnei."

"That's too bad."

He turned around, leaning his back against the railing, arms crossed. "Why you, Cissnei? Haven't you given enough?"

I hadn't given anything. I'd stood to the side and let everything fall away like the damn snow that kept falling from the sky. I hadn't done a damn thing when Zack vanished in Nibelhiem. I was a damn Turk. I _knew _what Hojo was. We all did. And I _knew _Zack was in there. I justified myself not making a scene because once Hojo got his bony hands on a sample, the sample died pretty quick. I never imagined Zack was still alive. But even if I had known, I probably would have just stood by and watched.

Turks watch really good.

I tried to put it into words a ghost would understand. "Genesis was part of an era. When I first joined the Turks, the Wutai war was in mid-swing. Genesis was the first SOLDIER I worked with. He was amazing. I thought that he was everything SOLDIER should be. And then . . . then he deserted and attacked Midgar. I met a real SOLDIER."

"Really? Who?"

"You."

He was silent.

"I just . . . I've been fading Zack. I want to live again."

"You're gonna die," he said. "Tseng isn't the same guy you used to know. He slapped Aeris and then turned her over to be experimented on by Hojo. He'll kill you if you show up. Or worse. He'll interrogate you, then use you up."

"Use me up?"

"Shinra uses people, Cissnei. Shinra consumes people. Think about it. Angeal dedicated himself to SOLDIER. He was loyal to a fault. And when he got sick, Shinra discarded him. He did what he could to save himself, lost his way, lost faith, and . . . Shinra sentenced him to death. Take Sephiroth – hell, take me for example. What didn't I give them, eh?"

"I don't care. I want to be used up."

Zack shook his head. "Oh, Cissnei, don't say that. You can't mean it."

"I don't know what I mean. All I know is that I don't want to just watch anymore. I want to do something this time."

"Why?" Zack sounded bitter. "You don't have anything to protect Cissnei. No stuff, no people, nothing. Nada, zip, zilch. Just get on the next boat back and at least you'll have that chance. You don't have to be a hero. Heroes don't get anything but sorrow and regret."

I didn't answer.

"Heroes can't save everyone. And the ones they fail . . . haunt them." His lips quirked into a ghost of a smile. "Or they die to protect the ones they love."

"I have something to fight for."

"You're fighting to die," he said. "I was there, you know. I saw you put the barrel of your gun in your mouth. Saw how close you got to pulling the trigger. You're only going after Genesis because you know he won't hesitate to cut you down. Don't ask me to be part of that."

"I'm not asking you for anything," I said.

"Fine. I'll just go then."

I blinked and he was gone. The snow kept falling. I kept my eyes open wide, trying not to let any tears leak from the corners.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Junon**

If you've never been in Junon, you're not missing much. The streets of Upper Junon are wide, designed for military operations. The buildings all face the sea, with narrow slit windows. Heavy steel plates sometimes rise from street, covering the building faces and protecting from the recoil of the guns hidden below the street.

Sometime since my last visit, someone had updated the music blaring from military grade speakers. Before it was classless elevator music. Now it was upbeat fanfare that inspired images of people marching around. It was also grating and after about twenty minutes my head pounded. The people in the street gave me wide berth, no doubt paying homage to the suit.

I went to Sarge's, a bar along the main strip. Back when I was actively with the Turks we would always get a drink or two there after a mission. The bar was small and had no tables, just a row of stools in front of the counter. It reminded me of a sushi bar in Wutai. Anyway, inside were the stools, but no familiar suits. Instead there was some punk wearing a tattered red cloak and black leather.

I ordered a shot of whisky. I was still working on kicking my alcohol dependence. Unlike Reno I knew that I was dependent. But like Reno I didn't care. Tonight I'd limit myself to a single shot. Then I would head to Edge to meet Tseng with the details Genesis's resurgence. Not that I had a lot of details.

I was just starting to relax a bit when a monster walked into the bar. On reflex I drew my shuriken, slipping from my stool into a combat stance. Just as quick, the man in red was off his stool, drawing a three barreled Cerberus gun and leveling it at me. The monster was a feline-wolf creature with vivid red fur. There were feathers in its mane and its tail was on fire. There was a number branded on its hindquarters: XIII. His eyes burned with intelligence.

I wretched my gaze away, eyes flickering to the man in red. Was he confused? Nope. His crimson eyes were clear, dark bangs held away by a red bandana.

"Dear me," someone said from the direction of the monster. "Vincent. It is quite all right. I tend to startle on occasion."

"True." The man in the red holstered his weapon. His voice was surprising deep and velvety. Coming from his wiry frame, it surprised me. He kept his hand on his gun, ready to draw in an instant. The monster padded across the floor, his nails sharp against the wood. He sat down beside the man in red, his head lifted toward me.

Was it his pet? I was still debating when the monster spoke again. "I am Nanaki."

"She knows that," Vincent said. "She's a Turk."

Nanaki gazed at me. I suppressed my shock. The monster spoke. He had a low, melodious voice. He had a name. Then I had to wonder about Vincent. The man was more than I expected when I entered the bar. He was quicker on the draw than I expected. He saw more than I expected. And he connected the dots. Clearly this 'Nanaki' was a person of interest to the Turks. And, wearing the suit like I was, the obvious conclusion was that I should know who he was.

I collapsed my shuriken, slipping it back into its holster. "My apologies, Nanaki. You startled me."

"Well, she was startled," Vincent agreed. His mannerisms and tone of voice suggested that everything a Turk said should be doubted on the principle of the matter. He finally moved his hand from his gun. "So . . . Tseng's hiring new Turks. I'd heard that he was rebuilding, but I didn't expect someone so . . . " His voice trailed off and he shook his head. "So seasoned," he said finally.

Once upon a time, the end to his sentence would have been that he didn't expect a Turk to be "so young." My parents died in a fire when I was eight. Veld, the old director of the Turks, had picked me out of the ashes and left me with Shinra. He took me under his wing, training me in the ways of the Turks. By the time I was thirteen I was a full-fledged member, the youngest one ever.

Who would I be if he didn't take me and make me into a Turk?

"She does look rather seasoned," Nanaki said. "It is in her eyes. She's got that combat look. But she's rusty, maybe?"

Vincent shrugged. "Maybe, but with the Turks a killer instinct is natural. The rust always wears off."

Nanaki lifted his chin. One of his eyes was closed by an old scar. "So what is your name?"

"My name doesn't matter. You can call me Shuriken."

Vincent chuckled. "I forgot about that." He turned to Nanaki, leather creaking with the movement. "Back when Veld was director of the Turks you had to earn the right to use a name. When you started your codename was your weapon of choice."

"Did they call you 'Gun' then?"

"No. I was always Vincent Valentine."

"Ah. Aha." Nanaki's tail flickered. He turned back to me. "Shuriken of the Turks. Do you know Reno or Rude? I haven't seen either of them in a while."

"Y-yes," I said, mind slipping around the implications of the conversation. Vincent was a Turk? That explained his quick draw and suspicious attitude.

"Do you also know Tseng and Elena?"

"Tseng, but not Elena," I said.

"Elena must be happy to have you on board," Vincent said. "She's not the greenhorn anymore."

I had never met Elena, so I didn't comment. At the moment I felt like I was bleeding information, so I countered with my own question. "Vincent Valentine . . . when were you with the Turks?"

He leveled his eyes at me. "You don't know? You're not very well informed for a Turk." He turned away, red cloak fluttering with the sharpness of his movements. "Nanaki, please, join me for a drink." He resumed his seat. Nanaki jumped up onto a stool. The bartender brought him a drink.

I was, apparently, dismissed. I resumed my seat, drinking my alcohol and yes, sulking a little. Zack appeared in the seat beside me. "Wow, what's his problem?"

I didn't answer. Something told me that Vincent's hearing was sharp. And Nanaki was some sort of non-human sentient creature. His hearing was probably sharp too. As a Turk, I didn't need a reputation of talking to myself. In Snowed Inn it hadn't mattered if I talked to Zack. I was in such a messed up state when I arrived that the locals were used to me being strange.

"I saw him before, you know," Zack continued. "Who is he to give you lip when he sleeps in a coffin, right? I saw him in the coffin room at the Shinra manor in Nibelhiem when Cloud and I were escaping. He snored, you know."

I looked at him sharply. He vanished.

Vincent looked over at me. Nanaki stared at me. The bartender looked at me. Geez. Leave it to Zack to make me look weird even when I wasn't talking to his ghost. I finished my drink, left a few gil on the counter and left. Maybe coming back to civilization hadn't been such a hot idea.

Outside that stupid fanfare still blared through the speakers. I ducked down an alley, heading toward the elevator leading to lower Junon. I'd just about reached it when Zack reappeared. "Above you, Cissnei," he said at about the same moment that the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand.

I flung myself against the wall, shuriken appearing in my hand. I flung it toward the dark shape dropping like a rock from above. Red shuriken met a golden armlet. My weapon ricocheted back to me. Vincent Valentine scowled at me. There was a dent in his armlet.

"Something you forgot?" I asked, voice very, very soft. Veld taught me to keep my cool at all times. Tseng taught me not to flinch. Between the two of them I kept the acid from my voice and the startled fear from my eyes. Good lord my heart was beating too damn fast. When had I become this jumpy?

Vincent shook his head. "Not really. I just thought that Tseng should know that a week ago a militarized group was seen traveling through Cosmo Canyon. The leader of the group appeared to be a SOLDIER."

Genesis. So he had an army, did he? Or rather a "militarized group."

"Why tell me?" I asked. "Why not tell Tseng yourself?"

"I am not one of his Turks," he said simply.

"Do you fancy yourself an ex-Turk?" I asked, even though I already knew the futility of pretending to be an ex-Turk.

He shook his head, the movement barely perceptible. "That isn't how it works." Something dangerous flashed through his eyes. "You should get out before you fall much further. You don't have to be a Turk."

Who was he to give me advice? "Too late," I said. I folded my arms across my stomach, holding my shuriken lightly. "But I'll pass your message to Tseng. Not because you asked me too though. I'll tell him because it's my job to share certain information."

Vincent narrowed his eyes at me. I think he was getting ready to turn and walk away dramatically. I don't know if that really was his plan because I turned and walked first. I gave a jaunty little wave over my shoulder and didn't look back until I was on the outskirts of Junon. Vincent was nowhere in sight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Someplace to Belong**

So Edge. Not really my scene. I'd gone on a few missions in the city before leaving the Turks. The city never impressed me much. It used to be high class, a place for the rich and privileged of Midgar to vacation. Now it was more like Neo-Midgar with dirty streets, litter strewn alleys, and homeless bums wandering around with either the gonna-cut-your-throat look or the don't-have-nothing-so-don't-cut-my-throat look.

Shinra HQ wasn't as grand as it was in Midgar either. The building didn't stretch into the sky. The outside wasn't highly polished steel and glass. The security cameras were all first rate though, and a quick evaluation with Turk-trained eyes told me that Shinra wasn't the decrepit and failing company most people thought it was.

I strolled through the doors on the main floor, pace confident, head held high. There was a security station with a young man in a blue uniform on guard. I walked right past without stopping.

"Excuse me," he said. "Do you –"

I gave him a really, really cold look. Then kept going. I pressed the button for the elevator. He fidgeted beside me, mumbling about how I had to show my ID Badge and could I please step to the side for retina scanning and he was so sorry, but policy was policy and all. When the elevator arrived I stepped on and finally responded to him. "Do you know which floor I'm going to?"

"Level 19?" he asked, a frown descending on his brow.

"Do you know why I'm going to Level 19?"

"B-because you're a Turk," he stammered.

"Because I'm a Turk," I agreed. I pushed the button for the 19th floor and maintained eye contact until the door shut with a quiet thump. The elevator ride was smooth and uninterrupted. I stepped off the floor on Level 19. The glass door between the elevator and the main hallways had bright gold letters proclaiming this to be the Department of Administrative Research. It required a passkey to get in.

Zack appeared. "Go back, Cissnei," Zack pleaded. "Don't give your life to Tseng."

"You heard Valentine," I said. "Genesis has an _army_. Why should we have to wait for him to attack before we take steps to stop him?" I opened up a keypad hidden behind a light panel. The blue keys glowed at me, daring me to input the wrong code. Something you should know, more often than not, Turks don't carry ID. That includes passkeys. In our line of work, getting captured is often expected. Reporting in without adequate time to get our ID is also expected. We all have an emergency code associated with our records that will allow us entry at any time.

My old code was WINGS. I punched in Rude's instead: RUDE. The door whooshed open. Now I was on the clock. Tseng's PHS no doubt was just notified that 'Rude' had entered using his code.

Zack fidgeted beside me. "Not cool. I thought I'd have more time to stop you."

I stepped into the main hallway. I'd never been on this floor of this building, but so far everything was exactly the same as it was in the old Shinra building. I headed to the corner office facing the ocean. That would probably be Tseng's.

When I reached the door, I slowed. The floor was awfully quiet, which was too be expected. With the exception of Reno, most Turks were quiet. Every office door was locked with both a physical key and a keypad. Again, the keypad code was enough to gain entry, but it would trigger an automated PHS message to Tseng.

There were voices inside Tseng's office. I'm not proud, but I eavesdropped for a few minutes on a private conversation between Tseng and Elena. I knew it was Tseng because I could never forget his voice. I knew it was Elena because he called her Elena.

Elena's voice caught my attention – she was why I didn't just open the door and stroll in with my report like I had been planning all along. She said "I'm pregnant." Tseng swore. She said "The baby's yours." Tseng swore again. She said "I don't want it." Tseng swore some more. She said "I can't be pregnant and a Turk at the same time. I'd rather be a Turk."

"Elena," Tseng said, voice low. "You – no, we – have to deal with the consequences of our actions."

"I am dealing," she said. "I'm making plans for the future, sir."

"Not what I meant," he said. "What I meant is that if you're pregnant you have responsibilities to your – our – child."

"Tseng," she said. "I don't want to be a mother. That was never in my game plan. I have other goals for my life. And it's not like you want to be a father either. I won't believe you if you say that you want that."

"Why is that?" His voice sounded dangerous. I wondered if Elena knew he was angry at her. With Tseng it was hard to read emotions.

"Are you kidding? You've been a Turk long enough to have enemies both within and outside the Company. And as the President's number one advisor and bodyguard, any kid of yours would be born with a big ole target on his head." She paused. "Sir, don't shake your head, you know it's true."

"True?" Tseng asked, voice cold. Actually he sounded livid to me. I was going to die when I waltzed in there. Bad timing on my part, but I didn't care at the moment. Tseng had an elicit relationship with one of his Turks. What was the world coming to?

"So, you agree then?" Elena asked. Her voice sounded small, startled even.

"No," Tseng said. "You're relieved of your duties as a Turk starting now. I'm . . . I'm not comfortable with a Turk getting an abortion. The president is in a delicate public relations position right now. The last thing he needs is a Shinra that doesn't allow its employees to have babies. That's what it will sound like if you don't keep the baby."

"Excuse me?" Elena said. "Who will even know I'm pregnant? I told no one except you."

She had a point, but Tseng apparently didn't care. "You're keeping the baby. After it is born, you'll return to the Turks. If you don't want the child, I'll see to it that the child is placed somewhere appropriate." I heard his chair scuff back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to speak to Rude. He's no doubt lingering outside my office."

"Rude?" Elena said, sounding alarmed. "He'll tell Reno." She crashed into the hall. I don't know what I was expecting: maybe a Turk-version of Aeris. I mean she was the only girl I ever knew Tseng to be attracted to. Elena didn't fit that image though. She had electric blond hair in a bob cut. Bright blue eyes. Pale skin. She wore her suit to regulation perfection. "Who are you?"

"Cissnei," I said. "I'm here to see Tseng."

I heard Tseng hear me speak. I know that sounds strange. But as I spoke, he inhaled sharply. His hand hit his desk. "Enter, Cissnei," he said. "Elena, close the door. You know my orders. You would do best not to defy me on this."

Elena stepped aside, glowering at me. I stepped through the door into Tseng's office. Every fiber of me wanted to look down, so I kept my gaze up instead. Tseng was beside his desk. His hair hung like a black silk curtain down his back. He had a few new scars on his face; one just above his upper lip caught my attention. I forced myself to meet his fathomless black eyes. He did not look the slightest bit impressed or happy to see me.

"Sir," I said. "I have a report." I clasped my hands behind my back, hating that the palms were sweaty.

Tseng smoothed his hand across his tie. He sat back in his chair. "Really? Well, this should be good." There was a hard edge to his voice. His anger toward Elena was blending with his displeasure with me.

"Genesis Rhapsodes is alive."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "That's it?"

"I saw him on the Northern Continent. He was heading back from the Crater."

"And?"

"He's still suffering from degradation . . ."

"And?"

"On my way from Junon I ran into Vincent Valentine."

"Did you?"

"He had information that a SOLDIER marched through Cosmo Canyon with a military group."

Tseng folded his hands on the table. "Did you think that I was unaware of Genesis's resurfacing?"

Honestly, I suspected that he already knew. But it didn't really matter. I was sick of being gone. I was homesick for the violent existence of the Turks. I wanted to feel that connection with another person again. A living person that is.

Behind me Zack was muttering something about a "blaze of glory." I ignored him.

"Sit down, Cissnei."

I sat down. I stared at Tseng. He stared at me. A minute passed. Another minute passed. I could hear the hands on Tseng's desk clock ticking the time away. Zack kept up his quiet rant, apparently opting to be less distracting in light of the fact that I was speaking with Tseng.

Finally Tseng spoke. "How are you?"

"Excuse me?"

"How are you, Cissnei?"

"F-fine, I guess."

"I honestly didn't think you were ever coming back."

"I didn't think I was coming back either."

He frowned. "I thought that you went after Hojo."

"What would be the point in that? I'm just as responsible for what happened to Zack as he was. Maybe more so if you think about it. All I did was watch. That's my –"

"Don't say sin," Tseng said. "I'd rather not hear you echo that particular line."

I frowned at him. What did he mean by that?

Tseng pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked frustrated. He pulled his PHS from his pocket. "Do you still have my number?"

"Yours, Reno's, and Rude's."

"Add Elena's," he said. He rattled the numbers out. "You'll need a new uniform. We go with blue these days. After Veld's desertion, President Shinra wanted us to adopt a new look. He said blue was more people-friendly."

I added the number. I'll confess that my heart was beating a million miles a minute. He was angry, yes, but nowhere near as bad as I'd anticipated. "Where do I get the new uniform from?" If I could just get myself jammed into the door before he realized that I had deserted (which was punishable by death) I would be okay.

"The HR department, 3rd floor," he said. "Tell me what you've been doing with yourself if you didn't go after Hojo."

"Nothing," I said. "I found Zack's body. He was riddled with bullet holes, lying in a pool of blood. His eyes were open, but . . ." My throat constricted a bit, tears threatening. Even after all these years I still couldn't breathe right when thinking about what happened. I'd never talked about it with anyone except Zack. Somehow I'd expected that time would dull the pain more.

"I saw the bloodstained ground. I didn't find his grave," Tseng said, skillfully asking for more detail.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want anyone to find it," I said. "Veld taught me how to hide a body."

Tseng nodded. "I was there when you received that training. What happened after you buried him?"

"I walked away."

"How?"

I shrugged. "One foot in front of the other. I collapsed outside the Chocobo ranch. Woke up. Stole a chocobo. Crossed the marshes. Somehow got through the Mythril Mine. Eventually I ended up on the Northern Continent with a bottle of whisky."

"Ah, the bottle," Tseng said. He smiled sadly at me. "I shouldn't be surprised. Reno got you addicted pretty young. He took you after your first mission with him, didn't he?"

I nodded.

"What was that mission anyway?"

I bit the inside of my lip, trying to dredge that memory up. "Well, it wasn't my first mission. It was my first field mission. Veld had me writing letters from dead SOLDIERS to their distant families for quite some time. Shiva! I hated doing that."

"Yes, well, if I remember correctly you were pretty gifted at writing those letters. Better than Reno or Rude at any rate."

I didn't want to talk about the letters. That was one of the things that I hated about the Turks. All those damn letters, back and forth with the families. And I'd written them for Zack's family for four damn years before . . . yeah, before he died. I didn't want to dwell on that.

"My first field mission was rousting some wannabe gangsters from Sector 2. Nothing of consequence, I guess."

Tseng looked thoughtful. "You could still leave, you know. Walk away again."

"What?"

His smile faded. "Well, actually you can't. With Elena out of the picture, I need you. You'll have to stay." He stood up, walking to the window and looking out over the city. "Reno and Rude will be upset. They thought you died."

"I didn't – I couldn't think."

"I would have left too," he said. "I thought about it. I thought about killing Hojo too. To avenge Zack. To avenge you. I thought he murdered you."

I stayed in the chair because he'd told me to sit and I didn't want to disobey. But I wanted to stand beside him. I didn't. But I wanted to.

"I would keep seeing you at our old haunts in Midgar. I'd chase rumors in the evenings. There was a dancer at the Honeybee inn that looked like you. There was a girl with AVALANCE who fought with a shuriken – and rumors of an ex-Turk with them too. I thought of you. When Deepground emerged, I watched the women's legs, hoping I'd see yours. After I got access to their records, I scoured them for your name. I looked at every picture."

He turned. His eyes weren't fathomless anymore. They were hurt. "I hoped that you were alive. That Hojo just experimented on you."

"Sorry –"

"Nothing to be sorry for. In this business if you leave a forwarding address you're not really out. But I know for a fact that Reno and Rude both looked too. Reno used to love you."

I looked down, studying my fingers. Reno hadn't made a secret that he thought I should forget SOLDIER and date him. I don't know if he loved me – I can't say for certain that I understand what love is.

"So here's the story. You were with Deepground. You've had amnesia. After Deepground disbanded you went north, seeking the solace of the snow. Instead you saw Genesis. He sparked your memory and you came back. End of story." He lifted his PHS. "Your number?"

I told him. He sent me an analysis folder on Deepground. "Read it tonight. I'll have HR assign you a room. They should have a new uniform for you by morning. Oh and before I forget, what you heard from my meeting with Elena – forget it."

"Already forgotten."

"Of course it is. You're Cissnei of the Turks." He smiled again. The muscles in his face didn't look like they were used to smiling. "Welcome home."

Tseng . . ."

He stepped around the desk, motioning for me to stand. And he did the most surprising thing ever. He hugged me. I was stiff and awkward in his arms. His embrace was stiff and awkward. Turks didn't hug each other after all. But after a second we both relaxed. And I got what I'd been missing for the last seven years. A co-worker and a friend. And that ever critical human need: someplace to belong.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing :) Next chapter is Cissnei's first encounter with Cloud and Tifa!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Seventh Heaven **

HR got me a new uniform and gave me a key to an apartment in Edge. I stripped from my old uniform. The new one was just as stiff, but the blue made me look softer around the edges. I printed the files on Deepground and went to my new apartment.

The apartment building was in a secure building on the east side of town. My apartment was on the third floor. I stood by the window at an angle, watching people. Directly across the street was a bar called Seventh Heaven. Even this early in the afternoon a steady stream of seedy and normal looking people came in and out.

I pulled up a chair, making sure to keep myself to the shadows. I opened the file on Deepground and started reading. I committed the nitty-gritty details of the organization to memory, so that if Reno or Rude pressed the issue, my cover story would hold. Occasionally I would look up, spotting some colorful fellow in the dirty street. Zack was conspicuously absent. I missed him.

Around midnight the lure of the bar was too much. Stupid HR putting me so close to temptation. I tightened my tie and slipped across the street. Inside was a flurry of activity. I found myself a seat at the end of the bar and ordered bourbon from a busty bartender.

I think I must've gotten lost in thought – something that I could do as often as I wanted in Snowed Inn, but something I needed to avoid at all costs now that I was active again. But anyway, the bartender replaced my drink with a new one, and then leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter. "So is this a Turk thing?"

A quick glance around the room revealed it to be mostly empty. The clock said almost two hours had passed since my arrival.

The bartender was giving passive danger vibes. Her hands, like Rude's, showed the subtle signs of a serious martial artist. She had crimson eyes ringed by dark lashes. Flawless skin. Tall. Did I mention busty? Her brown hair was so dark it was almost black. She had classic beauty, which bothered the girl in me. She was sharp and strong, which alarmed the Turk in me.

I'd taken too long to answer. She turned away, shrugging. "Well, lack of conversational skills appears to be uniform with the Turks at any rate. Better than Reno's endless chatter, I suppose."

I cleared my throat. No Turk wanted an angry bartender. "The bourbon or the suit?" I asked. "Which were you asking about?"

She glanced over her shoulder. "I guess the bourbon. I only know one guy who worked for the Turks but doesn't wear the suit."

"Let me guess. Vincent Valentine."

"That'd be him. He's not a Turk anymore though," she said.

"Is that right?"

"Mostly." Her expression softened. "He sometimes says he's not a Turk anymore. Sometimes he says it's in his blood. I think Vincent's mostly just . . ." She shrugged, not finishing the sentence.

I sipped my bourbon. Later I would pull Valentine's record at the office and put that little mystery to rest once and for all. It had to be better than prying information from bartenders. Although, if she knew Valentine did that mean he drank here?

"So you're one of Tseng's new Turks, right?"

I grunted. "You could say that."

"Usually your kind don't come here."

What was that supposed to mean? I didn't think there was such a thing as a bar that a Turk didn't visit.

"Not that you can't come," the bartender quickly said. She didn't sound afraid; she sounded more like she didn't want to insult me as a person. "I've only ever seen Tseng in a bar once. And Reno and Rude – well, I think they just don't like how many times they lost to us."

I raised an eyebrow. Reno and Rude lost a fight to this girl? So she was dangerous just like I thought. "Boys tend to take it personally when you kick their asses."

She nodded, smiling a little, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Zack picked that moment to pop up on the stool beside me. "Hey, Cissnei, I've been thinking. And I still think that this is a bad idea." He punched his palm for emphasis. "I mean remember when we first met? You couldn't even take out a Genesis Copy!"

I spun slowly in my chair, staring directly at him. He was standing in line with the door. His electric blue eyes glared at me, equal parts imploring and exasperated. There was an edge of panic to him. He wanted me safe.

As my eyes met his, he faded, edges blurring until nothing was left. And I was left staring into a pair of baby blue eyes that glowed with a mako glare. The newcomer was shorter than Zack by about a half a foot. He wore a purple zip-up sweater and black pants that mimicked a SOLDIER 2nd uniform. The skin around his eyes was ghost pale, framed by spikey blond hair. The rest of his skin was covered in a fine layer of dirt.

"Hey, Cloud," the bartender said.

I turned back to my bourbon. Cloud? Zack's friend? I lifted my glass, stealing a look at him in the reflection. The liquor and glass distorted the finer details, but there was certainly a resemblance. This 'Cloud' was the same Cloud that Zack introduced me to at the Goblin Bar. The same 'Cloud' that had never returned from that disastrous Nibelhiem mission. The Cloud with the soft, soft lips . . .

"Hey, Tifa," he said. He moved past her to an employees' only door. He headed up the steps, boots falling heavily against the wood. The door closed behind him.

"Nice to see you too," the bartender – Tifa – murmured. "How was your trip? Did Yuffie steal your materia? By the way, are you hungry, cuz I could make you something."

I eyed Tifa. She caught me looking and blushed. "Yeah, that's Cloud Strife for you. I suppose you're here to see him?"

I held up my bourbon. "I'm here for this."

She sighed. "Yeah, well, finish up quick. This is last call."

"I've always hated last call. Guess that makes me a true alcoholic," I quipped. I finished my drink and left some gil on the counter. "Unless you have some objection, I intend to drink here when my schedule allows."

Tifa scooped the money from the counter. "Hey, so long as you don't start breaking stuff, I don't care."

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . **

Zack was in my room when I got back. Lying on my bed. "So, just give me the glare of dissipation, will ya?"

I averted my gaze quickly. "Why is it that you disappear when I look at you anyway?"

"Hmm, I've thought about that. I decided it's because you have the 'glare of death' and poor innocent souls like mine can't withstand its evilness."

My throat tightened. Zack was 100% joking, but his words hit really close to home. I pulled the chain across the door, trying to hide my eyes from him. I'd stopped guarding myself when he died. It was harder than I thought to put those old shields back into place.

Zack came up behind me, wrapping translucent arms around my waist. I didn't feel them. If I moved back or he moved forward, we would pass through each other without so much as a tingling of flesh. "Sorry, Cissnei. I didn't mean that."

"I'm fine."

He didn't answer.

I wanted to move away from him, but his hands were touching, locking me in a loop. If he were real, I would break his hold easily. Because he was a ghost – or maybe just a sick and twisted delusion my mind spit out – I couldn't escape. Walking through him would make him less real.

Fortunately, I didn't have to decide what to do. There was a loud, staccato rap on the door. The handle jiggled. "Cissnei! Open up, I'm coming in, yo!" The door frame shuddered as Reno's shoulder hit the other side. The handle jerked at the same time, the force of his hold breaking the lock like it was no more substantial than the metal top of beer bottle. "Chit," Reno swore when the deadbolt held.

I reached out and flipped it to unlocked, slipping the chain from its slot at the same time.

"I got it," Rude said, voice deep.

I yanked open the door before Rude crashed through it. He adjusted his sunglasses and strolled through the open doorway. Reno rolled his shoulders back, spitting a stub of a cigarette onto the floor. He stepped on it, twisting his foot to put it out. "Long time no see," he said, grinning sharkishly.

**Author's Note:** Okay, the reviews inspired me to post earlier than I was planning. Just to answer a few questions. This will incorporate the secret ending to Dirge of Cerberus. I think that at the end of Dirge, Vincent and Chaos had a truce, with Vincent more in control. But in relation to this story, the characters in Dirge aren't really that critical. This is more about Crisis Core and Advent Children's casts. As for length, I'm not sure yet, but I'm aiming for long, not epic-length. There will be more than 20 chapters for sure though. Thanks again for all the feedback, and enjoy :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Edited to remove stupid typos and add some context as to how much time is passing.

**Chapter Five: Lies and Liquor **

Reno. Some things never change. His white dress shirt was buttoned haphazardly – and not all the buttons lined up. It was partially tucked into his pants and when he sauntered through my doorway, the shirt shifted, revealing a muscular stomach and hints of a black and red tattoo disappearing into his pants. His tie was loose, his jacket unbuttoned.

Rude didn't change either. He was Reno's polar opposite, tall and muscular in opposition to Reno's medium height and wiry build. His suit was as immaculate as Tseng's. He hid his eyes behind dark shades. He rarely talked. Of course, he must have really missed me, because he reached forward as if he was going to hug me, then pulled back, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "Cissnei. Tseng says you're back."

"I am."

"Been gone a while," Reno said. "The boss says you got amnesia, that right?" He strolled further into the room, eyes sweeping every surface.

"That's right."

Rude smiled, the motion out of place on his darkly handsome face. "It'll be nice to have the old team together again. Elena's good, but she doesn't really drink." He leaned against the doorframe. "Remember Circe?"

I tilted my head to the side. Circe had been a screwed mission from the beginning. What should have been a simple protection detail on a high-end manager ended up a tromp through the jungle, fighting basilisks and warthogs. Oh, and I'd been tied to an altar on an old stone temple and offered as a virgin sacrifice. Reno 'saved' me by kissing me on the mouth. Rude convinced the heathens that captured us that I was no longer a virgin. The manager got a video image of the entire fiasco on his PHS, but we'd confiscated it before Veld ever saw it. Reno intimidated the manager into never revealing out escapade, and we all drank ourselves silly at a tiki-tiki bar.

Reno was prowling. "Yo, Cissnei . . . nice view," he said, pushing the curtains open with his EMR rod. "Seventh Heaven. My guess is Rude'll be using your window for peeking, you know."

"P-peeking?"

"He's got this thing for the bar's owner, Tifa. Likes her."

"Really?" The world really was a different place. "Well, she is pretty," I said. Reno was still lurking about. Rude blushed and tightened his already tight tie, lurching from his casual position into a ramrod straight posture.

"You met her?" Reno asked.

"I did –"

I was starting to relax a bit, but then Zack appeared beside Reno. "Cissnei, if he sees the file on Deepground what is he going to do? My guess – just as a poorly paid SOLDIER here – my guess is that he starts wondering why you have to brush up on Deepground seeing as how you were there for the last seven years."

Dammit. He was right. "But the bar already closed," I quickly added. I stole a glance at my watch, stilling a tremble in my fingers. It was four in the morning. My pulse started pounding franticly again. "Is there any place else in town to get a damn drink?"

Reno's eyes gleamed. He rubbed his thumb across one red tattoo on his cheek. "Now you're speaking my language, yo." He sauntered toward me, hips rolling, shoulders back, hands buried in his pockets. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you wanted to get out of here."

I turned, giving him my back. "You got that right," I said. I strolled to the door, eyeing the broken lock. "You owe me a new door."

Reno caught my shoulders, spinning me around and tilting my chin up. "Silly Cissnei I – I wish – I –" He chuckled. "What the hell, details be damned. It's good to have you back, yo." He hugged me then, tight and quick. Then he was out the door, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. "I'll get you a new door and the first round."

Rude yanked the door shut once we were in the hall. I didn't have anything critical – well, besides the Deepground file and since Deepground was disbanded that only affected my cover story, so we left with the door unlocked.

We made quite the trio. Rude and Reno commanded respect and fear from the few denizens lurking about after most bars closed. I was shorter than both of them, and in spite of my best efforts, I looked soft and sweet. We didn't actually find a bar that was open, so we hit a liquor store and carried our booze to a small industrial park. There we took turns drinking from the bottle while sitting on stubby, dry grass, surrounded by squat prefabricated buildings. We didn't reminisce so much as worked out seven years of absence. Rude talked about a new martial arts magazine – _Combat King_ – that he had started reading and offered to show me some new moves. Reno told me about his recent escapades at the New Honeybee Inn where the girls were pretty than ever and wore less than ever. Then it was my turn to update them.

Rude broached the topic, but when he did, Reno's eyes got that dangerous glitter. He may have looked like the epitome of careless violence, but I knew better. Reno took betrayal very, very seriously. There's a story there, but it isn't mine to tell.

I sipped from the dwindling bottle of rum, stalling for time. Tseng's orders said that I was with Deepground. I couldn't contradict that. But rather suddenly, I didn't want to lie to the two people who were closest to being my friends. That might have been a problem for someone who wasn't a Turk, but even returning from hiatus, I could manage a little misdirection.

I handed the bottle to Rude, meeting Reno's cold glittering eyes. "Genesis isn't as dead as we thought he was. That's why I'm here."

"That's what Tseng said," Reno said. "What do you say?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, realized what I was doing, and stopped. "Before he deserted Genesis had an extreme rivalry with Sephiroth – but Sephiroth never acknowledged it. To Sephiroth, Genesis was always fighting for second place. It infuriated Genesis. You could see it especially well at formal events."

"I never went to formal events," Reno muttered, taking a too long drink. I yanked the bottle from his fingers, handing it to Rude while Reno sputtered, then said, "Something about lack of table manners and . . . well, any other kind of manners for that matter."

"Yeah, well, Veld used to put me on babysitting detail at those stupid functions," I said.

"Babysitting?" Rude asked. "Who'd you babysit?"

"Not so little Rufus," I said. "What a pain. That kid would pull the legs off a politician just to watch him squirm."

"Haha," Reno said, but the laugh sounded forced. "You do realize he's the President now, right?"

I didn't know that. That was probably one of the details that got lost in the bottle. I decided to ignore it. I didn't have that many fond memories of Rufus Shinra.

Instead, I directed the conversation back to Genesis. "So there was this one sided rivalry. Genesis got his first major degradation injury in a duel with Sephiroth. When he deserted, Sephiroth went and cleaned up the mess he left in Wutai. Sephiroth was painted the hero. Genesis was declared KIA."

"So he's resentful." Rude swished the alcohol around. "What's that got to do with anything?"

Zack bounced up and down, hand in the air. I nodded at him slightly, giving him silent permission to chime into the conversation. "Genesis said that if he's got to go, he's gonna take the world with him."

I brushed my hair away from my face. "He's . . . ask a stranger on the street who Genesis is. Maybe one in a hundred will know. Ask someone who Sephiroth is and maybe one in a hundred doesn't know. The Genesis I remember will want to do something flashy."

Zack crossed his arms. "I'm not so sure. The last time I saw Genesis he was pretty subdued."

"He has an army," I said flatly.

Zack scowled. "Coffin guy said that he had a militarized group, Cissnei. That's not the same thing as an army."

"Okay, so he'll be trouble. But Rude and I can _do_ flashy." Reno gulped down the remainder of the liquor, then checked his PHS. "That'd be Tseng bitching us to get into the office early so we can be reunited with you." He rolled his eyes. "I guess the night flies when you're getting wasted with friends."

I smiled genuinely. Reno was infectious. My PHS had bleeped at the same instant. My message was no doubt identical to Reno's. It was from Tseng. We had a meeting in twenty minutes. The boss was ready to start the day at 7 a.m. His poor little hapless workers were just about ready for bed. It was gonna be a ten-pot-of-coffee kinda day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:** **Research **

Tseng only shook his head in barely perceptible disapproval when we showed up together, alcohol on our breath, and dark circles under our eyes. He graciously – and thankfully – allowed us each to get a mug of coffee and a bagel. Then he gave us our new assignment: paperwork.

Okay. So it wasn't paperwork per se. It was a variety of reports and data that he had on Genesis and Genesis sightings. We were to spend the morning pouring over the old records. In the afternoon we would have a brainstorming session. By evening he would let us go and rest.

Tseng escorted me personally to my new office. It had a window view this time – I guess I was moving up in the Company. The desk was cherry oak. The black leather chair looked ergonomically adjustable. My computer was also black, the screen refusing to even throw my reflection back to me. The desk was covered by three large boxes, sealed and stamped confidential.

Tseng almost said something to me before he left. But he was always peculiar with his words. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time could lead to bad things. So he left without a word, and I started in the on paperwork.

My brain was buzzing by noon. I'd gotten the task of reading the reports on Genesis's childhood. He really had been an exceptional child. His father was the mayor of Banora. His mother was the daughter of a coal tycoon from the Corel area. He'd been introduced to the classic arts from a young age. By the time he was seven, he was an accomplished actor. By the time he joined SOLDIER he had won literary contests, baking contests, and had single-handedly driven off a gang of bandits using summon materia.

In SOLDIER he'd quickly established himself as a force to be reckoned with. He was one of the few in SOLDIER who gained a fanclub when he was only Third Class. Not even Sephiroth had done that.

I rubbed my eyes, biting back a yawn. Really _fascinating _stuff. I lifted a worn leather volume of LOVELESS from the records box. The pages were stained with dried blood, words blurred. The pages themselves were worn, but not abused. The inscription in the front said _To Genesis Rhapsodes – my dear, dear friend. May you always remember your honor. Angeal_

The date matched his acceptance to SOLDIER. That meant he was thirteen. Ten years later he'd lead a mass desertion – ten years later he was dying of an incurable genetic disease caused by Dr. Hollander injecting Jenova cells into him while he was in the womb. _Ifrit_, I hated scientists.

I tucked the poetry book into an inside jacket pocket and retreated for more coffee. Then it was back into the records. Zack was pacing when I entered the room. "What's that?" he asked, crouching down and pointing at a fat stack of folders crammed full of paper.

"Slow death. Hopefully I get a papercut and bleed out."

He rolled his eyes. "Were you always that sassy?"

"I'm working," I said, a bit cross with him. I checked the stack of paperwork and discovered a larger leather bound book. I opened it, flipping the pages in a quick scan. Neat handwriting, with elegant flourishes. Dates. I read a couple of sentences. A journal written by Genesis.

"What is it?"

"Genesis's journal." I sipped my coffee. "Starts with his promotion to Second." I started reading the first entry out loud for my ghost's benefit, but Zack quickly slapped his translucent hand over my mouth. "What?" I asked, frowning at him.

"You can't read a dude's journal."

I didn't dignify that with a response, just started reading silently to myself. Most of it was private and of no real use. He talked about his training regime. He talked about his rivalry with Sephiroth. He talked about girls, but none in particular. He talked and talked and talked about LOVELESS. He talked about being a hero. About making his parents proud. He didn't know that one day he would murder both of them and then let his village burn to the ground.

My PHS beeped. Research time was over. I boxed everything up and headed to the conference room. Reno was sleeping already, head resting on his arms. I nudged him awake just as Tseng strolled through the door. "That's what you get for drinking all night."

He sat down, leaning back in his chair. He met my eyes and almost smiled. Instead he looked at Reno and scowled as the redhead was snuggling back down into dreamland.

Fortunately Rude and Elena chose that moment to walk in and Reno's head popped up.

"Sir," Elena said, glowering a bit resentfully at Tseng. Her belly appeared flat beneath her tailored suit. She sat down, brushing her blond hair behind her ear.

Tseng cleared his throat. "Anything significant?"

I had nothing worth mentioning.

Rude gulped the dregs of his coffee, but didn't say anything.

Reno snored a bit.

This was how Tseng conducted our meetings. If we had something to say, we'd say it. If no one said anything, he would pick at us.

"I got nothing, sir. We need more info," Elena said. "Like what's he doing in Cosmo Canyon?"

"Interesting question," Tseng said. He glanced at me. "Will you talk with Vincent Valentine again?"

I nodded. "Of course."

Reno laughed. "Good luck, Ciss. Talking to Vince is like pulling your teeth with a tonberry's knife."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Means you shouldn't do it, yo."

"She has _orders _to do it," Tseng said. "You can go now. Call in when you have more information."

I stood up. "Sir." Part of me wanted to question him. Why me? It wasn't like Valentine and I had hit it off the first time. And Reno and Rude – hell, even Elena – were probably more prepared than I was. But one thing about being in the Turks: you take your missions as they come.

Talking to Valentine had the potential to be a dangerous mission. I would never underestimate him again. But at the same time, it was a safe mission. Quiet. Just get some information. Tseng's eyes met mine. I'd lingered in the conference room too long. "Is there something you wanted to add, Cissnei?" he asked.

"Just sentimental nothing," I said. "It's good to be back."

Three Turks stifled a smile. Elena scowled openly at me. I turned, waving jauntily over my shoulder. "I'll see you after the mission."

There was a bounce in my step all the way to the glass elevators. The adrenaline of a mission woke me up better than any coffee. I hummed an old drinking song Reno taught me, thinking that this was almost like getting my first assignment jitters all over again. The shiny-newness would wear off eventually, but for now, it was good.

I got all the way to the lobby before I realized that I had no clue where Valentine might be lurking. I mean, I'd ran into him in a bar (which made sense considering he was a Turk pretending to be an ex-Turk), but that didn't mean that I was going to be able to just check every bar in town.

So that left the embarrassing task of going back and asking for direction. I decided I could find him without exposing myself that way. Besides, I was getting a distinct impression that Elena didn't think much of me. With Reno and Rude I didn't feel the need to prove myself, but with her . . . maybe it was a girl thing. Zack loved Aeris. Tseng also had feelings for the girl. But he'd obviously overcome them enough to fraternize with Elena and get her pregnant. So maybe in my mind I saw her like I saw Aeris – something annoying that managed to capture the attention of the people I cared about most.

That was stupid and illogical on so many levels – especially since Tseng and I would never be more than co-workers and maybe friends.

"Zack? Anything?" I called out, hoping for an enthusiastic burst of support. My joy at a new mission was being replaced with exhaustion again. How did I complete missions before? I know I was good at them . . .

He was silent. I looked around and he was nowhere in sight. Maybe he read my thoughts and realized I was mentally bashing his girlfriend. I couldn't help it. It just came natural.

So what did I do? Returned to my apartment and burned the Deepground file in the bathroom sink. I showered and quietly, almost ritualistically, put the suit back on. Suddenly I missed my soft cashmere sweaters and black jeans that I'd worn back in Snowed Inn. I checked my reflection. Still me, even after all this time. Then I headed across the street to Seventh Heaven. Tifa had mentioned Vincent Valentine. So there was a chance she knew where he was. And if not, well, whatever. I'd think of something.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Surveillance **

Sunlight littered the street outside my apartment, glaring off shiny metal surfaces and brightening the disposition of the people milling about in their afternoon shopping. I stood outside Seventh Heaven, lips pressed into a tight, irritated line. The bar was closed. Wouldn't open until evening when bar customers typically came out in significant numbers.

That shot my plan to hell. I didn't have a backup plan. Well, besides the old backup plan. If the people you want to talk to aren't around, let yourself in and take a look around. Unless the people you wanted to talk to are too dangerous. I wasn't sure that Tifa was dangerous to the level that mandated respectful business-hours-only conversation, but I knew that Valentine was that dangerous. Then there was Cloud . . . I definitely didn't want to run into him. He was wrapped up in my past, tangled like spidersilk to the beginning of the end of everything.

Okay. So maybe that is a bit melodramatic. Cloud was also the one who beat Sephiroth not once, but twice. So he was dangerous, right? That was why I wasn't keen on running into him alone. It had nothing to do with the Goblin Bar.

I'd been standing motionless for too long. Some homeless bum bumped into me, daring to try and lift my wallet. My fingers chased his hand from my pocket, recapturing my stolen property. I didn't say anything to him, just turned on my cool and detached Turk eyes. He scuttled away quick enough, leaving behind the poignant scent of fresh urine.

I heard soft laughter. I rolled my eyes skyward in an exaggerated show of frustration. Then, slowly, I swept them downward, taking care to project annoyance with my posture. The people on the street continued by, not noticing my encounter with the bum. The building to the right of Seventh Heaven was vacant, windows closed, shades pulled. The building to the right was also deserted . . . except, there was a flutter of a yellow curtain on the second floor. I could see a shadow of a man, a glint of glowing blue eyes. SOLDIER.

Was he the one who laughed? I don't know. I turned away, making like I was heading back to my apartment. I let my forgotten exhaustion seep into my limbs. Fumbled with my keys to the security door. I kept my charade up all the way into my apartment. I paused, very briefly, at the thermostat and cranked the temperature way down, then fell into bed, not even bothering to change into pajamas.

I waited for twenty minutes. Was there a possibility that the SOLDIER left? Yes. But I didn't want to alert him to my presence. If he was watching me on infrared, the cold would keep him from getting a good readout. Was I being paranoid? In my line of work there was no such thing.

I expected Zack to show up, but he didn't.

I left my apartment quickly, slipping out the back and circling behind Seventh Heaven and the adjacent building. The buildings along the block had small dusty backyards. The back to Seventh Heaven was open, dusty sunlight streaming through the garage style door. My eyes refused to adjust to the softer lighting, but I could hear the clink of a wrench turning a bolt. Someone was doing something in there. I'd see who it was after I checked out the SOLDIER watching me from the window.

The building I was interested in also had a garage door in back, but it was closed. I stepped up to the side door and looked around quickly. No one watching. I checked the handle. Locked. Fifty seconds later I had it picked and entered the building. I drew my shuriken instead of my gun. Why? Because a shuriken didn't make a loud bang when it killed someone.

My eyes adjusted to the gloom quickly. I was in a workshop. There was an old grey van with the engine in pieces. Couple of oily rags. Sitting on the workshop counter was a SOLDIR Second Class helmet and a broadsword. I ran my fingers along the blade lightly. It was sharp and well cared for.

A curtain of blue and white beads covered the doorway leading further into the building. I brushed them aside and headed up a flight of worn wooden stairs. I made more noise than I wanted to. Sneaking up on SOLDIER was difficult no matter how hard you trained, but my years out of the game didn't help anything. No one came flying at me though, so either no one was listening or someone was planning a sneak attack.

Upstairs was a narrow hallway. Sunlight filtered from the window at the end of the hall. Dust motes floated lazily in the air. I stopped and listened. The shrill ringing of someone's PHS nearly gave me a heartattack. I zeroed in on the sound.

The second door on the right was slightly ajar, a man's voice floating from inside. He had that slight twang to his voice that marked him as originally from the Western Continent. Near Rocket Town if I wasn't mistaken. "Nothing new to report," he said. There was a long pause. I crept closer, peering through the door. The SOLDIER was leaning back on a wooden chair, booted feet on the counter of a desk. He was flipping a pencil between his fingers.

Abruptly he dropped his feet, leaning forward. "Actually, I saw Cissnei of the Turks." Pause. "You don't know any Cissnei? Cute little redhead. Hourglass figure. She was –" Another pause and he laughed. "That's because I know everything." He rotated his head, tendons in his neck popping. "Yeah, okay. I'll report when I get there." He closed his PHS. "Damn. I hate boat rides."

He seemed familiar. I moved a bit closer to the crack, staring at him hard. He turned, catching my eye through the crack in the door. "Cissnei!" he exclaimed. "Crap. You did see me. I guess that's what I get for laughing at a Turk." He pushed open the door, folding his arms. "You gonna attack me?"

He acted like I should know him. I had a good memory for faces. But his wasn't triggering anything. He had blue eyes and dirty blond hair. Boyish features. There was a scar above his right eye, crooked. It was red and angry around the edges, but it had the look of an old, old wound.

Zack stepped from behind him, hands on his hips. "It's Kunsel."

"Kunsel?"

Kunsel leaned back, surprise flittering across his features. "You actually recognize me?"

I didn't recognize him, but I remembered him. He was Zack's best friend in SOLDIER. They joined at the same time. Kunsel was the gossip. I'd always thought he would have made a good Turk if he hadn't gone to play SOLDIER. When Zack first went missing, Kunsel was frustrated by his inability to find even a scrap of info on his whereabouts.

I brushed a strand of my hair back. "I suppose I won't attack you if you don't attack me. I owe you that much." I put my shuriken away. Beating the crap out of someone doesn't mean they'll talk, but most of the time that is the best option because there just isn't a way to develop a conversation. I knew Kunsel, so we could start with talking and move to beating later if necessary.

Kunsel was no slouch. He knew what was going on. "So you're going to interrogate me?"

"I know you're working with Genesis," I said. "We have full profiles."

His eyes widened with surprise. "How? We've been careful."

I folded my arms across my stomach, keeping my facial expression in check. Inside was that stupid sinking oh-shit feeling. I had hoped he would deny being involved with Genesis. I had hoped he wasn't involved with Genesis at all.

He turned away, walking to the window and looking out. "I guess you know why I'm here then."

I took a guess. "Cloud."

He looked back, scowling a bit. "Not quite. Cloud is a non-issue. We're supposed to avoid him. I came to see – well, nevermind that. How have you been Cissnei? Still with the Turks, I see. I thought Zack meant more to you than that."

I exhaled. We were _not_ talking about Zack. I was interrogating him about Genesis. "What is Genesis up to, Kunsel?"

"Ask him yourself. It's not my place to say." He looked back out the window, arms crossed across his chest.

"Okay, I will. Where is he? What's his PHS number?" I flipped my handset out, fingers poised to input the numbers.

Kunsel whipped around, glaring at me. "Don't be ridiculous. You're a Turk. I'm not giving you the Commander's PHS number."

I glared back at him. This interrogation sucked. I couldn't even remember my technique. Certainly nothing in the manual suggested asking for the boss bad guy's PHS number. "If you're not going to tell me, then why are we even having this conversation? And better yet, why the f*** are you with Genesis anyway? I thought you were _Zack's_ friend."

His eyes clouded. "Cheap shot, Cissnei. I was Zack's friend. Shinra killed him. The same Shinra you're apparently content to continue working for. So you tell me, why the f*** are you with the Turks anyway? I thought you _loved_ Zack."

I didn't respond. There was a buzzing in my head. This conversation wasn't going anywhere I wanted to go. Zack was blinking in and out of my peripheral vision, speaking. I couldn't hear him.

Kunsel wasn't done. "That's what I thought." He snorted. "I guess it isn't nice to throw it in your face, but what the hell. I'm in a bad mood suddenly."

Throw what in my face? I didn't want to know, but I forced myself to meet his eyes. "Just say whatever it is," I said, voice low. Controlled. A practiced lying façade honed by years as a Turk.

"If he were here, what would he think of you working for the people that murdered him? Used him up, experimented on him, discarded him? Nothing left but memories. Not even a goddamn body to send to his parents."

My throat tightened, vision blurring for a second.

Zack suddenly solidified in my vision. "Cissnei, breathe. You're hyperventilating."

I blinked. Realized he was right. I was clutching the doorframe for support. I blamed my diet of coffee and research. My blood pressure was low. It had nothing to do with Kunsel's scathing indictment. Kunsel had crossed the room. He had one hand on my arm, his blue eyes concerned and a little triumphant. He helped me to the chair and brought me a glass of water.

I accepted the water. I was better now, but no sense in telling him that. "What am I supposed to do Kunsel? Genesis wants to destroy the world. Am I supposed to just stand aside? Zack fought Genesis too, you know."

"On Shinra's orders. They made up before Shinra killed Zack and captured Genesis."

My head snapped up at that. "Made up? How? When? And when were you going to tell me?" All my questions were directed at Zack. Kunsel answered. Zack stood by the window, staring silently into the street.

"They fought and came to an agreement. Then Zack took his friend and headed toward Midgar."

That hardly clarified things. "Zack?" I asked softly.

The dead SOLDIER turned, blue eyes dark with emotion. "Yeah, we fought at Banora. He wanted to reenact LOVELESS. I don't know." He rubbed the back of his head. "After I beat him I took him out of the . . . cave, I guess, and gave him an apple. And I guess you could say that we were making up, but really, I guess I don't know." He shrugged. "We didn't _not_ make up. I would still be fighting him if he was still trying to destroy the world. I guess." He turned away again.

Kunsel frowned. "Yeah. Zack did."

"I . . . think saying they made up is a bit strong," I said. "Genesis lost to Zack and then the fight was over."

"What would you know about it?"

I didn't answer. It's not like I could tell him that I saw Zack and he talked to me. I sipped the water. "Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about Genesis. Tell me what he wants. If he's not a threat, I can convince Tseng to not do anything about him. It'll be a non-issue."

Kunsel shook his head. "He wants life, Cissnei. Life without pain. And revenge."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Zack's Friend**

Revenge is the ultimate motivator. It has led to some pretty violent battles. It has led to some pretty ugly deaths. When Sephiroth found out about his history, he sought revenge on the whole planet. I doubted Genesis's version of revenge was going to be less violent. "What does this 'revenge' entail?" I asked, certain I already knew parts of the answer.

"People will die." Kunsel's eyes blazed with something akin to passion. His voice raised a couple of octaves. Once upon a time, he'd been Zack's easy going friend. That Kunsel seemed a lifetime away right now.

I nodded slowly. "Fine." I met his eyes. "So Genesis is a threat."

"Damn straight he is."

"He'll attack Shinra?"

"He'll destroy Shinra. And anyone who gets in his way."

Zack stepped between us, forcing me to look away so he wouldn't dissipate. "Ask him what he's doing. Why is he helping Genesis? Is he just gonna attack people?" Zack looked tired – did dead people feel exhaustion the same way that the living did? I didn't know.

"What about you, Kunsel? Are you going to fight Shinra too?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Same reason. Revenge." As Kunsel spoke, Zack dropped his head, hugging his arms.

"For Zack?"

"Not just for Zack. Shinra's killed other people. You said you had full profiles, so I suppose you know that I was picked up by Deepground after Zack died. A lot of us were. Most of the SOLDIERs didn't have a problem with it. They accepted the new assignment and willingly let Shinra experiment with their minds and souls. They locked us in a damn pit, Cissnei. They treated us like dirt. _Expendable_ dirt."

"Deepground kidnapped innocent people and sacrificed them, not Shinra."

"Get real, Deepground is Shinra, Cissnei. I am not and never will be part of Shinra again. Not everyone taken into that hellhole cooperated." He fingered the scar on his forehead. "Some of us remember a stupid little thing called honor. Something Shinra doesn't have. Probably never did."

I bit my bottom lip. Trying to talk Kunsel out of his revenge was impossible, but I had to try anyway. I mean, impossible things had happened before, right? "Deepground was Rupert Shinra and Professor Hojo's project. President Rufus didn't even know about it. And when they went on their little rampage, he wasn't giving them orders. He was against them."

Kunsel waived my comments away. "If I had a gil for every time someone in Shinra claimed ignorance of _Shinra's_ activities, I would be richer than little President Rufus himself." He glanced out the window again and for a second a soft expression graced his features. Just as quick it vanished. He yanked the curtain closed. "Shinra destroyed my family, Cissnei. I guess I just don't care. I'd rather they all just die."

"Me included?"

"You could leave," he said. "Join us. I know you're not just some mindless attack dog. Why stay with Shinra? Why work with murderers?"

Why indeed?

I stood up. My chair scraped back against the wooden floor. "I don't want to fight you, Kunsel."

He shook his head, looking toward the ceiling. "So stupid, Cissnei. They don't deserve your loyalty." He reached for his sword, which he'd left downstairs in the workshop. His face registered surprise at its absence, and then, faintly a hint of fear. For all my faults, I was a Turk. The title alone inspired fear.

Zack flung himself between us. "Please, Cissnei! Just let him go." His blue eyes glowed faintly as they met my eyes. Like Kunsel, he was convinced that I was just going to attack now.

I started to say that I wasn't going to do anything. I was going to walk away. Oh, sure, I would report what I'd heard. And somewhere down the road I would fight against Genesis and his army. I would stand by Shinra so long as the Turks stood by Shinra. Of course, I never got the chance to say any of that though. Because Kunsel got that trapped animal look. He knew more about the Turks than most SOLDIERs. He knew how dangerous we could be. And without his sword, he felt the need for preemptive violence.

The scent of ozone was suddenly poisoning the air. There was a shimmer of visible light. And then white and blue lightning was crashing toward me. I lifted my arms, eyes closing. There just wasn't time to get out of the way. The energy slammed me into the floor, leaving brilliant blurs of white light flashing in front of my eyes. I rolled backward, coming to my feet. My shuriken was in my hand for a split second, then it was whistling through the air.

Kunsel blocked it with his left arm. One prong sliced through his skin, leaving a rugged tear. I caught a glimmer of white bone before his blood started gushing from the wound. He launched toward me, foot lashing out and connecting with my forearm. I felt something crack and was grateful that I manage to block. If he'd hit my ribs, I'd be relearning how to breath while he dismantled me.

I moved with his attack, circling him and retrieving my shuriken. I used the red weapon to catch another bolt spell and defect the brunt of it towards the wall. There was an explosion as it hit. Bits of plaster shot outward and the butter yellow curtains caught fire.

Kunsel was spinning, SOLDIER enhancements already staunching the flow of blood. I caught his shoulder with my shuriken, slamming the blade in as far as it would go. He back kicked me in the stomach. I flew backward, taking my shuriken with me. I hit the wall and flung the weapon at him.

Zack appeared between us again. He was screaming at me. My shuriken passed through him and lodged in Kunsel's chest. He yanked it out, throwing it out the window. An emerald materia glowed in his left hand.

Another bolt spell. If I hadn't already been knocked flat on my ass, it would have driven me to my knees. I tried to make out Zack's words – he wanted me to . . . run? Kunsel was still his friend. I drew my pistol and fired a shot at the bleeding wound on the SOLDIER's chest. I got three shots off, each striking within a four inch area.

_"Please!"_ Zack shouted. "Cissnei, stop!"

I lowered my gun. "Kunsel, wait. I'm not going to attack you."

I could hear the crackle of fire. It had spread from the curtains to the desk and was consuming the papers. I could see the edges blackening, curling upward. The fire danced in his eyes. In his hand the materia glowed as he started another spell.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm not even going to take you in. You can leave and I can leave. For Zack –"

His eyes narrowed. "Leave Zack out of his," he snapped.

The bolt spell rained down upon me like death itself. For a second I couldn't breathe. Then I drew one smoke-filled breath after another. Got back to my feet. Kunsel grabbed my hair, slamming me against the wall. His arm wrapped around my throat, tightening.

From the corner of my eye, I could see the anguish on Zack's face. He didn't tell me to stop anymore. He didn't say anything. I pressed the barrel of my gun into his friend's face. Zack looked away. I started to pull down on the trigger.

Later, in my report, I would tell Tseng that I didn't have enough oxygen to pull the trigger. Later, I would claim that I took every last shot I could. But when it came to it, I just couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing Zack every day, knowing that I had killed his friend over a misunderstanding. A battle that didn't have to happen.

So I kept my finger on the trigger until I couldn't think. Then darkness claimed me, dragging me to the silent hell my nightmares.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Memories of the Goblin Bar **

I was running down a burning corridor. If I could get to the other side, I could save Zack. It was a familiar nightmare. I never got to the other side. The flames always charred my skin, leaving me howling in agony. Burns are the worst injury possible. Don't ask why, just trust me on that.

I woke up sweating, fully aware that I had been making mewling noise just before my eyes snapped open. I met Kunsel's eyes. I blinked slowly, confirming what my eyes were telling me. There was a young boy – maybe between ten and twelve – staring at me with Kunsel's eyes.

I heard movement to my left and twisted, expecting to see Kunsel. Cloud Strife stared at me. "You alright?" he asked, voice low.

"I'll get Tifa," the boy with Kunsel's eyes said. He hopped off a stool and raced out of the room.

I sat up, listening to his footfalls grow distant. The room I was in had two twin beds covered with plain cotton blankets. There was a dresser against the wall, sporting a picture of Cloud, Tifa, the boy with Kunsel's eyes, and a little brunette girl with an overlarge bow in her hair. I sat up, coughing. My reflection flashed in a mirror. My suit jacket was gone, along with my shoulder holster. Someone had cut the left sleeve off my dress shirt and replaced it with gauzy white bandages. My throat was ringed with deep purple bruises. My skin was pale, colored only with a hint of soot.

Cloud rested his chin on his hands, leaning forward. "You came by Seventh Heaven earlier. I saw you looking in while I was working on Fenrir." He waited a second for me to speak and when I said nothing, he continued. "Tifa said you're with the Turks."

"Cissnei," I murmured, my voice raw from almost being choked to death by a combination of smoke and SOLDIER.

"Kiss me?" Cloud repeated, quirking an eyebrow.

I jerked, déjà vu sending a tingle along my spine. When I first met Cloud, all those years ago, he'd heard 'kiss me' when I told him my name. Back then I said it was the noise from the bar patrons that blurred my name. We were immortal back then, full of youthful hopes and dreams. Even I thought that for all the darkness I witnessed as a Turk, there was some sort of bright shining future for the entire planet. Shinra would show us the way.

"What happened?" I asked, moving my feet off the edge of the bed, facing away from him. He was another one of Zack's old friends. Kunsel had been there with us at the Goblin Bar, shooting doubles down, laughing. _Kiss her, Cloud_, he'd said, _that is, if you know how to kiss girls_. Cloud's cheeks had been so pink.

"There was a fire next door," Cloud said. He didn't move, but when I glanced toward the mirror I saw him watching me in the reflection. "I put the flames out with a blizzard spell. You were on the second floor."

"Was anyone else there?"

"A man left just as I was arriving."

So Kunsel was alive. Did that mean that he left me alive? Or had he left me for dead? And what about next time? How was this even going to work?

"Who was he?" Cloud asked.

"Kunsel."

Cloud's expression remained closed. No flash of recognition.

"I am . . . Cissnei."

"Cloud Strife," he said by way of introduction. He didn't remember me. Or if he did, he was doing a great job pretending that he didn't.

"We've met," I said.

"Last night?" he said. "I don't know if I would call that meeting –"

"Long time ago," I said. I touched my throat. It hurt to speak. I swallowed and that hurt too. "Did he leave me for dead or did he leave me so I would live?"

"For dead," Cloud said.

"So you'd live," Zack said, materializing somewhere behind me.

"Why do you say that?"

"All the doors and windows were hit with a Fire spell," Cloud said.

"He's Kunsel – he doesn't do stuff like that!" Zack said at the same time.

I closed my eyes, trying to take shallow breaths so the motion wouldn't hurt. "I'm going to have to go with Cloud on this one," I murmured.

"Hn?" Cloud said, eyes narrowing. "As opposed to going with . . ."

I swallowed painfully again, remembering that I alone saw Zack. "I wanted him to have left me for alive."

Cloud nodded, standing up finally. He moved to the dresser, opening the top drawer and pulling a vial of potion out. "You should drink this. It'll help with the bruising on your throat if you do." He offered me the vial.

I accepted it, pouring the green liquid into my mouth. I could feel it kicking in immediately, like an ocean breeze after trudging through a desert. Cloud sat on the bed across from me, meeting my eyes with his own. "Where did we meet?"

"When?'

"The first time."

"Midgar. Midgar most of the time. Once on the Nibel plains. Then Midgar again." I tried to smile, but it felt more like a sneer so I stopped trying. "Forget about it."

He touched his temple. "I think I already did. When did we meet for the first time? Were you at the Reactor or in the Shinra building?"

"Goblin Bar."

He frowned, looking thoroughly perplexed now. "I see," he said, although it was clear that he didn't.

"I should leave." I got off the bed. My bare feet touched a plush carpet. Where the hell had my shoes gotten off too?

Cloud stood too, and suddenly we were too close. I sat back down. I'd been swaying anyway. Cloud sat back down. He seemed uncomfortable. "That guy who set the building on fire, he was in SOLDIER, wasn't he?"

"Yeah. He used to be . . . we used to know each other," I said. I left off the part where we'd both been friends of Zack's. The chances were that Cloud didn't remember the black haired SOLDIER anyway. Clearly the mako poisoning had blurred his memories somewhat.

"Oh, I see," Cloud said. "About him. Do you know if he –" The door opened, and he stopped talking. He looked over his shoulder at Tifa and the boy with Kunsel's eyes.

"How did you know he was in SOLDIER?" I asked.

"Mako eyes." Cloud's voice was barely above a whisper. I think he realized that the boy looked like Kunsel.

I met the boy's eyes. He stared at me unflinchingly. "I'm Cissnei of the Turks," I said, voice still harsh from the choking.

"Denzel," he said. "This is Tifa."

Tifa smiled at me with a look that promised trouble if I made trouble. "How are you feeling?" she asked. "I hope you don't mind, but I called Reno and Rude to come and get you. They're on their way."

I minded. I still hadn't decided how I was going to explain myself to my co-workers. "It's no problem," I lied. "Thanks."

"So what happened?" she asked.

"Honestly. He forgot his sword downstairs. Then he thought I was going to attack him when he wasn't armed. So he went on the offense and hit me with Bolt. Honestly, it isn't the first time someone's tried the fry-first and talk later strategy when dealing with a Turk."

"Usually it isn't such a successful strategy," Tifa noted.

I hated her in that instant. It wouldn't have been successful at all if I'd just popped the rest of my clip into his face. Even with mako enhancements, he would have died. And I'd be in my apartment washing brain matter from my hair. If I'd acted like a Turk instead of a confused child –

Cloud touched my arm, sending a tingle up my spine. "It's okay. You knew him, didn't you?"

"He was the best friend of the man that I . . . love." Don't ask me why I said that.

"Zack Fair again, yo?" Reno said, pushing the door open. "Doesn't that guy ever get forgotten, Cissnei?" He took a long drag on his cigarette, then started to drop it. At a stern look from Tifa, he resisted the urge. "Tifa here tells us you got your ass kicked. Now we find out it was Zack's best friend. What is that supposed to mean, yo?"

"Nothing," I grated out. "And I got careless. It won't happen again." I was moving toward Reno, had been from the second I heard his voice. I wanted the relative safety he offered me, even if it was accompanied by that cool look he got whenever Zack graced our conversations.

Reno was turning, already confident I would follow him out the door. What a bartender and a never-has-been SOLDIER said or did just didn't matter to him right now.

I was almost out the door when Cloud caught my wrist. I glanced back at him. His baby blue eyes searched mine. "Zack Fair?" he repeated. "You knew Zack?"

"He introduced us . . . once," I said. "At the Goblin Bar. Try not to dwell on it though. Kunsel is still alive, but Zack isn't. He died seven years ago." I tried to keep going, and his fingers tightened.

"I know he's dead, but –"

"Yo, Strife. Let the girl go," Reno said. "Can't you see she's had a hard day?"

"He's right," I said. "Besides, you're better off not remembering all that . . . idealism." I twisted my hand free.

Together with Reno I fled Seventh Heaven. I thought we would return to HQ and I would get to fill out paperwork. Instead Reno took me to my apartment. The lock was still broken and the AC had turned the room into a snowless version of the Northern Continent.

"Get some sleep, Cissnei. I'll watch the damn door," Reno said. "The details can wait for once." He kissed my forehead, then scooped me up and dropped me in my bed. The force of the fall sent pain arching away from my forearm. I glowered at him, but he only shook his head and kissed my forehead again. "You really had me freaked, girl," he muttered. "I just got you back, yo. You gotta be more careful."

We exchanged a handful of words. Then I was asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: Sidelined **

My shirt was unbuttoned when I woke up. Reno was in my bed. His body was pressed against mine, one hand snaked across my stomach, cupping my breast. His breath tickled against my skin. I lay perfectly still, listening to my heart beat against Reno's hand. This was okay. I was content to be cocooned in his arms. He was awake, listening to me listen to him. Neither of us said anything.

The main door to my apartment opened. I could hear the hinges sigh quietly. I didn't hear the intruder. I assumed it was Rude, but I retrieved my gun from the bedside table. Reno had cleaned it last night and reloaded it for me. I could feel the tingle of magic as he powered up a Fire spell.

The intruder rapped on the bedroom door, bare knuckles on hard wood. The knock was so familiar it made my chest tighten. Tseng. He opened the door, dark brown eyes sweeping the corners automatically. He offered us a tight smile as he crossed the room. He pulled the chair away from the desk and sat facing us, a manila folder in one hand.

"Mornin' boss," Reno murmured. He traced his fingers down my stomach, catching the waistband of my panties.

I put the gun back on the bedside table, then firmly pulled his hand up, resting it just under my breasts. "Good morning, sir."

Tseng wasn't surprised to see us in bed together because this wasn't the first time he'd found us tucked in. It was a Reno-thing. And as sexual as Reno was, there was nothing sexual about this. This was comfort, pure and simple. Some people ate food for comfort, Reno spooned himself against me or Rude. He'd told me once that he felt safest when he was close to the people he could trust unconditionally.

Tseng flipped open the file. "Elena tracked Vincent down last night in Junon Harbor. He's been watching for Genesis and his people. Apparently no one has come from Costa Del Sol with mako tinged eyes that he's noticed. But Kunsel caught a boat heading there midevening yesterday."

"Okay," I said. "Did Reno tell you what happened last night?"

"I got most of the details," Tseng said. "I'll need you to fill in some pieces." He flipped a page. "Vincent believes Genesis is in the Cosmo Canyon area. I'll need you and Reno -"

"Hold please," Reno said. "Talking to Vincent was Cissnei's assignment, yo," he said. "What the hell is up with 'Laney? Who snitches an assignment?"

"Cissnei was apparently passed out from exhaustion. She made a poor choice to meet up with you and Rude and drink herself into a near coma before reporting for work. Then she fought a SOLDIER Second Class." His tone oozed displeasure, but it was directed at me, not Reno. He locked eyes with me. "Tell me, Cissnei, how did the fight go?"

I cleared my throat. Reno started making small circles on my belly, trying to tell me that he had my back, I guess. I quickly filled Tseng in on the fight. I didn't tell him about my clear shot to kill Kunsel. In my story I lost consciousness before I could pull the trigger.

Maybe, in retrospect, telling it that way didn't help me much. But telling Tseng that I failed to take out a target would have been worse. After I finished, Tseng nodded. "Reno, get out of her bed," he said. "You're going to Cosmo Canyon with Rude. Low profile. Scout out their location and report back to me. Avoid bars. Kunsel knows that you two are alcoholics from his time with Cissnei."

Reno grunted. He let go of me immediately, swinging out of bed. He was fully clothed. He grinned at me. "Guess this is goodbye, babe." He pulled a pack of cigarettes from an inside pocket, popping one out and offering it to me. I accepted, placing the cigarette between my lips while he lighted it. He kept steady eye contact the whole time, and after I took a drag, he turned away. As he disappeared through the door, I heard his PHS snap open. "Hey Rude, guess you and me get to go get sand in our hair." He paused, no doubt listening to Rude's response, then said "Well, you're not bald everywhere, are you, yo?" Then he was gone.

I sat up and started buttoning my blouse only to realize that one sleeve was still missing. I tugged it off instead. "What about me?"

"Well," Tseng said. "I was going to send you to Cosmo Canyon since you're not as readily recognizable as Reno, Rude, Elena, or myself. However, in light of your account of the fight . . ." He shook his head. "I didn't realize – and really I should have – but you have not had a proper assignment in over seven years. I want to run you through training and make sure you can still handle yourself in the field."

"I can –"

Tseng stood up, cutting off anything else I might have said. "There was a time when a cocky SOLDIER second wouldn't have walked away from a fight with you. You . . ." He glanced at me. "You need your training refreshed. I'm not sending you back into the field until I _know_ you're 100% capable."

"One hundred percent?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. "What is that supposed to mean?" I hopped out of bed and yanked open the closest. A neat row of two white blouses and two blue suit jackets stared back at me. I started getting dressed, but stopped cold when Tseng spoke.

"I want you to run the entire training course from start to finish. When you can do it with a score of 90% or better on every aspect, you'll get a field assignment."

"Ninety percent?" I asked, spinning to gawk at him. "That's ridiculous. No one gets 90% or higher in everything."

"I got 96% percent overall," Tseng said. "And not lower than 90% in any category."

"Yeah, but you're not a mere mortal, Tseng. You're like super-Turk. Settle for 80%. That's still above average."

He adjusted his tie, smoothing it against his dress shirt. "Cissnei, I am not losing you again."

"That's because I'm not going anywhere," I said. "I'm here to stay." I started strapping on my gun holster.

Tseng stepped forward and started buttoning up my blouse. I hadn't realized that it was still unbuttoned. "You could have died," he said. "That used to be acceptable, but now it isn't. I should have had you evaluated the second you walked into my office." He finished the last button and tapped the tip of my nose. "Don't argue with me."

"I'm not arguing – I'm negotiating. Please, how about 85% overall? I think my original scores were in the 70s, so that'll be better than I ever was. And you need me in the field. Don't set the bar so high that I can't jump it."

He shook his head, bemused. "Fine." He left.

Just as he was out of sight, I said, "Tseng . . . one thing."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, Cissnei," Tseng said. "I shouldn't have let you come back to this." Then he was gone, footfall moving at a steady pace to the stairs.

..

Veld once told me that Shinra had two types of elite: the shiny, bright-eyed SOLDIERs and the gritty, born-in-darkness Turks. The idealists went to SOLDIER. The realists went to the Turks. I'd told him I was an idealist. He'd laughed at me. _You're full of darkness, girl_, he'd said. _So much hatred for such a young girl. No. SOLDIER wouldn't know what to do with you. You would burn so hot and so bright – like a falling star. A meteorite_. He ruffled my copper curls. _Maybe that'll be your name._

He was right. Veld was always right.

Back then the training had been so easy. First the easy stuff, following the training robot with my eyes. Chasing it on foot. The simple patterns gave away to the complex. Then the shooting exercises. All Turks are trained to use a gun. First stationary targets. Then moving targets. If you could shoot them fast enough and accurately enough your score would be higher. Eventually we moved to simulated people. Then real people, but that was in the field after training was over.

Simulated targets didn't smell like fear and death and shit after you shot them.

The routines Tseng put me through were familiar. Shooting the sims was so easy. It took me a couple of weeks, but I hit 85% quickly. Tseng wasn't pleased. He hid it well, but I could see an intense desire to protect me in the way he held himself. When I reached the designated score, he stared at the printout, then sent me home. "I'll have a mission for you in the morning," he said.

In the morning he set me up with surveillance on a gang operating out of the Midgar ruins. The gang was full of teenage boys operating out of what used to be Sector 6. They each had a tattoo of Meteor plunging from the sky. They had multiple piercings and they slicked their hair with colored flan gel. They also screamed and ran if a monster cropped up in their vicinity. In other words, Tseng had sidelined me. Eighty-five wasn't good enough for him.

Did I care?

A little. But not much. Tseng knew what he was doing. If he thought this was the best place for me, I could accept that. Besides it wasn't like I wanted to have a rematch with Kunsel. It wasn't like I wanted to see Genesis again. I would have liked to work with Reno and Rude, but there would be time for that later. What I really wanted, I had again. A place to belong.

My third night of surveillance was interrupted by the power turning on in the city. It light up like a ghost town in reverse, street lights flickering to life. Billboards glowing in mako enhanced light. Worst of all was the Shinra Building. All the lights came on, lighting it up like a beacon of hope against the night sky. The teenage gang split with an audible whimper.

I called Tseng. His PHS went straight to voicemail. "Hey boss, someone turned the power on in Midgar. It looks like the Number 6 reactor. I'm going to check it out."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven: Under Midgar Lights **

I used to live in Sector 6. I had a cute little apartment seven blocks from the train leading to the station closest to Shinra. Of course, I had a motorcycle, so I never took the train. The streets were broken, chunks concrete and twisted metal lying wherever they'd originally fallen. The Planet was trying to reclaim the city. Scrubby looking moss struggled for life in pockets of dirt and sand. Wolf trails wound through the streets and into the abandoned buildings.

I stuck to the shadows. Even with the power back on, the majority of the streetlights had been destroyed. And even if they hadn't, I'd walked these streets enough times to know where the light didn't fall. The number 6 reactor was two blocks from my old apartment. So I used that as my pretext for going home.

The building was hell on the inside. There were a few sets of human remains in the hallway, skulls crushed, bones picked clean by scavengers. The elevator call button was lit up, but I ignored it in favor of the stairs. The building didn't really seem all that stable.

My apartment was the corner unit on the fifth floor. It was locked. I'd long since lost the keys, but I didn't have an alarm system. The deadbolt wasn't engaged, so I simply broke the lock and entered. Everything was covered with a thick coat of dust.

I ignored the leather sofa where I had once entertained the great Commander Rhapsodes himself. Wasn't that a sad, sad night anyway? The night I realized that Zack would never ever be mine. And speaking of Zack, I realized with a sudden pang that I hadn't seen him since the day I fought Kunsel and met Cloud. He was just gone.

His absence hurt terribly, but not as terribly as forgetting about him hurt. How could I have been so busy as to forget him? My eyes scanned the room, lingering on the liquor cabinet. Through the film of dust covering the glass, I could just make out a half full bottle of liquor.

Tempting.

I headed into the bedroom. Rhapsodes had been here too. I shook the memory and knelt by the bed, reaching under it for the parts of my past I hadn't completely given up on. I pulled out a white and pink plastic jewelry box with a cheap fake gold clasp. The box had come from my mother. I popped the clasp and a plastic dancer popped up, spinning to the tiny sound of some happy-princess music.

Inside were my keepsakes. I tucked my first summon materia into my jacket pocket. I've only used it once for my first murder. I also took a photograph of me and Zack and Cloud and Kunsel and Luxeriere. Me and my SOLDIERs. Zack was grinning like the devil himself. I tucked the picture into my pocket with the materia. There was an old heavy locket too, but I left it behind. Inside there was a photo of my mom and dad on their wedding day . . . and I didn't need that memory.

I dialed Tseng's number again. He didn't answer. I told him I was close to the reactor now. I was putting my phone to silent. I would message him any breaking news. If something happened to me at least he would have some clue what I had seen.

..

As a Turk, I spent a good deal of time in Shinra mako reactors. They're all built the same. I used Rude's access codes. Mine were probably deactivated for years, and Rude never changed his password. Well, that's not exactly true. He had two passwords. Anytime there was a forced change he would flip to the other one. I got lucky and picked the right one on my first try.

Inside looked like a friggin' mess. Most of the circuits to the reactor were overwhelmed. I surmised that when powering the Sister Ray, there had been something of an overload. From the reports, all seven reactors spewed green mako energy into the air, bursting like volcanoes. I used the maintenance access hatch and headed down a ladder into the bowels of the facility.

I heard voices after not too long. I slipped closer. I'd scored 92% on my stealth scores in the simulator. It had been one area I never wanted to be deficient in again. Maybe if Kunsel hadn't spotted me I wouldn't have had to fight him.

There were three men outside the main reactor. All three were dressed in SOLDIER uniforms. Two seconds and one third. I retrieved a pair of binoculars with a built in camera and zoomed in on their faces. I didn't know the third, but I knew the seconds. Luxeriere and Stormbanks. Stormbanks was an overconfident asshole. Luxeriere was one of Zack's okay-friends. Probably two steps below Kunsel on the buddy ladder.

They weren't making any effort to be quiet. Stormbanks had both of his swords out and was sweeping them through the air lazily. "I hope someone _does_ see us. I haven't gotten to fight anything besides stupid razorweed in a week. The commander treats us like a bunch of Wutai mud-monkey ninja girls."

"Shut up, man," the Third said. "I hear Strife sometimes is in the slums. Visiting a Church or something. Rumor says that he fought Sephiroth here." He shivered visibly. "And won."

"Funny thing about rumors is that they're just that, rumors. Not based on fact."

"What? You want to fight him?"

Stormbanks snorted. "Strife failed out of SOLDIER. That makes him less than you Roger. At least you passed the entrance exams."

Luxeriere pushed Roger the Third Class out of the way. "I'd rather not fight Strife. But I'm more worried about the Turks. They got eyes everywhere."

"They've gone soft," Stormbanks sneered. "Tseng's getting grey hair. Besides, their top two guys just got picked up in Cosmo Canyon. The Commander will take care of them pretty quick."

I messaged Tseng. My heartbeat picked up a quicker rhythm. They had Reno and Rude.

Luxeriere tapped a couple of keys on the portable computer they had plugged in. "Yeah, well, it looks like the download is at 70%. Just a few more minutes and we can kill the power."

They had another team somewhere. Probably at Shinra HQ. I needed to know what they were downloading. And I had to stop them from getting a full read. I messaged Tseng everything I knew. I drew my handgun, drew a bead on Stormbanks and pulled the trigger.


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy Thanksgiving! In celebration of the holiday I decided to update early. Enjoy! Also, thanks for all the reviews last time. I'm glad you like the story :)**

**Chapter Twelve: Fighting SOLDIER**

Two things happened. First, there was a gunshot seconds before mine went off. Luxeriere hit the floor, computer jerking from its port. Blood gushed from his throat. Second, Stormbanks whirled on the shooter, ruining my shot.

The shooter kept out of sight, opening fire on the SOLDIERs. Stormbanks blocked the shots with his double swords. The Third pulled a PHS from his pocket. I shot him in the face. He didn't even have time to be surprised. I swung down from my position, racing forward, keeping low to the ground and close to the railings. Yes, I was running into the line of fire, but I needed to cut the power and I could only do that from up close.

Stormbanks spotted me coming at the last second. He spun, blades crashing toward my head. I blocked with my shuriken. He got shot in the back at the same time. He stumbled forward, mako eyes blazing with pain. He whirled on the shooter, charging forward. Idiot. The shooter didn't matter. The power did.

I heard the shooter and Stormbanks engage in a closer fight, but I didn't even look. I grabbed the portable computer and plugged it back in. The stat scream popped up, the download was now 80% complete. I took a snapshot of the screen with my PHS, then cut the power to Midgar. We were instantly plunged into darkness.

Which meant SOLDIERs with glow-in-the-dark eyes would have the advantage in a fight. I used a Bolt 3 spell to destroy the terminal so that if anything happened to me, they wouldn't just be able to plug back in.

As I spun to leave someone grabbed my ankle, jerking me to the floor. I hit my head on the railing that prevented people from falling to the reactor's core. For a second everything was jumbled. Then there was a man on top of me. I could feel hot, thick blood plopping onto my face.

"Cissnei?" the man gasped. Luxeriere. I expected Zack to pop up and holler at me. But Zack's absence continued. Luxeriere was bleeding from the shot to his neck, but it was already healing. "Why you?"

Confession time. I never liked Luxeriere. Something about him creeped me out. Maybe it was because he was from Junon. People from Junon are a different caliber of people. They're not like the cut-throat of the slums or the snootiness of the plates. They're cold and rich and live in the most polluted, military city on the Planet. They're like bloody silk, always coy and looking out for themselves.

Luxeriere surprised me though. He let go of my throat and helped me to a sitting position. "So you're here to stop us?" he asked.

"Yes –" My eyes were adjusting to the ambient light and I could see hope on his face.

"I want out," he said. "Make it happen and I'll tell you everything."

"Done," I said. "Let's go now." We kept low and headed for the elevator. When we reached it, he took the ladder first and I followed. We made it into the street. I still had their computer tucked under my arm. We went to my apartment because it was the first safe place I could think of. In the dark it was creepy.

He slumped onto my couch. "Genesis is crazy," he said. "He keeps ranting about what we've lost. Like what we lost was a diamond ring that can simply be replaced. He talks to himself. I don't think he knows what is going on half the time. He wants it _all_ back."

"All?"

"That's the part that worries me. He keeps talking about Commander Hewley and General Sephiroth."

"What about Kunsel?"

"He's screwed up really bad. His wife died when Meteor fell. At least that's what he thinks. His son is missing."

Kunsel's son wasn't missing anymore. He was living with Cloud at _Seventh_ _Heaven_. "Okay," I said to Luxeriere. "Where is Genesis?"

"Cosmo Canyon. Not in the city though. There used to be a research facility there. I think Angeal's mom did research at that location. It's by the Ancient forest."

Would I have gotten more detailed information? Yes. But at the moment, I heard the creak of an old board in the hall. I snapped my shuriken from its holster. "Watch out. We were followed," I said.

Luxeriere looked up at the door. It splintered. Stormbanks lurched through, swords coated in blood. He glowered at Luxeriere. "Talking to a Turk. Penalty is death. You should have learned from Kunsel. But I guess you're just soft." He attacked without hesitation.

Zack once told me that Luxeriere was a so-so fighter. He would never make First because he had no heart. Luxeriere liked the finer things in life. Women and parties and illegal drugs. He made a good Second because the majority of missions for the Seconds were jokes. Easy milk runs. The SOLDIER execs knew what their operatives could and couldn't do, so he was assigned appropriately.

Luxeriere blocked the first sword with his own. The second sword slipped between his ribs, pinning him to my couch. The wound on his neck started bleeding freely again. His grey eyes widened, mouth opening in a silent scream. It all happened in the space of a heartbeat.

I hit him with Regen, then Cure 3. Seconds later, I flung my shuriken at Stormbanks, forcing him to block with one sword. He jerked the other one from Luxeriere's body, and slashed it toward me. Droplets of blood snapped free of the silver blade. I was moving toward him, and had to drop my upper body as if I were playing the ultimate game of limbo. The sword whistled over my head. My momentum kept me from hitting the floor. I came up, snatching my shuriken from midair and slicing toward his throat.

His first sword was already moving. I hit it with booted feet, moving up the blade. My left shin connected with the side of his face. I felt bone crunching. That would never be enough. Then I was over his head. I drew my gun with my right hand and opened fire on his back. Three shots, then his sword ruined the barrel of my gun.

I nimbly leapt backward into the hallway, drawing him away from Luxeriere. We battled down the stairs, swords versus shuriken and kicks and punches and magic. SOLDIER versus Turk. Man versus woman. Killer versus killer.

In the street, I had an advantage. My weapon did better from a distance. His did better up close. I danced out of his reach, cutting his skin with my red weapon. He moved closer, sword tearing through the back of my suit jacket and stopping at the leather of my holster. I flipped over him, hitting him with a Blizzard spell. The chunk of ice smashed into the top of his skull, leaving blood trickling through his blond hair.

And so the fight continued.

Something you find out when you're in a real fight. They don't last as long as they do in the movies. A real fight is quick and brutal. The longer it takes the worse off both combatants are. Stormbanks knocked me onto my back with a lucky downward kick. He slammed one sword into my shoulder, pinning me into place. "You know what Kunsel said about you? That he just _couldn't_ kill you. I'm glad. I like killing and killing girls who think they're badass is just a perk. Bye-bye, bitch," he said.

Those were his last words. My shuriken finished glancing off the side of a building and decapitated him. He didn't even have time to look surprised. His body crumbled, head rolling away. Not even mako could heal that.

I tried to pull the sword and realized that the handle was out of my reach. And the blade was lodged in the street. For a second I lay still, debating my options. I could try Tseng again . . . except I'd lost my PHS in the battle. I could pull myself up the sword until I reached the hilt . . . except I probably wouldn't be strong enough to pull the blade from the concrete. I could . . .

I heard footsteps approaching.

I could be very, very quiet. Dead in fact. I closed my eyes most of the way, just enough to look like I wasn't sleeping peacefully. Whoever was approaching had a gun. I could hear him reloading. He was also wearing metal boots.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen: Cessna**

The materia in my inside jacket pocket summoned a Cessna. Cessna used holy magic and white fire to burn her enemies. She was a glorious bird with pure white plumes. I found her summon materia when I was a little girl. I'd nearly drowned pulling the red stone from the river. I hadn't gone after it because it was a materia. I went after it because it was beautiful. I wanted something beautiful in my life.

My father used to beat me. As a Turk I got quite a few scars. The oldest ones were from his belt. I don't know how I summoned Cessna – the materia had been hidden in my sock drawer when he started in on me, smelling like cheap beer and sex. He screamed for what felt like hours when the white flames descended upon his skin.

I'd burned the whole village to the ground. Everyone died. Veld picked me from the wreckage and put me in an orphanage. I never told him my name. I never told him about the Cessna. He told me once, before I left the Turks, that he knew I would be an excellent Turk because I'd never shown any signs of remorse. I'd saw a problem and solved it. The collateral damage was just that, collateral damage. Regrettable, but hardly something to lose sleep over.

I still don't regret what happened that day. I regret that I don't regret it. I've only told one person what happened that night, and he didn't care. In fact, he promised me that the whole world would one day burn but that he would "spare" me. I wondered if that still stood, but I didn't really have time to debate it. Inside my pocket, the materia heated up on its own volition, ready to lash out and burn everything to the ground. For the first time, I was afraid of the Cessna. I didn't want to burn everything. I just wanted . . .

The man knelt beside me. His cold fingers touched my neck. "Alive, I see," he said, voice low and deep. Familiar. Vincent Valentine. I opened my eyes, meeting his. His black hair framed his face like tendrils of darkness. I couldn't see his mouth. Couldn't read him at all. He stood up, clasping the sword's hilt with a hand encased in a golden gauntlet. "This will hurt." He pulled the blade out.

I hissed, teeth gritted. The summon materia cooled, threat gone. I wasn't trapped anymore.

Valentine knelt back down, pulling a potion and applying it to my shoulder. "You're not exactly the new Turk you let me think you were," he said. "Even a protégé Turk couldn't have taken out a SOLDIER four weeks out of training."

His fingers were too cold. It was like there was no circulation whatsoever. Still, they moved, kneading the potion into the depths of the wound. And he didn't smell like death. I was really regretting not looking him up sooner. He oozed mystery and danger.

Of course, it wasn't like I had time to figure him out now. I got to my feet slowly even though I wanted to fly back into my apartment and check on Luxeriere. But if I moved too fast, I would pass out. Then Valentine would be in control and who knows where I would end up.

To his everlasting credit, Valentine didn't try and stop me. He followed me into the building, up the stairs. The signs of our fight littered the hallway. Upstairs, Luxeriere stared sightlessly at the ceiling. Zack was sitting on the coffee table. "He said 'thanks,'" Zack said, voice tight. "He wanted to tell you that – that—that . . . he was sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

Zack shook his head, mute.

I moved further into the room, closing Luxeriere's eyes with one hand. "He was a good man," I said. "I'm sorry I couldn't save him."

"Not your job to save people, Cissnei," Zack said, standing. He looked at me, his blue eyes fathomless. "You didn't have to save me either, you know. You couldn't have saved me anyway. I walked to my death because it was the only way out."

"You walked to your death because you didn't want to lose her," I said, unable to keep a note of bitterness from my voice. "You could have gone anywhere. There's a million places that you could have just vanished. You could have gone anywhere. Even the Shinra of back then wasn't omnipotent."

"You don't walk away from some things," Zack said, shaking his head. "If you care, you always go back. Moth to flame. It doesn't end good, Cissnei. Walk away." He vanished without another word.

Valentine moved further into the room, sweeping it with his crimson eyes. He didn't ask who I was speaking too. He picked up Luxeriere's PHS, scanning through the contents. "Do you recognize any of these names?" he asked. He started reading them out. I recognized all of them. All former SOLDIER. A smattering of Seconds and Thirds. And one First: Genesis Rhapsodes.

I sat on the couch beside Luxeriere's body and reached for my PHS. Then I remembered that I had lost it. I growled, jerking to my feet. Where had it flew off too?

Valentine stared at me for a long second. Then he handed me _my_ PHS. "It was in the stairwell," he said. "It didn't look like it had been here long."

Was that a note of disappointment in his tone? Because it sounded like he was less than impressed with me. I took the slim black handset without a word. Tseng had called twice. He messaged me that he was sending help. He gave me a number to contact. I dialed the number numbly. I heard the ringing of a PHS coming up the stairs. Whoever Tseng sent found us already. I hung up before he or she answered. "So, Valentine, what brings you to Midgar?" I asked. "And why did you ruin my shot?"

"I shot the target with the computer," he said. "I assumed it was the ringleader."

It was a good assumption, so I couldn't fault him. "They had a second team at Shinra HQ," I said. "I don't suppose you would play delivery boy and bring this to Tseng, would you?" I held up the portable computer.

"I'm not hurt," he said. "I'll check out HQ." He glanced toward the door, and I swear, he smiled. I know that with his stupid high collar it was impossible to prove. But that's what happened.

The backup Tseng sent had reached the hallway. I decided, based on the footfall, that it was a man. Seconds later that guess was validated when he stepped through the door. Even in the dark there was no mistaking those mako blues and that spiky blond hair. "Hey, Cloud," I said. "Don't you run a delivery service?"

Cloud's eyes swept the room. He gave a slight nod to Valentine who returned it with a slight nod of his own. "Hey Cissnei," he said. "Tseng said you needed help." His eyes fell onto the body on the couch.

"That's correct," I said, stepping between him and Luxeriere's body. I started to hand him the computer.

"Do you trust him so readily?" Valentine asked. "You do know that Cloud used to be a terrorist, right?"

I gave Valentine a sweet look. "Of course I know. I _am_ a Turk. Information is our specialty."

Valentine inclined his head slightly. "Just checking. You don't seem like you're quite up to speed with Company policy."

Screw company policy. We were in the middle of a campaign against Genesis. And since I was in the field, I got the liberty of making judgment calls. Of course, if you wait too long to make a call, sometimes the call gets made without you. Valentine filled Cloud in on the situation with a twenty-word synopsis.

Cloud pulled his sword from his low slung holster and changed a few materia. "All right, so HQ it is. Are you coming Cissnei?"

"Yeah, I'm coming," I said. The two men left the room without another word. I lingered for a second. Luxeriere looked peaceful. I laid a kiss on his forehead. "Sorry I couldn't get you out alive," I whispered. "You don't have to be sorry about anything."

When I turned to leave, Valentine was standing in the doorway, staring wordlessly. I brushed past him without a word. What would he understand about losing people you didn't even know mattered?

**Author's Note:** Just an FYI – this ties in with my short story _Monsters in the Slums_ – but you don't have to read that to understand this. It's just bits and pieces of Cissnei's past that I've been trying to tie together. Plus it'll make for an interesting confrontation with Genesis later.

Also, for those waiting for Vincent's reappearance, I hope I didn't disappoint. He's a tricky character to write for me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen: Restless Sleep **

I had a life in the Shinra building. I knew the weave to the lobby carpet. I knew the people who worked the reception desks. I'd spent hours racing Reno up and down the stairs to the elevators on the second level. I had a collection of plushie toys from the gift shop. One for each year that Reno and I had worked in the same unit.

The lobby didn't look the same anymore. In fact, it was so beat up and wasted that we had to enter through a service shaft and climb seven floors worth of ladder. Fortunately I knew where the interlopers had been downloading from. Unfortunately it was on the top floor. And double unfortunately, I had cut the damn power.

Valentine was a machine once we reached the back stairs. He charged up, gun at the ready, slingshoting around corners. Cloud seemed to have inherited Zack's energy, and even though he _acted_ like some shy country boy, he took on the stairs like a pro.

I won't say keeping up was easy. The part of me that was ultracompetitive pushed me. By the time we reached the locked floors, I was thankful for the chance to catch the boys. Except Cloud apparently had an all access passkey from when he broke into the building and out of jail several years ago. I would have thought Tseng would have buttoned that particular security lapse down, but apparently not.

So I was red-faced and sweaty when we hit the top. Valentine nodded to me. He looked as implacably cool as ever. Cloud looked concerned. I waived the blond down and pulled my shuriken. "I recover quick," I said between short breaths.

"Take a moment then," Valentine said.

I shook my head. "I'll catch up."

Valentine nodded and vanished, his red cloak snapping as if in a stiff breeze as he turned. Cloud was going to wait, but I waived him to go ahead. Once both were gone, I headed in the other direction, keying open a secret passage that former-President Shinra had installed to entertain women. Rufus had used it to try and ditch me once while I was stuck babysitting him.

I entered a dusty bedroom. The bed was enormous and covered in gauzy red curtains. I ignored it and headed for the security station. There was a backup generator in the room. I turned it on using the code Rufus had snitched from his old man.

The station powered up. On screen I could see Valentine and Cloud having a look around. There were definite signs that someone had been there. I rewound the tape until the people became clear. I didn't recognize any of the SOLDIERs by name, but the faces were familiar. More alarming were the man and woman wearing the old, black Turks uniforms. I recognized the woman as Gun. The man I had never seen before. As they downloaded the files, Gun and the man kept watch. Then the power went out.

I copied the footage onto a disk and tucked it inside my jacket pocket, then went to see what the boys had found.

..

Three hours later we were back in Edge. I took my motorcycle. Cloud took his. I wanted to trade because his was custom and much, much better than mine. But I didn't broach the subject. Back in Edge, I made a beeline for the new Shinra HQ. Cloud and Valentine came along reluctantly because I hadn't been inclined to share any info with them and Valentine could tell that I had info.

The security guard glowered at me – he'd never gotten over me strolling past him when I first returned. He _demanded_ I show him my passkey. He waived Cloud and Valentine ahead without even batting an eyelash. Some men are jerks.

Tseng quirked an eyebrow at the men when we arrived in his office. He initially made an effort not to look at me, but when he did, his eyes narrowed. "Cissnei, are you bleeding on my carpet?"

"Er, not that I'm aware of, sir," I said. Even as I said it, I realized that my fight with Stormbanks hadn't exactly left me in tiptop shape. The potion Valentine gave me helped, but the wound had reopened on the drive over. Blood trickled down my side, oozing from my shoulder.

Tseng stood up. "One moment," he said to the men. He caught me by my elbow and escorted me from the room. "I'm just going to deposit her on the medical floor with an emergency care doctor." He took me toward the elevators, but ducked us into an office just before we got there. He pulled a green Full-Cure materia from his jacket, quirking an eyebrow at me. "Well?"

I bit the inside of my bottom lip. "They have Reno and Rude."

He nodded. "I got your message. It'll be more difficult without them." There was a flash of soft light as his spell hit me. For all his hard edged violent tendencies and cold, cold calculating intellect, Tseng was the best healer I knew. His spell felt like spring in Costa Del Sol, before the rush and sweat and sand of summer. I stopped bleeding and sighed at the sudden absence of pain.

"They have Gun too," I said. I handed him the flat silver surveillance disc and the portable computer I'd retrieved from Luxeriere.

Tseng accepted both. "You'll need to get some rest, Cissnei. I'll deal with Cloud and Vincent. In the morning, you'll head to Cosmo Canyon. With some luck, you won't be going alone."

"I'll find Genesis," I promised.

Tseng shook his head. "Forget him. I need Reno and Rude back. If they're alive, bring them in. If they're dead . . ." his voice trailed off. "Well, I'll leave it to your discretion to give them a proper sendoff. And to deal with the responsible party or parties."

"A rescue mission? Is that really a good idea –"

Tseng's arm snapped out, slapping the wall beside my head. He stepped in close, eyes flashing in the dimly lit office. "Cissnei, I do believe that I am the Director of the Turks. And in order to be director, I need Turks to direct. Can you follow orders?"

I swallowed hard, nodding jerkily.

"Good." He brushed a strand of my hair away from my eyes. He stared at me, wheels turning in his head. "With the Turks, the mission always comes first," he said. "But I choose to be compromised on this issue. Reno and Rude are my friends. I don't have enough friends to leave them for dead."

"Tseng –"

"What I'm saying, Cissnei, is go home. Sleep. I need you to bring back my aces." He tapped the tip of my nose. "That's the number one priority. I'll give you the rest in the morning." He left without another word.

At home I showered and then slipped into bed. I wished that Reno's scent still lingered in my sheets, but it had been too long. On my back, I stared up at the ceiling, thoughts swirling. This wasn't the world that I knew anymore. The Turks weren't the same ruthless cut-throats we once had been. We were something new. It wasn't just a wardrobe change. When I joined the Turks, we left people behind to be tortured or killed. The mission was always first.

If my orders were to find Genesis and scout for information, I would have looked for information in the places Reno and Rude were likely to be. But now I didn't have to manipulate the reasons behind my actions. Now, in this new era of the Turks, I could save my friends.

Except . . . I'd had this mission before. _Bring him back alive, Cissnei_, Tseng had said. When I found Zack, he wasn't alive. He was dead. I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't fail this time. I just couldn't.

Sleep didn't come easy, and when it did, it wasn't restful. I dreamed about Zack and Reno and Rude. All of them stared at me with dead eyes. You failed me, they said. I tried to apologize, but they turned, one by one, and faded, leaving me to wake up, gasping for air, drenched in sweat.

In the morning, Tseng sent Elena by to brief me on the mission. She still didn't look pregnant, but she did look miserable. Hard to believe she was going to have Tseng's child. I shelved that thought for another day.

Tseng had ordered her into civilian clothes. She was wearing purple leggings and a long grey sweater with a black belt. Her blond hair was hidden by a stylish feathered hat. "He doesn't want Genesis's people making a play for me while I'm like I am," she explained.

"You're still grounded then?"

She nodded. Her blue eyes looked fierce. "Rude's okay, but Reno's a dick," she said. "But I still want both of them back. Don't screw up."

I wasn't making any promises. If I screwed up, Tseng was going to be down three Turks because I would not walk away and I would probably not live through the revenge process.

"Genesis downloaded all the profiles for the SOLDIERS. Tseng's not sure what for, but I guess that's what we get to figure out later," Elena said. She pulled a sleek Chimera handgun from a purse. "He told me that your gun was destroyed, so you can use mine. It's heavier than most, but it's plated in Damascus steel."

"Like Sephiroth's sword?"

"Yeah," she said. "It'll stop just about anything. It loads like a charm too and doesn't have too much kick. It's mostly for midrange shots, but you can attach different barrels." She pulled a case out and showed me her other barrels. "Takes regular bullets," she added. "It was a gift from Rude after we survived Meteor."

"He's very thoughtful."

"He is," she said.

I accepted the gun. It was cool and fit my small hand well. "I'll bring them back," I said. I tightened my tie and started for the door.

"Yeah, well, I don't envy you your mission," Elena said. "Vincent gives me the creeps. I swear he's secretly dead and doesn't have a heartbeat."

"Vincent?"

"Yeah, he's your partner for this mission. He told Tseng that he would temporarily rejoin the Turks. He's concerned about what's going on."

"I thought he was a loner."

She shrugged. "I don't particularly care for him, but he did save me and Tseng from the remnants. And he did heal Tseng at the Temple of the Ancients after Sephiroth messed him up. Tseng said he's still a Turk – always has been – but I don't know. Like I said, I think he's dead, so there's that."

I nodded like I understood. I think I was starting to get it.

Elena chewed on her thumb. "Tseng thinks you intrigue him," she said finally. "That's why he's taking the mission with you. So you should watch yourself."

"Does he know we're going to get our guys back?"

"No. Just info on Genesis and the base out by Cosmo Canyon," she said. Her PHS rang. "That'll be Tseng." She lifted the phone, but before she pushed TALK, she put her hand on my shoulder. "Be safe."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen: Airship**

I had been to Cosmo Canyon once. It was just after Zack had died and I had fled the Turks and Shinra in a daze. I think I was going to Gongaga, but somewhere along the way I got lost. I had ended up in the massive canyon, coated in a fine red dust, staring at a sky as blue as Zack's eyes. There was something hypnotizing about the way the flame danced in the center of the . . . well, town, for lack of a better word. I probably would have stayed there forever if they had stronger liquor.

But I'm getting sidetracked. The point is that I knew what a hassle it was to get there. I anticipated a helicopter to Junon, a cargo ship to Costa Del Sol, and then a helicopter to the Gold Saucer for refueling before finally flying over the desert. Instead we went via airship.

The pilot was a grizzled blond man, prematurely aged by cigarettes, liquor, and manual labor. He chewed on a toothpick and flashed a crooked smile at Valentine. "How the hell you been?" he said, voice gravelly. He swaggered forward, clasping Valentine's unclawed hand and then drawing him into a brief back-thumping hug. Then he turned his small blue eyes to me. "So you're the new Turk, eh? Not much to look at."

"I'm not a damn showgirl at the Honey Bee," I said, giving him an angelic smile. "So I don't have to be much to look at."

He grunted, almost smiling in spite of himself. Instead he grumbled something about me not touching anything on his ship. He didn't bother introducing himself, but I knew who he was: Cid Highwind. Once, a long time ago, he'd been Shinra's top pilot. I'd always been secretly hoping to meet him because I heard he loved to fly.

It never happened and by now I was too tired to be inspired by flight. I'd been certified as a helicopter pilot for years now. It wasn't the special, liberating flight I'd dreamed of as a child. To be that free, I needed wings.

"Something wrong?" Valentine asked, somehow moving shadow-silent behind me.

I shook my head and boarded the airship. Maybe I couldn't fly, but that didn't mean I couldn't get off the ground. Highwind hollered to a teenage boy with dirty brown hair and grease stains on his blue overalls. "Take Miss Turk to the conference room by the stables."

I arched an eyebrow.

Highwind gave me a wolfish smirk. "What? You thought I'd just let you strut about my ship like you own the goddamn thing?" He shook his head. "Well, you thought wrong. You're not wondering about and I ain't about to let you on the bridge."

The boy stared at me with large, doe-like brown eyes. "This way," he said.

I shrugged. "Fine by me." I followed him, stealing a last glance over my shoulder at Highwind and Valentine as they headed to the bridge. If I didn't know better, I would think Highwind was worried I was going to steal his technology and give it to Shinra. Nevermind that he stole the technology when he stole the prototype airship from the Junon Airport.

The boy took me to a small conference that smelled of chocobo and didn't have any windows. How depressing. I could feel the rumble of the engines, thrumming under the metal floor. We were probably soaring through the clouds right about now. I eased into a chair, letting my eyes flutter shut.

For a while nothing happened. I listened to the ship fly. I tried not to think about Reno and Rude. I could feel the weight of Elena's handgun under my arm, snug in its holster. I could see the cold fire in Tseng's eyes as he told me to bring them back alive. I could smell the scent of blood and death like a faint perfume seeping from my mind.

"Cissnei?"

I opened my eyes. Zack had appeared. He offered me a half smile that made the tips of my toes curl. He always made me feel better on the worst days, the worst moments. "Hey you," I said. "I was starting to think that you were mad at me."

He shook his head. "Just . . . worried." The skin between his eyes was pinched, forehead furrowed.

"What are you worried about?"

He shrugged and started doing squats. The rhythmic motion seemed to quell his nerves. I could see the tension leaking from his muscles, the frown melting from his face. He didn't talk to me, but that was okay. Both of us had too many thoughts swirling around.

I think I might have just let him keep exercising forever, but a little voice nagged at the back of my mind. He had been able to see what was happening with Luxiere while I was fighting Stormbanks. That meant he existed independent of me. He wasn't just my imagination. Which meant he might be able to help. But could I ask? Reno and Zack hadn't exactly liked each other.

Zack stopped his squats. "What?" he asked, his body suddenly tense and alert. "What is it, Cissnei?"

I brushed imaginary dirt from my pants. "Are you . . . real?" I asked. I meant to ask him if he could check on Rude. He hadn't had much to say to Rude, so it wouldn't be as awkward to ask. Why had I asked if he was real?

"Real?" He looked at his hands. "Of course I'm real. Why wouldn't I be real, Cissnei?"

I looked at my fingernails. One of the nails had broken in the middle. Others were scuffed and gritty, with dirt embedded beneath the tarnished surfaces. Even though Aeris had worked with the flowers and the dirt, her nails had always gleamed. I picked at the dirt and didn't answer Zack's question.

"I'm real," he said. His voice was a bit too loud, like he hadn't considered his own reality before. "Okay?"

I stuck my thumbnail in my mouth, biting gently.

"Okay, Cissnei?" His voice rose an octave. "Okay?"

I finally looked up. "Okay."

Silence descended, except for the hum of the engines. "Could you do me a favor?" I asked softly. "Rude . . . they took him and Reno."

"I can't save them," Zack said. He punched the wall, fist ringing hollowly against the metal. "I'm just a – something. Something that can't help anyone. I couldn't even save Luxiere. He had a goddamn elixir right there in his hand and I couldn't even –" He cut himself off, shaking his head. "He was a friend, Cissnei, and I couldn't' do anything."

I inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Just . . . can you tell me if they're alright? Alive? Tortured?" I took another deep breath. "Dead if that's the case."

Zack scratched the back of his head, expression becoming somewhat thoughtful. "I don't know. I can try, but honestly, when I'm around certain people everything is just clearer."

"Clearer?"

"Yeah, like the lines aren't blurred out. Most of the time it's like everything is tilting, spinning out of control. I'll catch snatches of conversation, images of people, monsters, places. Random smells. Then I'll see you and the room stops spinning. You catch me."

My throat tightened. What did that mean?

The door to the room opened. It passed right through Zack. Then Valentine strolled through Zack, the crimson of his cloak overwhelming Zack's visage. Zack vanished, leaving me alone with the temporary Turk. Or was he still a Turk? It was confusing at best.

"Valentine –"

"Vincent," he said.

"Vincent."

He turned. "Come on up to the bridge. We're getting ready to land, but Cid wanted to fly over the canyon first and see if we can spot anything from the air." He started walking away, but stopped. "Were you talking to . . . nevermind. It doesn't matter." He started walking again and when I didn't start following immediately, he paused. "Are you coming?"

"Certainly," I said. "Let's go find Genesis, shall we?" _And more importantly: Reno and Rude_.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen: Through the Canyon**

Needless to say, it wasn't as easy as flying over Cosmo Canyon and suddenly spotting Genesis's headquarters. We saw a lot of nothing and then landed in a grassy field just beyond the red dirt of the canyon. From there we set out on foot for the village in the heart of the canyon. The local wildlife gave us wide berth, which was somewhat unusual, but it made the trip easier.

Highwind had decided to come along and visit "ole Red," whoever that was. He talked to Vincent on and off about their mutual friends. Vincent would politely grunt or murmur a response on occasion. The rest of the time, Highwind kicked up red dust, chain-smoking and cursing under his breath.

As the sun set, the white clouds were stained with reds, oranges, and pinks. I wondered what Aeris would have thought of the sunset, and must have gotten lost in the thought because I didn't realize how far ahead Highwind had gotten and how close Vincent was.

"We should keep moving," the ex-Turk said.

I blinked, focusing in on him. His pale skin seemed to repel the red dirt. His crimson eyes caught the colors of the sky, adding fire to his cold gaze. I decided that talking to Vincent was really a waste of time, so I started walking again, but he caught my elbow. "Yes?"

"Why did you go back?"

I quirked an eyebrow.

"You left the Turks before the old President died."

"A lot of Turks left," I said. I put my innocent face on, not letting my irritation show. How did he know that I'd left the Turks? Tseng most certainly hadn't told him. That meant he investigated me. I probably wouldn't have been so irritated if I'd actually gotten around to investigating him.

Vincent nodded slightly. "Yes, but you left after the dust settled from Veld."

I ghosted my fingers through my hair. "I'm impressed," I said. "You did your homework."

"I used to be a Turk."

"Yes, well, there's no such thing as an ex-Turk."

"There can be," Vincent said. "After everything that happened, I can't imagine returning to Shinra. How could you?"

"I don't cling to the ghosts of my past," I said. "What I am now is because of what I was before. Everything that I will ever do is tied to being a Turk. It's in my blood, my soul. I honestly don't know how I stayed gone for so long." Sadly, besides the first bit, everything was pretty much true.

Vincent didn't look pleased with my answer, but instead of challenging it, he shrugged and walked away. His long legs carried him towards Highwind, leaving me to catch up. I followed.

Instead of dwelling on the conversation, I swept the landscape with my eyes, looking for the telltale signs that an army had come through. I didn't see anything and when I caught up to Highwind and Vincent they were talking about me in hushed tones, which died to nothing.

I brushed past them, taking point. Nightfall in the canyons creeps out from the canyon walls, the darkness overtaking the light. So even though the sun still blazed like fire in the sky, I could already feel the chill of the desert seeping through my blouse and blazer.

Up ahead, I could just make out the red glow of Cosmo Canyon's village. We were close now. I kept going until we were less than a quarter mile away, and then stopped. Zack stood in front of me. "You're gonna spook Genesis's people in the village dressed like that, you know."

I frowned. I hadn't thought about that. Turks weren't exactly known for our discreetness when in full uniform.

"Sumthin' wrong?" Highwind asked, spitting out a cigarette butt, inserting a new one and lighting it.

"My clothes."

Highwind rolled his beady blues. "A little dirt ain't gonna kill you."

"That's not the problem." I unbuttoned my jacket and pulled it off. I took the tie off next and folded both into my backpack. "The problem is I look like what I am." I took off my blouse, thankful that I had worn a sports bra instead of a regular black satin bra. I put the blouse in my bag along with my shoulder holster. I left the holster for my shuriken strapped to my right wrist. Then I tied my hair up into a high, messy ponytail. The pants and shoes were unavoidable, but hopefully with my midriff bared, no one was going to be saying that I was dressed in Turks standard issue pants and shoes.

Vincent's long cold fingers brushed across my left shoulder. I looked at him and he retracted his hand, murmuring an apology.

Highwind leaned back, staring at my shoulder. "All you damn Turks got tattoos?"

"Like I'd tell," I said. The tattoo on my shoulder was a shower of four gold stars. I'd gotten it after Zack had disappeared in Nibelhiem. He always said I was his lucky star and I got one star every year that he was gone. I wanted to burn out my luck and somehow give it to him, but I guess that didn't work. I slung my backpack on and started walking again. "Come on, let's see what town has to show for itself."

Zack fell into step beside me. "You got inked, Cissnei?" he whispered.

I nodded slightly, unwilling to vocalize with Vincent and Highwind this close.

"Wow, I guess I never thought of you like that. You always seemed so pure to me."

"Pure?" I blurted out, unable to stop myself. How the hell had Zack saw me as pure? And how did a tattoo make me less pure?

"What's that?" Highwind asked. "Pure? What the hell do you mean? Pure?"

"N-nothing," I said. I quickened my pace.

"Sorry," Zack whispered.

I stole a glance at him, begging him with a look to tell me if he found anything out about Reno and Rude.

He missed the memo and instead of talking he mimed locking his lips and throwing the key away. So much for open information. I looked away in irritation and caught Vincent staring at me with knowing eyes. That irritated me almost as much as Zack's silence.

"Tell me," I said, directing my words to Zack.

Vincent arched an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Who? Me?" Zack asked, pointing at himself.

"Yeah you," I said, looking at Vincent. His eyes were scanning the spaces around me, trying to – I don't know – divine who I was really talking to?

"Right," Zack said, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, I thought I'd look around the village. I saw a couple of guys I knew from SOLDIER, but I didn't see any Turks. Then things started getting fuzzy, so I came to see you."

I exhaled. Okay. So no news on my co-workers, but at least there were bodies to interrogate in town. I made a mental note to ditch Vincent before I started any interrogations. Oh, and to ditch Zack too. If he thought I was pure there was no need to show him the blood and pain filled truth.

Highwind stared at me for several minutes and then just shook his head and started walking. "You know what I figure," he said to Vincent. "You either get the hell out of Shinra while you still know the difference 'tween reality and fantasy, or you stay so goddamn long that you think it's normal to talk to your damn self."

"Is that so?" Vincent asked.

"Yep," Highwind said.

"I know the difference between reality and fantasy," I said. "Reality is life without liquor and fantasy is life with a bottle of whiskey." I smiled sweetly and started walking. Once I was a good distance ahead of the men, I risked talking to Zack again. "Do you think I look okay?"

"You're beautiful," Zack said.

My throat tightened. "Yes, but do I look like a Turk?"

"Well, I think you could pass as a ninja," Zack said after careful inspection. "I knew this one ninja girl and she barely wears anything these days. Sometimes I see her strutting around in spanky-shorts and fishnets."

"That'll have to do," I said. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a pack of desert shanigans approaching. I flexed my wrist downward and my shuriken launched from its wrist holster into my hand, expanding into its full size. I flung the weapon, neatly decapitating the leader.

Behind me, Highwind lit a stick of dynamite with his cigarette. How sad. The resulting explosion ended the fight. Vincent stepped between me and the blast, shielding me from the brunt of it. "Cissnei," he said, my name awkward on his lips. "It isn't my business, but I have some advice for you."

I looked up at him. He was as tall as Zack, but unlike Zack there was no bubble to his personality at all. "I don't want your advice –"

"Let it go," he said, overriding my protest. "Whoever or whatever you're clinging to. Let it go. Whoever you see when you close your eyes. Whoever you failed. Whatever sins you carry forward from you past into your future. Let them go. It's okay to live."

"I'm not giving him up," I snapped.

Vincent frowned. "Who was he?"

"His name," I said, voice getting a bit louder than I wanted. I took a deep breath and then let it out. "His name is none of your business. Your advice is _noted_." I turned away from him again and didn't stop walking until I reached the stone gates to Cosmo Canyon.

There was a man with a blue headband guarding the entrance. He beamed at me. "Hello missy!"

"Hiya," I said, waving for good measure. "I'm Star! I'm here to study the Planet." It was the first lie that sprang to mind.

The guy grinned at me and then gave me an appreciative once over. Oh yeah, Zack was right. Coming as a not-Turk was a good idea. I batted my eyes at him and suggested he meet me sometime for drinks. He let me in without checking my ID. Not that that was that surprising. Cosmo Canyon wasn't exactly known for its security.

I didn't wait for Vincent and Highwind after I was in. Instead I headed toward the Hotel. I requested a room, took the key, and headed up the stairs. As I reached the top, a door opened and the last person I expected to see stepped out. His eyes widened when he saw me. I swore. So much for being lucky.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen: Obsession**

Don't judge me. It is the lifestyle of a Turk. Lasting relationships – the ones with meaning – fall apart like glass shattered by a rain of bullets. The stupid ones let themselves fall into the trap of emotions and then, before they know what's happening, they're compromised. Like Veld and his daughter.

Apparently I was one of the stupid ones. I'd let myself fall for Zack. But at the same time it wasn't like I was some blushing virgin the first time I'd seen him. And I hadn't slipped on a chastity belt the second after I met him either. I'd had my fair share of meaningless flings. I hardly remembered most of the men. Genesis Rhapsodes was the exception.

I never should have slept with him. It had been after Angeal Hewley's death. Zack was screwed up emotionally, sitting in Aeris's church with a vacant expression. I was drinking in the slums. Genesis had followed me home and I was too sick and tired to fight, so I played vixen instead and took him to bed. It hadn't meant anything to me. And I was off duty, so it didn't matter that I slept with the enemy. I hadn't been studying him at the time or else I probably wouldn't have slept with him at all.

See, one thing I'd learned about Genesis during my recent review of his files – he's obsessive. His vibrant turquoise blue eyes widened when he saw me, recognition immediate. His lips curved into a smile and he extended one gloved hand toward me. "_There is no hate, only joy. For you are beloved by the goddess_," he quoted.

It was from LOVELESS, Act II. "Commander Rhapsodes," I said softly. "Don't you have an original thought in your head? LOVELESS again?" I deliberately placed my hands on my hips in what I hoped was a don't-bother-me-I'm-not-dangerous look.

"I'm simply happy to see you," he said. "I have thought of you often. When I came back and heard you were no longer with the Company, I feared the worst, but was satisfied that you had gotten out." His smile crumbled. "Then Kunsel tells me you're in full uniform in Edge. Imagine my surprise."

"I'm imagining it," I said. "Just as you must imagine my surprise seeing you in Snowed Inn. What have you been up to?"

His interest perked at that, but he didn't answer my question. "You saw me on the Northern Continent? What were you doing there?"

"I was retired," I said. It wasn't really the truth, but it was close enough. "How about yourself?"

"Getting a sample," he said. "What brought you out of retirement?"

"You."

"Me?"

"You tend to be . . . dangerous."

"Thank you for recognizing that," he said. He turned and unlocked the door he had just stepped through. "Please, come in. I'll get you a glass of wine. Sadly I don't have anything stronger. I seem to recall you like whiskey."

"I'm trying to quit drinking," I lied. "But I suppose a glass won't hurt anything." I stepped into his hotel room. It was like any other hotel room I'd ever been in. Three beds with matching gold bedspreads. Three bedside tables with generic lamps. Genesis's bed was by the window. A single purple apple sat on the bedside table. Genesis was obsessed with dumbapples.

Genesis closed the door behind me, locking it. He leaned against the door, arms crossed lightly across his chest. "I forgot how small you are."

I glanced back at him, letting a false smile tug at the corners of my mouth. "Small?"

"Petite."

"Oh, I see." I glanced him up and down. "You look . . ." He looked worn at the edges, like a rope just beginning to fray. But besides that, he looked wholesome with auburn hair and smooth, unlined skin. That didn't bode well. A degraded Genesis meant a slower more killable Genesis. A disease free Genesis was . . . unfortunate. He strolled toward me. His motions were smooth, unhampered by degradation. I cleared my throat. "You look better."

He laughed, the sound hollow, empty of true mirth. "Thank you for saying so. I am _temporarily_ improved, but I can feel the degradation kicking back in. While I was in Deepground I was in a regeneration bubble. Do you know what that is like?"

"No."

"Tedious. You're conscious the entire time, but you can't move, stand, stretch, or talk. Nothing. I slept for some time. I dreamed on occasion. Mostly I debated what I was going to do when I got out. What opportunities I was going to take during my window of health."

I didn't say anything. His eyes fixated on mine, nearly unblinking as he described his ordeal in the regeneration bubble. There was something unstable about him. He'd always been slightly off, but now it was more pronounced. Finally I exhaled. "You promised wine?"

"Of course." He busied himself getting two delicate crystal glasses and an unopened bottle of dumbapple wine. He popped the cork, swirling the bottle gently before pouring two full glasses. He handed me one and I took a small sip.

Ever since Shinra burned Banora to the ground, dumbapples have been hard to come by. The wine was exceedingly expensive and sought after. I personally thought it was overly sweet and syrupy. I closed my eyes, letting the sweetness linger on my tongue before swallowing. "Excellent," I lied.

"I thought you might enjoy it," Genesis said. His teeth flashed white. He took a long swallow from his glass.

Truth be told, I could kill Genesis. But never in a fair fight. Fortunately, I was old school Turk and a girl without an ego. If I had a chance to take him out, I would take it. But now wasn't that chance. I would play him for information first.

I sipped my too-sweet wine, schooling my features into pleasure. I didn't even have to imagine anything pleasant. It was one of the reasons I had hated being a Turk. I had a sweet, pleasant face. And smiling came naturally to me even when I had nothing to smile about. It meant I got to lie to a lot of people about a lot of different things.

Of course, lying to Genesis was different. He was an accomplished actor himself. I still counted myself with the advantage though. I lied for a living most of my life. He lied for acting awards as a child and then joined SOLDIER.

I went to the window and stared into the canyon town. Highwind and Vincent had arrived and were talking with the feline-wolf creature from the bar in Junon. For the life of me I couldn't remember his name, only that he had a deep voice and was exceedingly polite.

"I feel as if you're ignoring me," Genesis noted after a while. He reached me, placing a gloved hand on my shoulder and turning me to face him. _"The wandering soul knows no rest."_ Behind him I could see Zack roll his eyes.

"I'm working right now," I said softly. "And I'm not a wandering soul." I licked my lips, debating whether I should try and steer the conversation or whether he would stumble into the topics I wanted to address without encouragement.

Genesis tilted my chin up, searching my eyes intently. Then he kissed me. Softly on the lips. I didn't resist. His kiss tasted of summer. I closed my eyes, trying to feel something other than irritation at his sign of affection. He deepened the kiss, tongue slipping into my mouth. I remained passive, still under his expert touch. His hands twined in my hair. I sighed finally, relaxing my body against his and letting my fingers rest on the swell of his hips.

Then it was over. He stepped back, smiling slightly. "I don't think I like it when you work," he said. "You're like Sephiroth. Too serious and reluctant."

Genesis and Sephiroth had not been friends in the end.

"Sephiroth is dead," I said. "And unlike you, he wasn't even beaten by a SOLDIER. Just a trooper exposed to mako."

"Yes, well," Genesis said. "Dead is rather relative when you really think about it. Wasn't he dead in the end? Dead and defeated before he was defeated?"

"I suppose," I said. I didn't know all the details. I sat down on the edge of the bed. "He was at the Northern Crater eventually, wasn't he? Are you going to clone him?" I was fishing for information. He'd said he'd gone to Northern Continent to get a sample. It had to be either Sephiroth or Jenova, right?

"How did you know?" Genesis asked, eyes narrowing.

I looked at him, letting genuine surprise color my features. "You're cloning him?"

He shrugged. "In a manner of speaking."

"Why would you do that?"

Genesis stepped to the window, gazing out. "Cissnei, you're on duty," he said. "I can't just tell you everything now."

"That's fair," I said. "I can't see why you'd want Sephiroth back though. He's dead and should stay dead. When he was alive he was overrated and arrogant."

"You thought he was overrated?" Genesis sounded pleased.

"As far as SOLDIER was concerned he could do the job well enough. As far as him being a man, I would say he was a complete failure. He couldn't socialize. He had no hobbies. He had no life. Hell, he couldn't even drink in public."

"I hadn't thought of it that way," Genesis said. "His only real talent was swordplay." He placed a hand on the window. "But I don't particularly care to talk about him. Let's talk about what's going to happen with us."

"Nothing," I said. "There is no _us_." I finished my wine and poured myself another glass.

"I'm sorry, Cissnei," he said. _"All that awaits you is a somber morrow; No matter where the winds may blow."_

More LOVELESS. "Are you going to kill me?" I asked. "Is that what you mean by that particular line?"

"I'd rather you come with me willingly."

"But if I refuse, then you'll take me by force?"

He inclined his head slightly.

"Did you give Reno and Rude the same option? Come quietly or come by force?"

"Reno and Rude?" Genesis repeated, brow furrowed. "Who are – oh, you mean your less attractive co-workers, don't you. The wiry redhead and the bald brute." He topped my wine glass off and then filled his glass again. "No. They didn't get any option. Why would they get an option?"

"Where are they?" I asked. It was a bit too straightforward, but I could learn a lot from even a carelessly spoken word.

Genesis brushed his hands through his auburn hair. "Why ask about them? Do they matter to you?"

"Well, since you have them, I'm afraid I can't come quietly. Tseng wouldn't like it if he was down three Turks."

"Tseng? I think he dug up my parents' grave," Genesis said. "And then ordered Banora destroyed. My hometown. My parents. I don't think I care what Tseng would like and what Tseng wouldn't like."

"You killed your parents," I said. "And the villagers. He just cleaned up your mess." I drained my wine glass for a break in the conversation and then stood up and stepped into his arms, dropping the glass to the floor. It shattered on impact. I kissed his lips, standing on tiptoe. Somewhere behind me, Zack squeaked in surprise. I focused on kissing Genesis, the feel of his lips, the beat of his heart. When I broke the kiss I tried to step back, but he caught my arms holding me firmly.

He moved to kiss me again, but I turned my head. "Where are Reno and Rude?"

Genesis swore. "Does it matter?"

"Clearly," I said. His lips were on my cheek. "Tell me what I want to know, Genesis." I forced my voice into a breathy whisper that promised _I-want-you_.

"The bald one is in a cell. The redhead is most likely dead."

"Most likely?"

"One of _my_ Turks stabbed him in the stomach before he jumped off a cliff. It looked like some wild animal dragged his corpse away before my people got there."

That didn't sound good, but I couldn't' let emotion get in the way. "When a Turk works against the Company they're not really a Turk anymore," I said. "They're a traitor. Who is _your_ Turk?"

"I would have you," he said.

"I'm gonna have to resist," I said. "Tseng would want –"

Genesis growled, stepping away from me. He pulled out a shiny red PHS and dialed a number. He held the screen so I couldn't see the number, but Zack read it out as he dialed. "He's calling Kunsel," he said after a second.

"What do you have to say to Kunsel?"

Genesis jerked his head towards me, scowling. "How did you know –" He cut himself off, shifting the conversation to Kunsel, who was on speakerphone. "I need you to take the bald Turk and let him go."

"What?" Kunsel said.

"Let him go. Alive. Unharmed. Then leave town."

"Okay," Kunsel said after a second. For a few minutes I could hear him moving, then the sound of heavy door opening. "It's your lucky day," he said. "You get to go."

If Rude was there, he didn't answer.

"Say something, Cissnei," Genesis said.

"Cissnei?" Rude asked. His voice was rough.

There was more shuffling. I heard a door open and then the bustle of the street. In the distance I could hear the sounds of Costa Del Sol, the boats, the streetside bands, the tourists. "Rude," I said. "Call if they really let you go."

Genesis muted the phone. "Now you can come without resistance." He looked pleased.

Zack flickered out of existence. I hesitated. It didn't seem like a genuine release. Zack reappeared. "Rude's fighting Kunsel and two other SOLDIERS: Hops and Lyle."

"I'll be resisting," I said.

Genesis's face flushed with anger. He lifted the PHS. "Kill him, Kunsel."

Cold fury swept through me. My first impulse – my only impulse really – was to draw Elena's gun and shoot his face until he didn't have a face anymore. My thoughts were a bit slower than my reflexes. I was just thinking about shooting him when my gun was out and I was pulling the trigger.

Genesis was jumping back, a barrier spell glimmering between my bullets and his body. He was smiling a wide, sharkish grin. He drew his red rapier, murmuring a spell to make its runes glow crimson. I could feel him start an offensive spell.

Who knows how the fight would have ended if I had continued. I don't think he would have killed me. Maybe he would have. I don't know. What I know is that Zack grabbed the Chimera from my fingers and flung it against the wall. He'd never physically interacted with me before. I focused on him. He was shaking his head. "You can't beat him." He looked scared for me. "Angeal told me he doesn't like fighting if there is no challenge. He should leave you unharmed if you're unarmed." He gazed at me, imploring me with his eyes not to continue the fight.

Then Genesis hit me with his spell. I think I expected Fire. Instead he hit me with sleep. My eyelids got heavy and I knew no more.

**Author's Note:** This scene gave me a lot of trouble. But I should be back to regular updates after this. Please let me know what you think about this one.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen: Flight and Fight**

The house that built me had a tree in the backyard, a massive oak with long, sturdy branches. When I was four or maybe five, my father took a couple of old boards and some bristled rope and made a tree swing for one of my older sisters. She was prissy thing though and the grit of being outside offended her.

Not me. I spent my summers and winters and springs and falls in the backyard. My goal was always the same: get higher. And then when I couldn't go higher: let go and try to fly. It never ended with a lasting flight. Instead I would release the swing, throwing my body forward, closing my eyes. For a precious few moments I would be sailing freely through the air, hair streaming behind me, wind brushing my face. Then the ground would race up, colliding with my feet and dragging my body to the dirt or snow or mud or leaves. I would lie still after every fall, staring up at the sky. Then I would get up and march back to the swaying swing. My chubby hands would clasp the bristled rope, slowing the swing until I could climb back on.

Then it would start again. I would pump my stubby legs vigorously, throwing my body into the back and forth of the swing. Until at last I would be ready to fly again. And crash. And fly. And crash and fly.

There was one time I didn't crash though. It was late February and the ground was hard with the chill of winter. Sleet stung my face as I manipulated the swing. When I let go, I soared. Then strong hands caught me, pulling me into a hug. "How's my little star?" my father asked. He set me down, ruffling my copper curls.

My thoughts are syrupy, thick with the effects of Genesis's sleep spell. A part of my brain rejects the memory of my father catching me mid-flight. I don't often remember him fondly and I don't like that this memory is surfacing. Of course, with my father a bad memory is never far off, and before I know it, I feel the sting of his hand against my cheek.

It jars images into my head. His face red with fury, eyes bloodshot from too much whiskey, spittle flying from the corners of his mouth as he curses at me. His hand crashed into my face again and pain exploded. I think I groaned. His hand flashed against my cheek again, leaving the skin hot and angry. I groaned again, forcing my eyes open.

But when they opened I didn't see my father's brown eyes. Instead I saw Cid Highwind's worn face, his small blue eyes searching my face for signs of consciousness. It was his hand, worn by labor and stained with grease that was poised to hit me again. Highwind grunted and turned away, muttering "about damn time" under his breath.

My fingers touched my cheek, feeling the heat radiating from the abused skin. It felt like he'd hit me over a dozen times, but I still felt groggy. Apparently Genesis packed one hell of a sleep spell. I scanned my surroundings. The red hue of the Central Flame cast shadows in the village of Cosmo Canyon. I was against a stone wall, legs kicked out in front of me. From the trail of dirt I could see that someone had half dragged me to where I was seated.

There was a fight going on. Genesis was on the central dais, his turquoise eyes glinting in the firelight. He held his red rapier in one hand and a glowing orb of Fire materia in the other. With practiced motions he flung a handful of fire spells towards Vincent.

Vincent's motions were fluid. He sprang out of the way, hitting the side of a building and spinning in mid-air. His gun tracked Genesis, spitting bullets at the former SOLDIER. His cloak swirled around him, almost organic in its movements. I briefly wondered if it was silk or satin, but then realized it just didn't matter.

Someplace to his left, I could see the wolf-feline creature from Junon (I still couldn't remember his name). He had a mythril comb in his mane and I could just make out the red glow of a summon materia. A summoning circle appeared around his paws.

There were others too. Genesis's SOLDIERs dressed in blue and purple. Their weapons and materia sought out Vincent and Highwind and the wolf-feline. Highwind had joined the fight seconds after rousing me. He spun his spear, deflecting a sword strike from one of the SOLDIERs and popping a hole in his attacker's shoulder.

All of that took seconds for me to take in. I surged to my feet. I didn't have any of my weapons and I was wearing a red silk dress that forcibly reminded me of the former Direct of Weapons Development, Scarlet. I refused to think about what happened to my clothes.

And anyway, that was an exaggeration. Not all my weapons were gone. I still had me. I rushed forward, somersaulting over Highwind, landing on his spear and using it as a springboard for kicking the SOLDIER in the face. Blood spurted from his nose. As he fell back, I forcefully relieved him of his sword.

It wasn't my preferred weapon, but it would do in a pinch.

The wolf-feline roared. "Everyone back!" His summoning circle glowed and the temperature dropped fifty degrees. A fine white snow drifted from the sky and a beautiful woman with iridescent blue skin appeared at the center of his circle. Her icy blue lips curved into a small smile and the temperature dropped further as she gathered her magics and sent her best attack, diamond dust, straight at Genesis.

Genesis didn't even hesitate. A summoning circle appeared in front of him and within moments the fire demon, Ifrit, raged into existence. He leapt forward, seizing Shiva in a bearhug. His fire blazed. There was a hissing sound like water evaporating on a hot stove. Shiva disintegrated, completely overwhelmed by Genesis's Ifrit. I didn't see her death because as she died a heavy, wet mist sprang up in the square.

I raced forward. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Nanaki – that was his name! – flinging his suddenly broken materia away. It wasn't every day a materia was defeated that completely. I could faintly remember Veld telling me that once in training Katana had summoned Choco/Mog on Tseng and that when Tseng defeated the poor cuddly summon, Katana's materia had broken in two, all of its energy dispersed by Tseng's calculating attacks.

I reached the center dais and leapt, ready to clash swords with Genesis. Before I landed, strong hands encircled my waist and tugged me back. I spun, meaning to fight, but Vincent's solemn gaze stopped me. I caught the scent of hellfire then, radiating out from where I had almost landed.

For a few seconds an inferno raged around us. Thick black smoke mingled with the mist of Shiva's death. "You okay?" Vincent asked. He had set me down and was reloading his gun.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I heard gunshots. Then I saw him taking you." He paused. "Did you want me to let them take you?" He cocked his head to the side, waiting for my answer.

I didn't answer. The smoke was clearing. The mist was gone. Would being captured have been that bad?

"I didn't think so," Vincent said at last. Then he was gone, leaping twenty feet into the air. Genesis staggered as a trio of bullets burst through his barrier spell and slammed into the shoulder he'd hurt fighting Sephiroth.

I kicked a SOLDIER in the knee as he lunged toward me, then shoved my sword into his heart. Don't know who he was. Don't care either. Tugging at the back of my mind was an undeniable truth. Vincent Valentine was still a Turk – even if he didn't know it. We weren't friends by any stretch of the imagination. And if friendship hadn't driven him to rescue me, then it was his sense of loyalty to the Turks. Because if I knew nothing else, I knew this: Vincent wasn't the type of person who went out of his way to save people.

Genesis caught sight of me and sighed. "_My friend, the fates are cruel_."

I flipped him off on impulse.

"Promises, promises," he said, blowing me a kiss. He didn't seem to see Vincent's foot coming toward his head. The golden boot slammed into the side of his face and he fell off the dais. His scowl destroyed any traces of sanity. With a snap, a single black wing extended from his back and he launched into the sky. Vincent followed.

The aerial battle was out of my reach, so I focused on the enemies on the ground. I killed another one of Genesis's SOLDIERs while he stared at his commander in awe. Then I was beside Highwind. "Give me your PHS," I demanded.

He handed it over without a word. Then started his own summoning spell. I personally thought it was useless seeing as how easily Genesis had combated the last summoning, but if he wanted to waste a materia, fine by me. I called Tseng.

He almost didn't answer. When he did, he didn't seem the least bit interested in conversation. "Cid."

"It's Cissnei," I said. "We found Genesis in Cosmo Canyon. Rude's in Costa Del Sol. Kunsel is trying to kill him. Reno escaped. They wrote him off for dead. He jumped off a cliff after getting stabbed."

Tseng was silent for a heartbeat. "Can you take him?" he asked.

My eyes flickered to the fight between Genesis and Vincent. Genesis was only just winning. But he was getting higher and higher. Black feathers fell like rain. "Not sure."

Highwind's summoning spell kicked in. The air grew dark. A warrior appeared, slashing through the air towards Genesis. The another warrior and another and another. My eyes felt over-wide. What the hell kind of summon was this? The tide of warriors seemed almost endless. I lost count at nine or ten. The last was cloaked in red. After his strike, Genesis fell from the sky. The ground rushed up to him.

For almost a minute, he lay there, motionless. A fallen angel.

"He's cloning Sephiroth," I said. "He got a sample from the Northern Continent." I eyed his motionless form and added, "He may be dead. Highwind hit him with one hell of a summon."

Zack stepped up beside me, hands clenched in fists. "He's not. He's laughing."

"Dead?" Tseng said. "Who?"

Genesis was laughing, I could see the slight movement of his chest. "Nevermind," I said. Genesis stood up, brushing dirt from his jacket. "We're not that lucky."

Genesis looked bemused. "Well, that was certainly impressive. Too bad you're summoning skills are so mediocre." He lifted his rapier and it glowed red as he dragged his hand against it. Then he stopped holding back on us.

"Cissnei?" Tseng asked, voice soft, not distracting at all except for the fact that it was his voice.

"He's not going to lose easily," I growled. We were all on defensive now. Genesis flung Fire materia everywhere. It exploded against those who couldn't dodge fast enough. And against the canyon walls, sending clouds of red dust everywhere.

"Take him out if you can," Tseng said. Then the line went dead. Typical Tseng. He wouldn't want to distract me.

Fact is, like I said earlier, I couldn't beat him in a fair fight. None of us could. And even fighting as dirty as we could, he had the upper hand. But that's okay because I think a dirty fight could exist in the future. I caught up to Vincent.

His eyes widened. "I didn't realize you could jump this high," he said before he could stop himself.

I grinned. We were both perched precariously on a thick wire running between one end of the canyon and another. "Yeah well, Tseng doesn't like it if we give all our secrets away too quick."

A ghost of a smile flickered in his crimson eyes. "You have a plan?"

"Yeah, fight later."

Vincent closed his eyes, catching my meaning immediately. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I put the GPS from Highwind's phone into my boots," I said. "Can you let Tseng know? And . . . and find Reno if you can. He sounds like he's hurt really badly."

Vincent inclined his head ever so slightly in assent.

I dropped off the wire, falling toward Genesis. I closed my eyes, feeling the wind against my skin. Then he had me in his arms. "Fly with me," I said.

"Sweet Cissnei," he said. "_My friend, your desire; Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess_." His lips curved into a smile. "Or maybe you are the goddess, bringer of life." He launched into the air, black wing shedding feathers at an alarming rate. Vincent shot at him, token shots meant to say _you can't just have her_.

Then we were free of the canyon. Genesis held me in his arms. And I clung to him knowing that I was not the bringer of life. I was the bringer of death. It just remained to be seen whether it would be my own death.

Or his.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen: Dreams Don't Come True**

As a general rule, Genesis was arrogant and pouty. He was also _mostly_ foolish. Still, he was trained by Shinra and Shinra dealt in secrets. So wherever he was taking me was going to be a secret. He flew us west for a while, making general conversation. I talked about flying because I'd once told him that I wanted wings to fly. I feigned amazement at his flight, but inside I wasn't impressed. I wasn't flying to freedom.

When we hit the ocean, Genesis kissed my forehead. I had a half-second warning and then he hit me with sleep. I slept. This time my dreams were vague: shadowy missions in the Midgar underground, whiskey tinged nights whispering Zack's name and pretending I'd never seen his dead body; the chill in Veld's voice during training; the sweet scent of Reno's cigarettes; and the glittering dark of Tseng's eyes. I forced my eyes open, knowing that I had to wake up eventually.

It was midmorning. Sunlight slanted through a wall-to-ceiling window overlooking an orchard of dumbapples. I was in a king-size white bed, silk sheets and sheer blankets cocooning my bare skin. The room smelled sweet, like dumbapple syrup. Someone moved to my right. I shifted, propping myself on one elbow.

I was naked. Did that mean that Genesis found and destroyed the tracking signal? Did he set a trap with it? Was the trap successful? I blinked my eyes with feigned sleepiness and tussled my hair with one hand. Most female Turks could be sexy and dangerous. I could be sexy, sweet, and harmless looking all at once. I was already planning my verbal attack on Genesis when I realized it wasn't his eyes I was staring at.

Oh sure, the eyes were infused with mako and glowed even in the sunlight. But Genesis's turquoise eyes were like pale sewer water when compared to the pure blue of Zack's. Zack stared at me, eyes a bit wide, mouth gaping. "C-cissnei," he stammered. "Uh . . . umm, you're awake. I didn't mean to be in bed – well, you were sleeping and I was afraid that Genesis would come back, so I thought I'd stay with you." He wet his lips. "I – well I –" His cheeks were tinged with pink.

My sexy grin faded into a genuine smile. "Hey," I said, voice still rough with sleep. "It's okay." I could feel a blush creeping up my neck. Zack was less than a foot away. His tongue darted from his mouth, wetting his lips again. I'd dreamed this moment. Fantasized about it. And here it was. I reached one hand out, running it a scant inch from his chest.

Zack reached for my hand, but his fingers passing through mine. He stared hard at the space where our hands didn't meet. "Damn," he said. "Sorry, that's awkward."

"I know," I said. I pulled my hand back. I tilted my head to the side. "Zack, what are you thinking about?" It wasn't what I'd planned on asking. I'd meant to ask him where I was, how I got there, what happened to my clothes, and if he knew anything else important.

Zack's eyes got a faraway look. "I was watching you sleep," he said. "I've never really been with a girl, you know. In the same bed, that is."

"Never?" I asked, surprised. I focused on watching him through my peripheral vision so that he wouldn't disappear on me.

He blushed more. "Never. I always planned on getting married before, well, before you know. Kunsel said it was stupid and oh-so-country-boyish, but I didn't care." He smiled a bit then, shy and so different than the energetic warrior that I'd fallen in love with.

Love? Yes, I suppose I did love him. I was stuck thinking through the implications of that particular emotion when Zack said "I always dreamed of this moment."

Surprised, I almost over-looked at him and made him disappear. Thankfully I didn't. "You have?"

He laughed a self-depreciating laugh. "Oh yeah, I'm a guy, aren't I?" He flopped onto his back. I ignored the way the bed didn't move beneath him. "Except in my 'dream' I would be naked too. And alive. Definitely expected this moment to happen while I was alive." He lifted one hand into the air. "I wonder what it would have been like to wake up to those green eyes."

My heart skipped a beat; my eyes are brown.

Zack twisted to look at me, oblivious. "I miss Aeris," he said, voice thick with pain. "I wanted to make her happy more than anything. I should have . . . I should have never stayed with SOLDIER. I don't know why I did. After Angeal died I should have just given my notice and walked." Tears glimmered unshed in his eyes. "I loved her. Still do." He groaned. "Oh Aeris, what the hell am I supposed to do without you?"

I flopped beside him. Her name, always on his lips. I tried not to hate her and failed for the first time. I usually let her be that thing that Zack needed to be perfectly happy, but at this moment I wanted her to be gone forever. I wished she never existed. If perfection didn't exist, Zack could have loved me, right?

Zack slammed his fist into the bed between us. The movement screamed of frustration and anger, but the bed didn't so much as twitch. Abruptly he twisted so he was facing me again. "Forget about that. It's only gonna make me crazy thinking about what will not be. Tell me about _you_ Cissnei?"

"M-me?"

"Did you have a special someone with the Turks?"

"What do you mean?"

He smiled a bit and reached out to ruffle my hair. At the last second he pulled his hand back and rolled out of bed. Standing at the side of the bed he started doing squats. "What I mean is do you have someone? Have you ever been in love, Cissnei?"

"I am," I said.

Something in my voice must have sounded wrong because he looked at me in alarm. "Not Genesis, right?"

"Not Genesis," I confirmed.

"Then who?"

"Sorry, I'm a Turk," I said. "I don't just kiss and tell." I slipped from the bed, drawing the flimsy sheets around my body. I needed a topic change. The moment was gone anyway. "I'm guessing we're in Banora."

"Yeah."

"Typical Genesis," I said. "We should have thought of this earlier."

"He took your clothes and burned them," Zack said.

I nodded, checking the room out. Someone had _thoughtfully_ laid out some lingerie for me. I debated it, but decided that being naked would be pretty much the same thing, so I didn't bother getting dressed. For a few minutes I explored the room with Zack who was looking at the floor most of the time, blushing. The room was large, open, and completely sealed. Too white and fluffy for my tastes. Oh, and littered with LOVELESS memorabilia.

Behind me I heard the sound of an electric lock releasing and then the door to the room opened. A tired looking Kunsel entered. The crooked scar above his right was ringed with a healing yellow and purple bruise and the corner of his mouth was crusted with dry blood.

"Guess you learned the hard way," I said, crossing my arms under my breasts. "Did Rude break anything?"

Kunsel opened his mouth, but before he said anything he realized I was naked. His face flushed red and he looked away. "Cissnei . . . why are you naked?"

"I'm the prisoner, Kunsel. You're the jailer. Why am I naked?"

He mumbled something and left. The door locked behind him.

"Will you follow him?" I asked Zack. Zack nodded and quickly stepped through the door. I was alone for about five minutes, then Zack stepped back through the door, eyes downcast. "What happened?" I asked.

"He got you some clothes."

The door opened and Kunsel stepped in, eyes downcast. He tossed the clothes in my general direction. I lifted the purple SOLDIER Second uniform. There were no undergarments. I donned the lingerie and then put the uniform on. It felt foreign on my skin, but it was armored cloth that was resistant to both heat and cold. And I felt better immediately. "Thanks, Kunsel," I said.

He gave me a ghost of a smile that faintly lit his blue eyes. "Yeah, well, I guess it was the least I could do. I have to talk to you."

"About what?"

"There was a boy living in Edge," he said quietly, stepping toward me. "He was my son. I think Genesis killed him."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty: Confessions **

Kunsel stood before me, trying to be the perfect SOLDIER, but I could see the tremble in his tightly pressed lips and see the tick of muscle in his cheek. I thought about him, lurking in the building beside Seventh Heaven. He said he wasn't there for Cloud. And of course, not it made sense. Denzel was his son. They had the same eyes. And now here he was telling me that he thought Genesis had killed his son.

There had to be a way to use this to my advantage, but all I could think was that if Genesis had attacked Edge and killed Denzel, then he had probably killed Cloud and maybe Lockheart. It wasn't a comforting thought. I still had things I wanted to tell Cloud.

I schooled my features into indifference. "I'm a Turk, Kunsel," I said. "Thinking someone is murdered is only half of the equation. What makes you think Denzel is dead?" I narrowed my eyes, remembering him trying to kill me. "Better question. What makes you think I'll care? Last time we met you tried to kill me when all I wanted to do was talk."

"Cissnei –"

I held up a hand, stalling him. "Hell, the last time I heard you speak, you were trying to kill Rude. You might not think that I care about my co-workers, but Turks aren't that different from SOLDIERs. Some of us actually care about each other."

Kunsel swallowed hard. He started pacing the room. Every sixth step I could catch a hint of a limp. Rude must have smashed him up pretty good in Costa Del Sol. He finally stopped pacing and turned to face me. "Cissnei . . . I'm – I have no excuse for what happened. And you don't owe me anything."

I folded my arms under my breasts. Zack was standing beside Kunsel, looking between the two of us. "Kunsel might not owe you anything, but –"

Kunsel surged forward, catching my biceps in a tight grip. "For what it's worth, I didn't kill the Turk. He's pretty spry for a guy his size." He forced a smile. "And he punches like Commander Hewley."

"So what happened?"

"I was watching a newscast when I realized that Genesis was attacking Seventh Heaven –"

"With Rude. I don't care about what Genesis was doing in Edge right now. You still haven't convinced me that I should care."

"Right. Rude." His thumbs started rubbing painful circles into my biceps. "The short version is that he got away. We didn't let him go, he kicked Rob's ass and was kicking my ass when he suddenly turned and ran. And he runs fast. He scaled a pretty sheer wall, knocked a girl off a blue chocobo and rode off into the shallows."

"You chased him?"

"Yeah, but even SOLDIER can't keep up with a chocobo for long."

"Okay," I said softly. "You can let go of me now. My bruises don't heal as quickly as yours."

He flushed and stepped back, biting his bottom lip and looking forlorn. "Cissnei. You don't owe me, but my son –"

If I were Aeris I would know what to say. I could somehow comfort him and flip him to my side. Instead of being enemies with Kunsel I could transform him into an ally. If I were Aeris. I glanced at Zack. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, gnawing on his knuckles. He wasn't going to like me for what I was going to say.

"I don't care."

Kunsel stopped talking. His mouth opened. Closed. Opened. His blue eyes blinked rapidly, like a surveillance camera capturing a thousand frames in a second.

"So what if Genesis murdered your son."

His mouth snapped shut audibly and his hand touched the hilt of his sword. "He's my son," he said, voice tight.

"And Genesis is your boss. And I'm his prisoner. And in the end your son would have died anyway. Genesis wants to destroy everything. You might think all he wants is revenge on Shinra, but you're wrong. He murdered his own parents. Your family cannot mean more than his family did. Besides, your son was with Cloud and Cloud is peripherally allied with Shinra, isn't he?"

He pulled his sword from his back, brandishing it at me. "It's not like that. Genesis –"

I grabbed the blade of his sword, careful not to slice my hands open. "Are you really going to defend Genesis right now? While you stand here telling me you think he murdered your son?" I stepped closer, sliding my hand down the sword.

Kunsel drew a shaky breath.

"If he's dead, it's your fault," I said. "It's just like with Zack. You knew what Shinra was and you let them kill him anyway. Just like I did. Just like Tseng did. We all watched Zack's star burn out. Your blame isn't any less just because I let him die too."

Kunsel squeezed his eyes shut. His grip slackened. I slammed one hand under his chin, wresting his sword from his fingers. Kunsel was almost a foot taller than me, but Rude had taught me hand-to-hand combat. I pushed his head back, positioning a leg behind his. He hit the ground hard and was suddenly faced with the business end of his own sword.

"You told me you're out for revenge," I said. "Revenge for what? Zack?"

"Kate," he said, eyes wide.

"Kate?"

"Kate Barrons."

The name was familiar. I let it bounce around my head, trying to place it. I could see Zack struggling to place her too. Then it hit me. Reno hit on her at the Goblin Bar once and she'd shot him down cold. She was a pretty little piece of fluff with brown hair and brown eyes and a shy smile. She'd been a secretary in the lobby of the Shinra building.

"I wanted to get her back," Kunsel said. "I thought that if I could get her back that we could go and get Denzel. Strife would let him go if he knew we were his parents. We'd go away – the three of us – someplace quiet and peaceful. And we'd be a family."

He reached toward the blade as he was speaking. I jerked it, cutting his hand and then placing the blade against his neck.

He dropped his hands. He was on his ass, knees propped up, hands bracing himself. He tilted his head back, exposing his throat better. "She was a secretary," he said. "I met her after Zack left for Nibelhiem and it was just like he described it."

"Described what?"

"Falling in love," he said. "One second I was just thinking about what I was going to do next and the next second I'm wondering when I'm going to see her again, I'm wondering how I can make her smile, and what I can do to make her kiss me. It was over before I had time to think about the implications."

"What implications?" I asked, resting the point of his sword in the hollow of his throat.

He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing with the motion. "You loved Zack," he said. "You know all about the complications of falling in love." He swallowed again, then opened his eyes. There was something in them, more intense than I expected. "Do the Turks teach you how to lose? How to die without honor or dignity?"

My arms were starting to feel the strain of holding the sword to his throat. Posturing only works for a couple minutes. The human body isn't designed to hold a twenty pound sword at the ready. I had to either kill him now or let him go.

I moved the sword, dropping it into an easier to hold low guard. "That's pretty much the first thing we learn," I said carefully. "Why do you ask?"

"Because in SOLDIER no one dies. Not in vain anyway." He smiled a bit, but didn't try to get up. "There's this shiny promise that if you die in SOLDIER you'll be eternally remembered. _Die a SOLDIER_ was a catchphrase during the war with Wutai. _Be the hero_."

"I remember," I said. "We laughed about it in the Turks. Our director told us that if we had to die we had best make it splashy because there would be no notoriety in our deaths. We didn't have families for the most part, and even those that did wouldn't have their families notified. As for the public, well, officially we just scouted for SOLDIER, so there was no glory to be had there either."

Kunsel nodded. "That's what we should have been told. I think too many died trying to be heroes." He sat up, drawing his knees to his chest. "To tell the truth, I never needed or even wanted to be a hero. That was Zack's thing. But somewhere between training and reality Zack's dream failed. His step got grim, his eyes harder, and only Aeris kept him sane."

I didn't say anything.

"You know, looking back, I should have seen it faster. I always prided myself on knowing everything. Kinda a gossip, you know. But Zack must have seen the truth. And it killed him. And even the great General Sephiroth died. Sephiroth got painted as the hero. Zack was simply forgotten. And I let it go. Didn't look for the signs until it was too late. While Zack was experimented on, tortured and forgotten, I got on with my life."

"We all did," I said, feeling at last a small shred of empathy with the SOLDIER.

"You said that I knew what Shinra was and that I let Zack die. And that would have been bad enough. But I didn't let myself see what Shinra was and because of that Zack died. I chose to be blind and thought I could see everything."

I closed the distance between us, touching his forearm. "Why are you here, Kunsel? Why talk to me? Is there something you think I can help you with?"

"You're Shinra," he said. "You're still wearing the yoke. When Sephiroth rose from the grave he killed the president and so many others. It shattered the colored glass I viewed things with. I . . ." He smiled weakly. "I let Cloud and his pals free because I remembered that he was once Zack's friend and because Aeris used to be Zack's girl."

"Then what?"

"I thought if Sephiroth's still around, maybe Zack is too. I started snooping around and everything was right there, Cissnei. Hojo's crimes were as bold as blood on fresh snow. There were hundreds of reports on Zack's death, his bid for freedom."

"I didn't turn mine in," I said softly.

Kunsel didn't hear me, a shuddered look crossed his features. "The Turks got wind of my investigation. One of _you_ killed Kate on Heideggar's orders." He looked up at me, his eyes confused, hurt. "She didn't do anything. How could you do that?"

I didn't tell him that it would have probably been easy. We were trained to distance ourselves from our actions. Instead I told him, "Tseng taught me not to enjoy what we do. Don't take life easily. Don't regret it, but don't enjoy it either. Make a quick kill. Don't draw it out to inflict pain." I left out the part where if the orders said draw it out we would draw it out.

He exhaled. "Let's just not talk about this anymore," he said.

"Fine, let's talk about Denzel. What makes you think he's dead?"

"Not here," he said. "I want to show you something, Cissnei. I need you to understand why I'm here."

"Because I mean so much to you?" I said, letting a touch of sarcasm in. "No, Kunsel. Let's talk about it now. We've danced around Genesis and your son for too long."

He looked at his hands. "Maybe you're right."

I didn't answer. He was ready to talk and was ordering his thoughts. Finally he said, "when I got back from Costa Del Sol, I took a shower and then thought to watch a bit of TV. There was a news report out of Edge. The footage showed Genesis attacking Seventh Heaven. He fought the bartender, stabbed her in the stomach. Denzel and a little girl – her name is Marlene – came out, screaming. They threw rocks at Genesis. He summoned Bahumet and the camera went dead. When it came back on, the entire area was leveled and I could see him lying there by the bartender, not moving."

"He could still be alive," I said. "That's hardly definite. But it makes me wonder why he attacked Seventh Heaven. Do you think he was going after Cloud?"

"He was after the harp," Kunsel said. "Cissnei, I . . . you loved Zack, right?"

I nodded my head slightly.

He hopped to his feet and started pacing again. "What if you could have him back? What would you do? What would you forgive?"

"I wouldn't forgive Hojo," I said softly. "I most certainly wouldn't forgive myself." I shrugged. "But maybe this is another SOLDIER-Turk disconnect. Because Turks aren't trained to think _what if_. We take reality as it is."

"Sephiroth came back to life."

"He was cloned."

"I know that, but what if other people could be cloned too? What if you _could_ have Zack back?"

I bit my bottom lip, mind whirling with the implications. Was Genesis cloning more people than Sephiroth? He had stolen the data files on all the SOLDIERs from the Shinra building in Midgar. Was there info in there that would allow a mass cloning to occur? And didn't all SOLDIERs have DNA on file with the Company? The location of the genetic samples would be in the stolen files, right? "Can I have Zack back?" I asked.

"Let me show you," Kunsel answered. He opened the door, motioning me to go out. "He may not be dead forever."

**Author's Note:** I just wanted to say thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. I'm sorry for the delay in updates. This chapter was hard to write for some reason. Please let me know what you think.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-one: Not-Zack**

Kunsel set a fast pace, moving through the dimly lit corridors. We started in the upper stories of a warehouse and descended a metal staircase. If I didn't know any better I would have thought that the SOLDIER was trying to lose me, but he kept pausing looking over his shoulder and then motioning for me to hurry. We passed a few of Genesis's men in the halls, but they must have assumed I was one of them because no one challenged us.

We reached a cargo elevator and Kunsel swiped his keycard over the security pad. The doors grumbled open. Inside I could see blood stains on the grated floor and smell the chemical burn of ammonia and bleach. Kunsel hit the button for the subbasement. The door closed and we started dropping slowly.

"Ask him what he means," Zack said appearing so suddenly at my elbow that I almost jumped.

"What do you mean?"

Kunsel looked at me. "I'll show you." He wouldn't say anything else.

It took ten minutes to reach the subbasement. Zack did squats the whole time and the temperature plummeted. I could see my breath. I could see Kunsel's breath. I couldn't see Zack's. The door started to open. I stepped to the side, shielding myself with the doors as long as possible. There were frosted glass doors about ten feet from the elevator and I could see a blinking red light indicating a keycard was needed again. Kunsel stepped out and swiped his card. I followed him.

Inside the frosted glass door was a laboratory. Spaced evenly throughout the room were tanks filled with pale green mako. Bodies floated in the liquid, eyes closed. It was eerie. I walked through the crop of bodies floating in mako tanks. Bodies? Corpses was maybe a better word. The hum an industrial air conditioning unit didn't help the atmosphere either. Gooseflesh puckered the skin on my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck felt electrified.

Then I saw Sephiroth. His silver hair hung like a cloud around his lithe body. He didn't look peaceful. His strong features were as cruel and heartless as always. He wasn't smirking though. His lips were slightly parted. There was no breathing apparatus in the tank. I tapped the tank with Kunsel's sword. The sound echoed dully.

Sephiroth's eyes did not open.

Kunsel was still walking, weaving between the tanks. Sephiroth never mattered to Kunsel. He once told me that Sephiroth was . . . My thoughts trailed off. The room seemed to tilt to the left as my eyes caught sight of something worse than a hundred corpses floating in mako. Somewhere to the left of Sephiroth I saw Zack. In the flesh. For the first time since I'd buried his body.

His black hair hung limp around his face, deprived of whatever it was that made Zack's hair spiky. His skin was pallid and in patches the skin was so translucent that I could see the fibers of his muscles. His eyes were partially open, but his pupils were all black with just a rim of blue along the outer edges.

Behind me I heard Zack see his body. He choked and started walking toward the tank. I could hear his boots striking the floor. "Wait," I said. "Wait." I turned, stepping in front of him. For some reason I didn't want him to see this perversion of him. Whatever the thing in the tank was, it was not Zack. Zack had been with me for months and months.

He was shaking his head, eyes transfixed on the not-Zack in the tank. He was making a noise somewhere between a whimper and a moan. Or maybe that was me. Or both of us. He walked through me. I felt a chill and gasped, spinning to follow his movements. He stopped at the glass and pressed his hand to the tank.

Not-Zack didn't twitch. My Zack's chest was rising and falling too fast. Kunsel was talking, probably explaining what the hell was going on. He looked excited and motioned beyond Zack to a pretty brunette woman in a nearby tank. I focused on my Zack again. He screamed. His body flickered. He drew his hand back, looking at his flickering flesh. Then he pushed his hand into the tank.

When he touched the flesh of not-Zack, they both convulsed. Kunsel was suddenly quiet. I froze, staring stupidly. Zack tried to pull his hand away from not-Zack. Not-Zack's hand moved with his. Zack went still. Then he turned his head to me. His eyes showed too much white. "Help?" he asked, too confused to say anything else.

Then he was gone. Not-Zack's chest rose and fell once. Then he was motionless, hanging just like every other dead thing in the tanks.

Kunsel laughed shakily. "That was weird. I've never seen them move before. But like I was saying, we're going to bring them back, Cissnei. They're all going to live again."

"H-how?"

"I don't know the science," Kunsel admitted. "Dr. Moonstone is in charge of the project. I come down here to talk to Kate and Zack a lot. I like to think that they can hear me."

"Dr. Moonstone?" I asked, numb. What the f#$% had just happened?

He pointed toward an office at the end of another line of tanks. The blinds were drawn but I could see a shimmer of light. I started toward the office. "Tell Zack that I'll be right back," I said. My voice was a bit hollow, but Kunsel nodded. He didn't seem to see how wrong this was.

I used Kunsel's sword to cut the door open. "Dr. Moonstone?"

A man looked up, blinking from a trashy Junon romance novel. He was a portly little old guy with white hair and wrinkled pale white skin. His eyes were watery and seemed fishlike because he had no lashes. "Who are you?" he squeaked. "SOLDIER doesn't have clearance for –"

"Wrong. I'm a Turk," I said.

"The Turks don't have clearance either –"

I pushed the door closed, ignoring him. There was a wooden chair with a bunch of papers precariously balanced. I knocked the papers to the floor and wedged the chair under the door handle. That would keep him from escaping even if it wouldn't stop anyone from coming to his rescue. He was simpering at me, alternating between threats and questions.

I held up three fingers, silencing him. "First," I said, ticking one finger down. "I'm with the Turks, not the fools who think they're 'Genesis's Turks.' The real Turks." I smirked. "That means I don't need any clearance."

He swallowed and clutched the romance novel closer to his chest.

"Two," I said, ticking down my second finger. "One of the bodies out there used to be a friend. I don't like what you've done with him." I stepped toward him. "And third, I already don't like you. This can and will get worse for you. But if you play nice, then maybe I will."

"What do you want?"

"Tell me the science," I said.

"That is classified –"

"Wrong answer. I am a Turk. Classified just means I have to ask for the information the right way." He talked after that. I won't detail what happened to the little old man. In the end I found out he wasn't a scientist at all. He was just an actor. He'd cast Genesis as the hero of LOVELESS in Genesis's first stage play. When Genesis had died, he'd mourned the death of a great actor. When he found out Genesis was alive and in a real-life version of LOVELESS, he'd offered to help. His offer had just cost him a clean death. I wiped the blood from my sword and used a cloth to wipe the blood splatter from my face.

The bodies outside weren't coming back to life. They were cloned bodies without souls. The people were already long gone. They were not coming back. It was just a ploy to keep people like Kunsel fighting. I moved the chair and headed back to the tank with not-Zack.

As I approached Kunsel I could hear him talking to not-Zack. His voice was quiet. He was explaining that he thought I might be able to help him rescue Kate. He didn't trust Genesis and he just wanted to get Kate and Zack away from Genesis.

"Kunsel?"

He turned, smiling a bit. "Y-you're covered in blood," he stammered.

"I had questions. He didn't want to answer."

Kunsel scowled at me. "Cissnei –"

"I'm a Turk, Kunsel. It's what I do." I tossed him his sword. "Will you listen to me?" I stepped to the tank holding Zack. "You don't want to be blind again, do you? You want to see the truth before everything goes to hell this time right?"

"What do you mean? I can see just fine."

I had a headache. "Dr. Moonstone said there is no science. Genesis can clone the bodies, but he can't bring the spirits back. It's a lie."

"Cissnei –"

"That thing isn't Zack. I'm going to . . . destroy it."

"Okay – wait, no!" Kunsel grabbed me, dropping his sword to the floor with a clatter. "You can't take that chance."

I just stared at him, willing him to believe me. For several minutes we locked eyes, him glaring and trying to convince me that Zack was coming back. My expression was tired. I needed whisky. I needed a smoke. I needed the room to stop spinning around. I needed him to not fight me. I needed him to believe.

His expression hardened. "You're just a tool," he said finally, voice harsh. "I thought you loved Zack. But you really don't have emotions, do you? You're a monster." He let go of me, stepping back. "Leave. Now. I don't want to fight you here, Cissnei, but the next time that I see you, I will kill you." He turned toward not-Zack. "I'm sorry, man. Some people aren't really people. I thought she might be different."

I turned from him, walking away. I wasn't leaving. I was getting a sword and materia. And then I was going to save Zack. There had been a sword in the office. I reached the door. My fingers were cold and I was shivering. I could see the splatter of fake doctor's blood. The lights flickered. Then I wasn't in the subbasement anymore. I was in a warm field of lilies. The scent of the flowers hung in the air like heady perfume.

There was a girl kneeling by the flowers, hands ghosting across the petals. She wore a pick dress and combat boots. As I stared, she turned, her spring green eyes meeting mine. "Oh," she said, putting one hand against her mouth. "You're not Cloud."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-two: Aeris**

As a Turk I've learned to expect just about anything. I did not expect Aeris. She stood up, her skirt rustling in the deadly quiet of the meadow. Her bangs fell into her green eyes and she brushed them away in a familiar gesture. She came toward me, head tilted to the side.

I took an involuntary step back.

"Who _are_ you?" Aeris asked, voice soft. She stopped advancing and clutched her hands in front of her chest as if she were praying.

"S-stella," I stammered.

"Stella who?"

I flushed. I'd just given her my birth name. Just like that. What the hell was wrong with me? I'd only ever told Tseng my name, and that was only because I trusted him completely. He'd earned my trust. Aeris hadn't. I'd spied on her when I was with the Turks. She'd started out some stupid, silly little girl who was afraid of the sky and giggled too much. She'd grown up to be a pretty young woman with a quick smile. The woman that Zack loved, no less.

Aeris twisted her hands, pursing her lips. She was waiting for me.

I tried to remember my last name, but it was just gone. "I'm with the Turks," I said softly. "We don't have last names. It's part of the job."

"Oh."

We stood there, silent. She watched me. I watched her. She started chewing on her thumb. I folded my arms across my stomach.

"Did you watch me?" she asked.

"Why did you think I was Cloud?" I asked at the same moment.

We both started to answer at the same time, then stopped and stared at each other again. Aeris rubbed her nose. "It doesn't matter if you watched me," she said. "I just was trying to figure out how you got here. I'm usually only able to reach Cloud. Although, sometimes I can speak to others. Like when I told the children that Cloud would be in the church. That was only words though."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She frowned. "I'm not sure I can explain. Cloud Strife . . . do you know who he is?"

I nodded.

"Well, when I was alive, I dated him."

"I heard."

"Right, well, do you know what I was?"

"Zack's girlfriend," I said, stupidly. As soon as I said it, I realized she was asking me if I knew she was an Ancient. "You were the last Ancient," I said. "Aeris Gainsborough. Sephiroth killed you after you summoned Holy."

Aeris's green eyes narrowed at me. "That's right," she said. "So, Stella."

"Just call me Cissnei," I said. "Please. I don't use that name. Just forget it."

Aeris spun away from me. "What if I don't want to?" she asked, impetuously.

I decided to ignore her, and examined my surroundings instead. The subbasement warehouse was gone. I couldn't see bodies anywhere. The bitter smell of mako was gone. The air was warm. There were no bodies floating in tanks. The lilies were everywhere. Their scent was heavy and sleep inducing. I checked myself out. I was still wearing the SOLDIER uniform. It was starting to irritate me. My throat felt naked without a tie. My arms had specks of blood splattered against it from my interrogation of Genesis's actor friend.

"Where are we?" I asked. "Am I dead?"

"No . . ."

"This isn't normal."

"I didn't realize Turks knew what 'normal' was," Aeris said. "Tseng once told me that Turks did everything but normal."

I didn't say anything.

Aeris knelt down and started tending her flowers. "Did you know Tseng?"

"I know Tseng."

"He survived then?" she said. "I haven't seen or heard anything about him since the Temple of the Ancients. He gave Cloud the Keystone."

I didn't know anything about it, so I remained silent.

Aeris picked a lily with a wilted blossom, discarding it. "I wanted him to die at the time."

I walked forward, feet avoiding the blossoms. "Ms. Gainsborough," I said. "If I'm not dead, then why am I here?" I knelt down beside her, catching her chin and turning her face toward me. "If I'm alive, then there are things that I should be doing right now."

Up close, Aeris's eyes were prettier than I thought they would be. She blinked slowly. "I'm not sure why you're here, Stella." She tried to look away.

"Cissnei," I corrected, using two fingers to keep her face directed toward me. "You expected Cloud. Why?"

"Because . . . I called him," she said. She grabbed my hand, pulling it away from her face and turning her head. "I called him because the Planet needs his help. There's a new threat. He's the only one who can stop it. Save the world."

"Does he want to?" I asked. My eyes were tired. Saving the world seemed so juvenile. In reality you couldn't save the world. You could just avert disaster for a time. Eventually if you kept putting yourself into the position of hero, you would be a martyr. If you were lucky, you'd be remembered. If you were unlucky, you'd die alone in the wastes, blood wetting the dry, greedy earth.

"Want to?" Aeris asked. "Why wouldn't he want to save the world?"

"Heroes die," I said. I caught one of the flowers, tugging until it was uprooted. The black dirt fell from the roots and the flower seemed to sag in my fist.

"That's not true."

"Bah."

Aeris seized the flower. "Let go."

My grip tightened in response. "I want to leave now." I yanked the flower away from her. The blossom snapped off, leaving her cradling it while I clutched the stem and root. I stood up. "I'm going to kill Kunsel. I'm going to destroy not-Zack. I'm going to . . ."

Aeris slapped me. I stared at her. She blushed. "Sorry."

I resisted the temptation to slap her back. I could remember that Scarlett, the Director of Weapons development, used to adore slapping women. Veld told me that – ah, forget it. I didn't feel like remembering Veld's quirky commentary on the higher ups in Shinra. Something he said did pop into my head though: always keep the mission in mind. I tried to remember my mission, and slowly it came to me. My mission was to save Reno and Rude. What the hell was I doing as Genesis's prisoner? What the hell was I doing interrogating and killing fake scientists? What the hell indeed.

"I'm working," I said. "And it's been a hard week." A hard life, really, but that was no excuse.

"Time doesn't really have meaning here," Aeris said. "You don't have to worry about that. When you go back, it'll be the same second that you left."

I nodded. "Okay. Then let's talk."

"Talk?"

"You might have information that I need," I said.

She agreed to talk. She explained why she was looking for Cloud. Apparently someone had the Black Materia and was practicing summoning Meteor. Just enough to light the sky with the dawn. She didn't know who it was, but I suspected Genesis. She didn't know who he was, but was worried. She said that she thought it was Sephiroth because he'd been the last one to have the materia. I explained that his body was in a tank in Genesis's lab. I didn't tell her about Zack because I wasn't that cruel. I told her that when I got back, I was going to leave it and find Reno.

"Does Tseng know about the lab," she asked.

"No."

"I think . . . he would want it destroyed," she said after a bit. "But then again, maybe not. He had a girl, you know. But she died. At least he thought she died."

Tseng had a girl? "Elena?"

"Maybe," Aeris said. "But I don't think so. This girl was a member of the Turks. She died around the same time that Zack did."

I wanted to ask about Tseng's dead girl, but my need to know about Zack won out. "How do you know when Zack died?"

"I felt him return to the Planet," she said. "And then Tseng told me."

That surprised me. Zack's death was confidential.

Aeris was lost in thought. "He came to the church with his hair down. Told me Zack was dead. I told him that I knew. Felt him go. He asked me a bit about it and I explained that I could sometimes sense when people returned to the Planet. Feel a bit of their life, see a few of their memories. He asked me if I'd felt a girl die."

"Did she?"

"I don't know," she said. "I tried to find her, but I wasn't able to."

Again, I wanted to pry into Tseng's private life. But once again, Zack won. I pictured him begging for help as he was drawn inside not-Zack. "Can you still feel Zack? Is he with the Planet? Safe in the Lifestream?" If he was with the Planet, then 'my ghost' was just my imagination, right?

Aeris shook her head. "He . . . he was here for a time. But I haven't been able to find him in a long time. I think he moved on."

"Could he be a ghost?"

"No. Ghosts are monsters," she said. "The train graveyard is full of them. A ghost is a lost spirit. It forgets who it is. The process happens usually with violent death. The spirit fractures and starts to spin. It loses whatever anchored it in life. After it is cut off it starts to feel trapped, impotent. Then slowly the spirit learns how to harness all of its resentment for the living. It can move things. Hurt people."

Unbidden Zack's words surfaced in my head. We'd been in the airship, heading toward Cosmo Canyon. _"When I'm around certain people everything is just clearer,"_ he had said, _"like the lines aren't blurred out. Most of the time it's like everything is tilting, spinning out of control. I'll catch snatches of conversation, images of people, monsters, places. Random smells. Then I'll see you and the room stops spinning. You catch me."_

"He is a ghost," I said. "I saw him. He said that he felt like everything was spinning."

Aeris tilted her head to the side. "Then he's out there . . ."

I bit my bottom lip. "I don't want him to be an evil ghost. Can I stop his spirit from becoming a ghost? Convince him to move on or something?"

Aeris stared at me searchingly for a long time. "No . . . no, I don't think you can. I think, Stella, that you're the reason he is still lingering. You haven't let him go." She frowned harder. "You loved him, didn't you?"

Loved? Hell no, I still loved him. "I want what is best for Zack."

"I believe you," she said. "But just wanting something isn't enough. I wanted to summon Holy and stop Sephiroth outright. I wanted to save Cloud."

"And Zack wanted to see you again," I said. "And Sephiroth wanted to destroy the world. And Kunsel wants to see his dead wife again. Want, want, want . . ." I rotated my shoulders back, feeling the tendons popping. "I feel pathetic most of the time. The rest of the time I want." I snorted. "Too stupid. I guess I'll just have to let him go. I'll figure out how to do it one way or another."

Aeris chewed on her bottom lip. "Maybe."

"Look, I got another question you might be able to answer. It's about Zack."

"Yes?"

"His body. Genesis cloned him. His body is in the subbasement lab I was telling you about. His spirit got sucked into the body. I was going to destroy it –"

Aeris got really alarmed. She stammered for several minutes. The gist of it was that if Zack stayed in his body he'd be a zombie, forever trapped in death. I promised that I wouldn't let it happen. She told me that I needed to use a phoenix down to destroy him. I promised I would.

Then, while we were both distracted, someone spoke softly. "Aeris? And Cissnei?" I looked over my shoulder. Standing against a backdrop of lilies was Cloud Strife. His hair was as spiky as always, his eyes oh-so-blue. He looked confused.

**Author's Note:** Review? Please?


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-three: Story of My Life**

Aeris brightened visibly when she saw Cloud. The corners of her mouth turned up and she gently bit her bottom lip, chin tilted down shyly. "Hullo, Cloud," she murmured. Her eyes sparkled. Her fingers trembled. "It's been too long." She walked toward him, as if drawn by an invisible string.

"I've missed you," he said reflexively, stepping toward her with even, measured steps. His heavy leather boots didn't make a sound, but I could see the power with each footfall. He wore a modified version of a SOLDIER Second uniform and had a modified Buster sword in a low slung holster on his back. He smiled faintly at her, but I couldn't help but notice it didn't quite reach his eyes. He looked lost.

Then they were a few feet apart. They didn't touch, but I could see that it took every ounce of Aeris's willpower not to melt into his embrace. She reached up, fingers ghosting along the side of his face. The moment seemed intimate, private. If I were anyone else, I might have looked away. But as it was, I just stared. Aeris gazed at Cloud as if he was her entire universe. And Cloud . . . didn't know what to do with his arms, didn't know what to say, and didn't even know how to stand.

If Aeris noticed his confusion, she didn't say anything.

Cloud bit his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth.

Aeris beamed at him.

He shifted from foot to foot.

She giggled and blushed.

"Cloud," I said, stepping forward. This was painful to watch. Sure, I didn't really know how things were between them, but I knew enough about body language to know that the two of them weren't on the same page. "What brings you here?"

He blinked at me. "Cissnei." He said my name the same way that Zack said it.

I ignored small prick of grief targeting my throat. "Yeah, it's me," I said, clearing my throat. In breathed in and out once, steadying my nerves. "Aeris was calling for you and got me by accident."

"I guess Aeris brought me here then," Cloud said. "I don't usually end up in these spirit-places unless Aeris . . . summons me?"

"I guess it is a summoning," Aeris said, catching his hand and tugging him toward her. "Funny that I got a Turk though, isn't it?"

Cloud shrugged, turning back to her. "I guess. But Aeris . . . I didn't think that I would see you again. I thought after the last time . . . that you'd gone on. With Zack."

"Don't be silly," Aeris said, giggling a bit again. "Why would I just abandon you? Someone's got to keep an eye on your spiky chocobo head." She tucked her hands behind her back, leaning forward. "How have you been, Cloud?"

"Busy, I guess," he said. He tucked one foot behind the other and rubbed the tip of his nose. "I'm trying to be better, I guess. Stay in Edge more than I stay away. It takes work."

"Staying with Tifa?" Aeris asked, a sudden cool edge to her voice. "I'll bet she likes that a lot."

"Uhmm . . . I think so," Cloud said. "She doesn't really say anything, but Marlene says she's been smiling more and Denzel says she's been humming with her work."

Aeris forced a smile and turned toward me.

I returned her smile out of habit, but my mind of spinning with the implications of Cloud and Aeris's interactions. Zack's girl had fallen in love with Cloud Strife. It wasn't just a crush of convenience like I'd thought it was. It was full blown love, separate and distinct from what she'd once felt for Zack. I felt betrayed, which must sound stupid since I'd always wanted to be the one Zack loved. And I'd thought more than once that I would stand a chance if Zack's love was unrequited instead of returned with equal passion.

Aeris was telling me that Tifa was a bartender who had been childhood friends with Cloud. And that Tifa had been the one to get Cloud pulled into AVALANCHE. "She's the one who pushed him to be a hero in the first place," Aeris added. "But she wanted him to be her hero. I always . . . knew that he could be more than that."

Cloud's cheeks were tinted with pink.

I brushed my hands through my hair. "I knew she was a bartender," I said. "My first night back with the Turks I ended up drinking at Seventh Heaven. She seemed nice enough. A little dangerous though."

"Dangerous?" Cloud asked.

"She's a fighter," I said. "And by the way she holds herself you can tell that she isn't just a casual fighter either. She trains hard so that she can fight hard when the need arises."

Cloud nodded in agreement.

Aeris tightened her grip on his hand. "I'm dangerous too," she said. "But more with magic than with just pummeling people and monsters with my fists." She leaned against Cloud, bumping him with her hip. "Right, Cloud?"

He nodded. "Yeah, you're –"

"Is Tifa alright?" I asked, interrupting him. I didn't want to waste time watching Aeris war with herself. It was clear she wanted Cloud to recognize that she was every bit as good as Tifa, if not better.

Cloud cocked his head to the side. "Why wouldn't she be?"

Judging by the confused look on Cloud's face, he didn't know about the attack on Seventh Heaven. I had been hoping that he might have been able to update me on what was happening in Edge, but if he didn't even know about the attack – Well, that was assuming he didn't know about the attack. Turks didn't rely on assumptions if they didn't have to. "Genesis attacked Seventh Heaven."

I watched his face take in the news, first confusion, then shock, then cold, hard anger. "Why would he do that?" he asked. His voice was low, dangerous. He really was a SOLDIER.

The cogs in my brain turned, trying to dredge up what Kunsel had told me about the attack. "He may have been after . . . a harp?" I frowned a bit. "Do you have a harp or something? Or maybe Tifa or the kids have one?"

"No," Cloud said immediately and then he added, "Well, maybe. There's the Lunar Harp, but that doesn't really play music or anything."

"Then what does it do?" I asked.

"It just wakes up the Sleeping Forest so you don't get lost," Aeris said. "What would this Genesis guy want with that?"

That was the million gil question. I shrugged carefully, crossing my arms. "That depends. What is the Sleeping Forest?"

"It's by Bone Village," Cloud said. "If you pass through the Forest you can get to the City of the Ancients."

"Anything significant about the City?"

Aeris and Cloud both looked away. A sudden wind swept down from the north. A cloud of loose white blossoms leapt into the air, swirling around the three of us. The cloying sweetness of the flowers also rose like a heavy mist of perfume. Then, abruptly, the light in the meadow failed. Darkness swept in like a tsunami, encasing us in the black of the tomb. Aeris spoke, voice hitched. "That's where I died."

The petals of the lilies started to glow faintly, casting shadows on the faces of the once-upon-a-time couple. Cloud's face was drawn, stricken with guilt. He drew Aeris into his arms, holding her tight. "I'm sorry," he whispered. It was the first time he initiated contact with her.

She looked up at him, green eyes glinting in the light thrown from the flower petals. "It's not your fault."

"I should have protected you better."

"Why didn't you?" I asked, quietly pushing myself into their private, guilt and death filled moment. I knew pieces of their story, but hadn't bothered learning the full thing. Genesis was the priority afterall. But maybe all the pieces were tied together. Genesis wasn't exactly stable, so anything was possible.

"I left," Aeris said. "To summon Holy." There was an emptiness to her voice. She turned her face into Cloud's chest, clinging to him as if he were her only line to life. And maybe he was. Voice muffled, she started telling him about the Black Materia. She left out my theory that Genesis was messing with it. She still thought Sephiroth was involved. I could see the skin around Cloud's eyes tighten at that thought.

I gathered enough from their exchange to make an educated guess as to what Genesis was after. I rotated my shoulders back, feeling the tendons pop, then rotated out the kinks in my neck. "Yo," I said, hailing them with Reno's favorite tagline. "I get that you're sad about dying and not saving her from dying. Trust me, I know what it's like to not save someone. I don't think that guilt will ever go away, not even if I drink enough whisky to kill the Midgar Zolom, but I think you're both forgetting something."

Cloud met my eyes, silently acknowledging that I had the floor.

"First, Sephiroth might be back, but if he is, he's not using the Black Materia. He already knows how to summon Meteor. What Aeris described was someone trying to learn the spell. That means it is probably Genesis. If he's having trouble with the spell, he can't really afford to have anyone stop the spell once it starts."

"Why would Genesis –"

"He considers himself rivals with Sephiroth. Anything Sephiroth can do, he can do better." Sephiroth failed to destroy the Planet. Genesis won't. That's his thinking. He . . . he just wants to destroy everything, I think. He's sick because of experiments Shinra did on him as a child. Physically and mentally. My guess is that he can't get through the Sleeping Forest without the Lunar Harp."

"Why would he need to go to the City of the Cetra?" Aeris asked. "That part doesn't make sense."

Actually it did make sense. "That's where you summoned Holy, right? And Holy held off Meteor until the Planet kicked in and used the Lifestream."

Aeris nodded.

"Right, so here's the question: what happened to the Holy materia?"

"It fell," Cloud said, eyes widening. "Into the pool. But we couldn't find it afterward. It is just gone."

"How hard did you look?"

Cloud looked away. "I . . . we were a bit in shock. We didn't look right away. It was more like after we beat Sephiroth, I went back on my own. I wanted something tangible that had belonged to Aeris. Something . . . to remember her by."

"So it might be gone," I said. "But that wouldn't stop Genesis from looking. And he probably already found the Black Materia. So the best way to take him out would be to beat him there." I spun around, eyes scanning the area. "I think it's time you let me leave," I said to Aeris. "I need to shut down Genesis's cloning facilities, escape his base, and call Tseng. Not necessarily in that order."

I was mentally composing the verbal report I was going to give to Tseng. The fake scientist probably had a PHS, so I could use that and update him before I destroyed not-Zack. And then – Cloud grabbed my bicep, spinning me to face him. "Cissnei," he said. "Before you go, you should know that someone attacked Shinra."

I grimaced. Tseng wouldn't be happy about the attack, but I found that I didn't really care. I was allied with Shinra only inasmuch as the Turks were. I personally didn't give a f*** what happened to the a Company that killed Zack. I shrugged, "It was probably Genesis."

"That's what I'm thinking," Cloud said. "Rufus told me that it was a target attack on one of the executive offices."

Oh good. I didn't like the executives. They were the ones who gave the orders that got Zack killed. "What happened?" I asked, more for form than anything.

"Missiles from a helicopter." His eyes flickered to the ground, then back to my face. "Rufus believes Tseng was in there and that he's gone." He paused for the space of a heartbeat. "That he's dead, I mean. Tseng is dead. That's what Rufus thinks."

Pain stabbed like needles through my skin, sinking into my wrists. I quickly locked the pain down, burying it in a little box that I could open after the mission. "That's unfortunate," I said, keeping my voice cool. "Thank you for telling me."

Cloud looked like he wanted to say something more.

I practiced basic breathing. "Have you heard anything about Reno or Rude or Elena?"

"Just Reno. He ended up in Gongagga Village. Zack's parents called and told me that they'd found a half-dead frog dragging its way toward the bar. Zack's mom thought it might be a person so they tried a maiden's kiss. He's alive, but in serious condition. They figured he was a Turk."

"I see."

The tightness in my chest loosened a little. Tseng had been rumored dead before and had pulled through. I would just have to hope that was true this time too. And at least I knew where Reno was. I inhaled slowly. Then exhaled. Breathe in, breathe out. Story of my life. Nothing good ever stayed unspoiled, but I couldn't afford to collapse like I had with Zack. At least not until I knew for sure what had happened.

I was deliberately breathing, schooling my thoughts to my mission, debating who to call with the report I'd prepared for Tseng. Rude? Or Elena? Maybe even Vincent. The field of flowers faded abruptly. I felt like I was falling forward and caught myself by stepping forward, gasping. My handiwork on the fake scientist glared at me in shades of crimson blood and pink flesh. I guess thinking time was over.

There was a case with materia on the desk. I plucked a green stone out, rubbing it between my fingers, focusing on the magic. Good, it was fire. I did like to burn things. Tseng taught me how to compartmentalize during a mission. I'd be okay. I clasped a sword that was propped against a filing cabinet. The blade was pure white and glittered like a diamond. I took a PHS from fake scientists pocket. The display told me that there was no signal in the subbasement.

Too bad. I prepared a written message to Rude, Elena, and Vincent and then hit send. The display told me that the signal failed. I programmed it to resend as soon as it had a signal. Then I wiped my prints from it and put it back in the fake scientist's pocket.

I walked back toward the tank with not-Zack. Kunsel saw me coming. His facial expression closed down. He lifted a SOLDIER Second helmet and fastened it on his head. His angry blue eyes were hidden from view. His mouth was a thin, grim line. He raised his sword and charged toward me, blade angled toward my heart.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-four: Smarter, not Stronger**

Kunsel was physically much stronger than me. That was the benefit of being a mako-enhanced man. That was one reason I usually preferred a long-range weapon. I caught his first strike while advancing. Our blades slid against each other, sparks flying. I wanted to take out his knee to limit his mobility, but Kunsel used his free hand to break my nose. My head snapped back and my eyes watered immediately. I threw a quick Fire spell at his face and danced out of his reach, blinking away tears of pain. My nose was bleeding and pretty useless for breathing.

Kunsel didn't bother blocking or avoiding my spell. He let it wash over his helmet leaving black char marks. His sword glinted in the artificial light as it swung toward me.

That was just great. If this were a training exercise, Veld and Tseng would have scolded me for using bad tactics against someone who had already tried to kill me.

I retreated, preparing a stronger Fire spell and avoiding one-on-one sword contact. I remembered Veld telling me that if I'm not the strongest I had to fight smarter. Thankfully I'd been around Reno long enough to improvise a plan in the middle of a fight I couldn't win. I stabbed my sword into a nearby tank. Brilliant mako infused water start to gush out. The body in the tank slumped forward, pulled by the flow of liquid into the glass. The skin of its face stretched grotesquely, as if it weren't properly attached to the muscles and bone below.

Kunsel hit the mako-water with booted feet, launching himself into the air and coming down with a strike that was capable of splitting me into two pieces. I dodged and hit him with Fire. I targeted my spell to his sword hand. He yowled, dropping his sword into his other hand and making an angry slash towards my knees. I evaded.

The fight continued. I ducked and dodged, moving about the entire lab. When the chance presented itself, I lashed out with sword and magic. Small cuts and burns appeared on Kunsel's purple uniform. He retaliated with stronger magic and stronger physical attacks. By the time I worked the battle back to where not-Zack was, I was bleeding freely from several cuts and was breathing heavily. Kunsel's mako-enhanced healing had closed the minor wounds I had inflicted.

That was okay. My goal wasn't to defeat him. My goal was to shut down the lab. And while we fought about the room, I punctured tanks. Almost the entire floor was covered in mako and water. It had a cloying, decayed smell because of the corpses it was preserving. I grinned at Kunsel. "You like to think, right?"

I imagined he narrowed his eyes, but I couldn't tell because of his helmet. He came toward me rapidly. I hit the tank containing Kate, his dead wife, with a decent two-handed swing. He skittered to a halt. That was a mistake. The glass was cracking in a spiderweb pattern. He came toward me again, moving faster than before. Even if I tried to dodge, I would not make it. So I hit the tank again instead and the glass shattered. The mako gushed out like a geyser. Her body tumbled out. I got the hell out of the way, counting on Kunsel's emotions to lead him to defeat.

I wasn't disappointed. He abandoned his attack that would have most likely killed or maimed me. He spun, slipping in the mako-water, dropping his sword. He caught the dead woman before she hit the floor.

"Kate!" he screamed. He frantically, cradled her body, brushing damp locks of hair from her face. I shoved my sword hilt deep between his shoulders. He stiffened, crying out in pain and shock. I yanked my sword free and he fell forward, sprawling on his dead wife. His blood soaked into her white gown, leaving a growing crimson puddle around them.

He wasn't dead yet, but I found that I didn't want to kill him. In my head I started a mental clock on how long it would take him to recover from the injury. At least eight minutes. At that point he'd either be dead, the wound overcoming his healing, or he could still make it and he'd be in for a long, bitter recovery unless he had a healing materia. I didn't need him to heal with materia. I lifted his sword, popping his materia from its slots and putting it my pants pockets. Cure, Revive, and Bolt. All mastered.

I raided his pockets next, taking everything except two potions. I swallowed two x-potions and felt much better. I strolled toward not-Zack's tank. Was it my imagination or did his eyelids tremble? I guess it didn't matter. I smashed the tank with the diamond sword and stepped back.

Not-Zack's body hit the floor with a wet thud. I stared at it. The mako gave his pale skin a sickly green color. Somewhere in the body was Zack's spirit. I closed my eyes, breathing. There was a ringing in my ears. Almost like an alarm.

I paused, cocking my head to the side. Scratch that. It _was_ an alarm. I was smashing up the lab and either I had triggered a security alarm or Kunsel had. I stopped hesitating and did what I was supposed to do. There was a single phoenix down in Kunsel's belongings. I dropped it onto not-Zack's body, half hoping that it wouldn't kill him. I fantasized for a second that his eyes would open and he would stare at me with a slightly confused expression.

But I've never been that lucky. Instead it was like I'd lit the fuse on a firecracker. His body arched, burning with furious white fire. I thought, for a second, that I could see his eyes open, his mouth open in a wordless, soundless scream. Then there was nothing left but black, wet ashes.

"Zack?" I called out. I spun around in a slow circle, hoping to see him free of the prison of not-Zack. All I saw were leaking mako tanks, dead bodies floating eerily, and sparks from control panels. "Zack?" I called again. "I-I'm sorry."

He didn't answer.

I pinched the bridge of my nose before I remembered it had been broken less than two minutes ago. Yes, I'd taken an x-potion, but it had a lot of more important things to heal. My nose wasn't broken anymore, but it still hurt like hell. Not as bad as knowing that Zack was possibly gone forever, but there would be time for heartache later.

I grabbed Kunsel's keycard. He was breathing hard, choking on his own blood and crying. I grimaced. "Sorry," I muttered. "But she wasn't coming back. It was all a Shinra lie." He didn't answer. Maybe he couldn't answer. I left him.

On my way to the elevator I stopped by the tank holding Sephiroth. Common sense said I should escape, but maybe . . . Maybe running wasn't the right strategy. There was a whole base of SOLDIERs between me and the exit. Smarter, not stronger. I had an idea.

Five minutes later I had Sephiroth's clone body dumped near Kunsel. I "killed" his already dead body. When the first guards arrived, I hurried to them, explaining quickly that Sephiroth had come to life and gone crazy again. I wasn't sure if he was dead, but I was hurt really badly.

They advanced toward not-Sephiroth. I retreated to the elevator, covered in blood and pretending it was still flowing. When I reached the elevator, I stepped in, hit the bottom for the ground floor, and then, before I let the doors close, I hit the floor of the lab with a Bolt 3 spell. Lightning and water don't mix. As the door closed, I could hear the screams of the SOLDIERs and the explosions rage throughout the laboratory.

When the elevator chimed open there was a host of SOLDIERs and emergency personal. I stumbled out, muttering that Sephiroth was alive and was killing everyone down there. Most of the SOLDIERs rushed headlong into the elevator. I relieved a few of the pins from their grenades and as the doors closed I took off running.

There was an explosion.

I kept going. Every time I ran into someone I told them that Sephiroth was raining all hell down on us. I guess the SOLDIERs didn't realize that I was a Turk in SOLDIERs clothing. I made it outside and to the helicopter pad before someone realized I was an escaping prisoner. But by then it was too late. I was airborne, flying away as an ex-Turk fired bullets at my helicopter.

**Author's Note:** I feel like this is getting a little dark. Cissnei is being a Turk in this chapter, and was supposed to kill Kunsel, but I didn't want him to die. Let me know what you think about this chapter and the direction the story is going. Review please!


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note:** This chapter replaces the old chapter twenty-five where Cissnei hooked up with Vincent and Cid and went to rescue Reno in Gongaga Village. Everything I tried to write after that chapter got to melodramatic, so I decided to try again from the point where things went askew for my muse. Hopefully y'all like this better.

As always, reviews make me happy. Hopefully someone is still reading after I've neglected updating this story in so long . . .

**Chapter Twenty-five: Liar**

No one followed me. I went home. Well, more accurately I went back to my new apartment in Edge. I arrived on the outskirts of the metropolis well after midnight and torched the stolen helicopter by puncturing the fuel tank and hitting it with a Fire spell. The orange flames lit my entry into the city, but there really wasn't anyone around to witness me slipping from shadow to shadow. The sky above was dark, roiling with clouds and no moonlight. The air smelled like the rain.

I've said it before. Edge isn't and never would be my favorite place. It was an ugly city in daylight, full of cool grey buildings, dingy windows, and neon billboards. There was normally a throng of dirty people milling about, mingling with the clean and shiny and respectable people. Tonight it was a ghost town. Except my personal ghost was gone. I was alone and I didn't like it.

By the time I arrived at my apartment building my entire body hurt from exertion and the lingering hurts from my fight with Kunsel. I pretended I was emotionally stable. I'd always been a great liar.

I paused at the security door to the apartment building, scanning the area for the telltale signs of trouble. Across the street the ruins of Seventh Heaven looked like someone had started the rebuilding process by clearing the rubble. A new foundation was already in place, along with the skeleton of the future bar. Good. That meant someone was alive to rebuild.

There were no signs of trouble. No glowing mako eyes or glinting steel blades anyway. Maybe they were just hidden by the moonlight. I shrugged off the feeling that someone was watching me, picked the lock to the security door, and slipped up the steps to my apartment.

Inside I caught the faded scent of cigarette smoke. There was an empty bottle of scotch tipped sideways on the table. It wasn't exactly like I had left it. I drew my stolen diamond sword and checked the apartment warily. No one was there. There was no alcohol either. I'd been pretty sure that I'd had a fifth of vodka in the fridge along with a half case of beer. Briefly I debated hitting a liquor store and getting wasted.

Then I caught my reflection in the bedroom mirror. My copper curls were matted to the side of my head, stiff with blood and mako. There was a dark bruise blossoming on my cheek. My borrowed SOLDIER uniform was torn, bloody, and crusted with filth. It clung to my body, plastered against my skin with sweat and blood and mako. I smelled like one of Hojo's dying science experiments. Ugh. I stripped with a grimace, discarding the clothes Kunsel had loaned me when he tried to rescue me. Underneath my clothes, the lingerie Genesis had left out for me was surprisingly unblemished, pretty white silk and lace. It contrasted disturbingly with my filthy skin and hair. I stripped out of it and made a mental note to burn the damn stuff. Then I hit the shower.

All the while my brain was whirling through plans to save myself from dropping back into the hole I'd fallen into when I'd first lost Zack. I scrubbed my skin until it was red and raw. I let shampoo seep into my eyes so I could justify my need to cry. Turks don't cry. At least not about people they killed with action or inaction. My shoulders shook with the first sob. _Stop it_, I ordered myself. I washed more vigorously and started singing a rowdy drinking son Reno taught me:

"_Dance on the tables; fall of the bar!_

_Live a little baby and take five more shots!"_

I could really use a shot right about now. I turned off the water and stood still for several minutes, listening to the water fall from the showerhead. I lingered until the droplets racing down my body turned into general dampness.

After a while I toweled myself dry and hit the closet. Several minutes later I was dressed in a fresh navy blue Turk suit, complete with freshly pressed white blouse, gun holster and gun, shuriken holster and backup shuriken, and firmly knotted tie. It felt good to be dressed again.

I stole a glance at the mirror. My reflection stared back. "I'm Cissnei of the Turks," I said, voice quiet. "I don't need a drink. I need to sleep and then I need to wake up." My reflection stared back, silent with red-rimmed eyes and clean bruises. My reflection didn't look like she believed me. Too many lies had already passed between us. I sighed and turned away from the reflection. So much for being a great liar.

I dropped into bed, fully clothed and fell into a dreamless sleep. Hours or minutes later I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and cigarettes. I shifted, muscles stiff from multiple bruises. The mattress groaned with the movement. There was a barely perceptible sound, a rustle of fabric or an intake of breath. I couldn't quite decide. What I knew was that I was not alone.

Fear laced my thoughts. I had locked the door, hadn't I? And surely I would have heard someone entering the apartment, entering my bedroom. Before the fear pushed me from bed, Tseng cleared his throat. "Good morning, Cissnei," he said. His voice was clipped and formal and oh-so-familiar. I sat up quickly, locking eyes with him. He was sitting at by bedroom desk, ankles crossed in front of him, newspaper in hand. The front page picture showed Seventh Heaven in ruins. The headline read "_The Return of Sephiroth_." Genesis wouldn't be pleased with that.

Tseng's lips twitched in a brief smile and he broke eye contact, sipping his coffee. His dark eyes moved across the page of the paper as he continued reading. I croaked "Good morning, sir," and then watched him read. Part of me was absolutely sure that he was really there. That if I got up and walked to him, I could physically touch his silky black hair. Presuming I was brave enough to touch him and brave enough to risk him not being real. He looked real enough though . . .

He glanced up, meeting my eyes and arching one eyebrow.

I flushed and my eyes watered up against my will. My tongue felt heavy, my throat too tight for words. I wanted to ask him if – or how – he was alive, but just couldn't. Against my will, tears seeped from my eyes and my shoulders shook as I tried to suppress sobs.

Tseng sighed. The paper rustled as he folded it. His chair scraped against the floor as he stood up. His shoes ghosted whisper quiet across the floor. Then the mattress dipped as he sat down on it. He drew me into his arms, one arm across my waist, the other across my chest, hand resting on my shoulder.

My breath hiccupped, catching in my chest at his surprising demonstration of affection. He was real. Solid. I could feel his firm muscles and smell the almost undetectable scent of his cologne. His body was hot against mine. He rested his chin on the top of my head. We didn't speak for what felt like forever. Then, finally, he sighed, grip tightening a little.

"Sir?" I asked, hating myself for breaking the moment.

"Yes, Cissnei?" His voice was cool, but he didn't let me go.

My tongue darted between my lips in a quick, hesitant motion. "I re-killed Zack," I said, voice almost a whimper. I tensed, waiting for his reaction.

He rubbed the front of my shoulder with one hand, leaving the other across my lap, fingers tapping against my hip. I could practically hear him thinking. Then he asked the right question, like always. "How?"

"A phoenix down."

He waited. Patient, probing gently until I told him the whole sorry affair, complete with the Aeris encounter and the rumors of his death, finishing with my violent escape from Genesis and pathetic betrayal of Kunsel.

"So we have work to do," he mused when I was finished. "I knew that Genesis had the Black Materia already. As Aeris said, if one is paying attention, one can see his attempts to summon meteor. What I didn't realize is that he knew about the Holy materia as well." His thumb started running circles over my shoulder. "His search for holy is good. It gives us some time while he searches."

"Time? How does that give us time? We're probably already too late to –"

Tseng chuckled, silencing me. "Cissnei. I am the Director of the Turks. Ask me how I'm still alive after four military grade missiles obliterated my office while I was sitting at my desk in my office doing paperwork."

"Sir?" I twisted to look up at him and he let me, loosening his hold just a little.

His dark eyes glinted with cool amusement. "Immediately after I recovered from Sephiroth's attack at the Temple of the Ancients, I went to the City of the Ancients. I went to the pool Cloud laid Aeris's body in. And I recovered her holy materia."

"So . . . you already have it, sir?"

"Oh yes," he said with a short laugh. "So Genesis is searching in vain and we have some time to plan." He smirked for a second before schooling his features back into a more professional, detached expression. "The materia has been useless since I picked it up. I can't work its magic at all. Not on purpose anyway. It activated itself just before the missiles hit." He tilted his head to the side. "You've never seen such pretty white light, Cissnei." He fell silent for a second, the continued. "Well, I suppose keeping it was useful as something more than a memento. Something more than my little piece of Aeris Gainsborough."

"You loved her?" The question was off topic, but with him holding me I felt brave and reckless.

I didn't expect him to answer, but he did. "I didn't love her like Zack did, but I did love her in my own way," he said. His hand tightened on my shoulder, fingers digging in painfully. "I had someone else to love. Why would I need Ms. Gainsborough like that?"

I gasped at the intensity of his grip, his voice. "Sir . . ."

"Ask."

My mind spit out a question before I could think about it. Tseng was an enigma. Always had been. No one knew what made him tick, what drove him to be the perfect Turk. "Elena. Do you love her?"

Tseng shifted. "Ah. Aha," he muttered. "Elena. Do I care for her?" His grip loosened and he started rubbing his thumb against my shoulder again. "That is an interesting question." He paused. "I suppose I could say that I love her, but it isn't the same. It's a learned love, if you will. She loves me. Who am I to deny her what she wants?"

"Do you have someone else you love, then?" I asked, thinking about what Aeris told me about Tseng.

He kissed the top of my head. "That's enough of that." He didn't push me away, but his posture changed, letting me know that the time for cuddling in my boss's arms had passed. I leaned closer anyway, comfortable. "Tseng, have you ever really been in love? Not a learned lover or anything like that. True love. Like with Zack and Aeris." I really should have just dropped the subject, but I wanted to know.

His body tensed. I didn't think he would answer. He exhaled, body deflating as if the question itself defeated him. "Yes, Cissnei, yes. I have loved, but not like Zack and Aeris." He paused. "It was more like you and Zack."

"It hurts."

"Yes, it does." He kissed the top of my head again. "But that is enough. No more questions on –"

"Is she dead?" I asked. I really wanted to know who she was, but I'd never dare ask that. I suspected that I knew who she was and I didn't know how I would feel if I was right.

Tseng let me go and got out bed. He took two or three steps away and then stared at me. "She was gone for so long that I suspected she did die. Felt it really." He shrugged, turning away. "But no, she's not dead at all."

My heart quickened. Me. It was me. Tseng loved me. I swore out loud. Tseng arched an eyebrow. "Something wrong?"

I scowled. "Yeah, I shouldn't be picking at this when the world's going to hell." I slipped out of bed, smoothing my dark blue suit with both hands. Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe I just needed him to be in love with me so I'd feel wanted. I clearly wasn't irresistible or else I would have caught Zack's eye, right?

Tseng smoothed his suit. "Picking at this? You're hardly picking, Cissnei. You're distracted. If the world wasn't 'going to hell' as you so eloquently put it, I would order you to Costa Del Sol for vacation."

"I haven't been there since Zack died," I said. "I don't like the sun and sand and umbrella drinks anymore. Too many bad memories." I chewed the inside of my lip. I _was_ distracted. It wasn't a good thing.

Fortunately Tseng is the epitome of focused. He drew his PHS, glancing at the display. "I'm going to make a private call. You should check on the others." He left my bedroom. I followed him.

Rude was on the sofa in my living room. His legs stuck off the end of the white couch. His neck was cranked at an uncomfortable angle, resting on the headrest. He clutched a lap blanket with rubber duckies adorning it. The blanket wasn't mine, so the only thing I could think was that he brought it with him. He was snoring softly, sunglasses conspicuously absent.

Slumped in the corner with an unlit cigarette hanging, almost ready to fall from his lips, was reno. His skin was pasty and pale, with a sickly sheen to it. But his chest rose and fell steadily. His eyes were closed, lids twitching and eyelashes fluttering as he tried to wake up. His long fingers were wrapped around a full bottle of whiskey.

"Yo, Reno," I hollered overjoyed to see him and Rude both. "Wakey-wakey!"

His eyes struggled harder to open.

"He's been sedated," Tseng said, bemused. "Let him wake up on his own."

Rude snorted, then sad up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He nodded to me. "Looks like we all made it," he said, voice slow and rumbly with sleep.

I sat down beside him on the couch and hugged him. "Yeah, looks like it."

Tseng watching us a moment, then shook his head. "Wait here. I'm going to set up a meeting with the President." He yanked open the door and stepped into the hallway. "Cissnei," he said before closing the door. "You did the right thing. Kunsel was wrong, and Zack wouldn't want to live like that." Then he was gone.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-Six: New Meetings**

Rude and I waited like good little Turks for almost an hour. Then I got hungry and discovered that the cupboards were bare. I pried the whiskey bottle from Reno's twitching fingers and poured myself a glass. My stomach wasn't overly picky. It would settle for whiskey if there was no food.

"Want some?" I asked Rude.

He ran one large hand over his bald head. "It _is_ early," he mused. "Probably shouldn't."

I shrugged. "Suit yourself." I sipped the whiskey, savoring the burn. "Any idea what's gonna happen now?" Rude shrugged, but didn't answer. His sunglasses were still absent. It was weird to see his eyes. I took another sip and then asked, "What happened to your shades?"

That got a reaction. His eyes narrowed slightly. "Broke. Fighting. Spare pair's gone too."

"Sucks."

"Yeah."

Silence descended. Reno growled in his sleep and slumped lower against the wall. Rude picked up the rubber duckie blanket and tucked it around his partner. He looked peaceful.

Outside my apartment the sounds of rebuilding suddenly filled the silence. The sharp pounding of a hammer on wood. I drifted to the window, pushing the curtain back. Across the street I could see a bulky black man wearing a green vest and a mesh shirt. He was with a tall, thin man with a dark goatee and glossy hair. Reeve Tuesti, former Director of Urban Development, current leader of the WRO. The black man turned and I realized with a start that he only had one hand. The other had been replaced with a freaking machine gun. "Hey Rude, is that Barrett Wallace?"

Rude came up behind me and looked over my head and out the window. "Yeah. Reeve too." He rested one hand on my shoulder, probably not really thinking. For a second he scanned the rebuilding effort at Seventh Heaven, hand tightening painfully.

"That hurts, you know," I said lightly.

He moved his hand without a word and headed toward the whiskey bottle. He stared at it contemplatively.

"Were you looking for Lockheart?" I asked, still watching the two men rebuilding outside. I was trying to figure out why they were rebuilding at this particular moment. Usually you waited until after the disaster had been averted before you started picking up the pieces, right?

Rude grunted something that sounded like "ynnn" and then took a large swallow of the amber liquor straight from the bottle.

I focused my attention back on him. "You hear whether she survived Genesis's attack?"

"No." He took another gulp and then coughed. Whiskey can be tricky to gulp.

"I see," I murmured. That wouldn't do at all. I let the curtain fall closed and headed for the door. Rude didn't realize what I was doing until I was gone. I took the elevator to the lobby and then headed across the street. "Hey," I hollered, waving my arm to hail Barrett and Reeve. They both turned. Barrett looked annoyed to see me. Reeve looked like he was trying to remember if he remembered me. I smiled, putting on my best innocent girl look. "I'm Cissnei," I said.

"Yer a damn Turk," Barrett snarled, face twisting into an ugly, hate-filled mask.

"Yes, sir," I said. "I am."

He took a step toward me, gun arm raising in what looked like an automatic motion. How annoying. I didn't like it when people pointed guns at me, but I guess with his history he was entitled to want to shoot me on the principle of the matter. I spread my hands in a non-threatening gesture and kept going. "There was a boy living here. His name was Denzel," I said, deciding not to ask about Lockheart right away. "His dad was worried that he got killed when Genesis attacked. He wanted me to . . . help."

Barrett frowned. Reeve stepped up beside him, pushing his gun arm down. "Cissnei . . . surely not. I had heard you were dead," he said. "Little sweet Cissnei. You were just a lost little girl. I always thought it wrong that a girl like you would be tangled up with the Turks."

I smiled again, just a bit. I hadn't interacted with Reeve that much back in the day. "I didn't die. I left the Company," I said. "Personal reasons. Can you tell me about Denzel?"

"He's alive," Reeve said. "No one died." He cocked his head to the side. "You know his dad? We all thought he was an orphan –"

"Ah, well, he might be. Is father was recently hurt very badly. It's probably best if you don't mention him to Denzel. I just promised him that I would check in on his boy." I coughed into my hand. "So the little girl and Ms. Lockheart are okay as well then?"

Reeve nodded, opening his mouth to say something else.

"She's gotta name," Barrett snapped, cutting Reeve off. "Marlene."

I nodded. "I met her before. She seems like a very nice girl. I am glad that she's alive. I'm assuming that she is not unharmed though." I locked eyes with Barrett. His eyes were dark, like black coffee. His nostrils flared. I broke eye contact first, looking down as if I could not tolerate his glare. Let him think he was the alpha male. I've said it before. I have no ego. Or at least I can pretend I don't have one.

Barrett seemed to think he'd won something. His entire body posture shifted. "Marlene and Tifa and Denzel all got hurt pretty bad, but they're gettin' the attention they need."

"Good," I said. I was surprised to realize how relieved I was. It was bad enough that I had stabbed Kunsel in the back. At least I knew his kid was okay. And Tifa was okay too. I didn't know exactly what was going on with her and Rude. Probably nothing. But I knew that nothing had been going on between me and Zack and that didn't stop the pain whenever I had heard he was off on some dangerous mission. Rude would be happy to know she was alive. It would help his focus.

I turned to leave, glancing over my shoulder at the two men. "Thank you for your help."

Reeve took a step forward. "Wait, Cissnei –"

I knew I should keep going, but I stopped, turning back. "Yes?" I was standing with my back to the street, completely in the open, but I was alert, listening and looking for danger.

Reeve frowned, obviously not sure what he wanted to say. I waited patiently, letting him gather his thoughts. While he thought I heard the roar of a motorcycle. Probably Cloud. I looked, confirming my suspicion. He pulled up in front of the construction site, pushing his black ridding glasses up. His spiky blonde hair looked wind-whipped. "Cissnei," he said, sounding surprised.

I shrugged. "I got away from Genesis's base."

Cloud swung off the bike. "That's good."

"You know her Spiky?" Barrett asked. He pushed past me, feet pounding into the ground. He stopped in front of Cloud, looking down at him. Even with the height difference, Cloud still looked more dangerous.

"We've met a couple of times," he said. "She's the one who told me about the attack here. I came as soon as I could." He thumped Barrett on the shoulder and headed past him, eyes scanning the area. "I'm surprised that you're both here rebuilding."

"No leads," Reeve said. "I haven't been able to reach you or . . . anyone else." When he said 'anyone else' he glanced at me. I interpreted the look as meaning that he hadn't been able to get in touch with anyone at Shinra. "People are panicking," he said. "They think it's Sephiroth again." He stared at Cloud hard. Barrett stared too.

Cloud shrugged. "Aeris thinks that it is Sephiroth."

Barrett snarled and let loose a string of curses that would have made a hooker blush. I was a Turk, so I just shifted a bit. Coarse language had its place, but swearing fits just wasted time. Reeve's brow was furrowed, deep worry lines looking overly prominent.

Cloud waited until Barrett stopped swearing to breathe. "Cissnei thinks it is someone new. Genesis."

Reeve's eyes widened. "The poet?"

I choked. "Poet? More like _parrot_. He just quotes LOVELESS left and right. Hardly a poet."

"You know him?" Cloud asked, directing the question to Reeve.

Reeve nodded. "I used to be a member of his fan club."

Whatever respect I might have had for Reeve dipped a little. Back then there had been scores of fanclubs for the SOLDIERs. Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth had been the most popular. It had annoyed me enough to start a fanclub for Zack. He'd seemed so much more worthy of placing on a pedestal.

Reeve was still talking about Genesis. "He was . . . very articulate and cultured. Seemed to really care about Midgar and the people. I heard that he died during the war with Wutai. Even talked to Yuffie about it once. She told me that killing him is one of her people's proudest achievements."

I suppressed an eye roll. Reeve was very high placed with Shinra. How had he missed Genesis's defection? I mean the SOLDIER First had copies of himself rampaging throughout the city when he invaded the Shinra building. And poor Yuffie Kisaragi when she found out that the proudest Wutai achievement was a Shinra lie.

"I don't remember him at all," Cloud said. He looked at me. I stared back evenly. Reeve and Barrett started looking at me as well. That made me frown. What exactly were they looking at me for? I was just low-level help. Reeve was the leader of the WRO. Cloud was the Planet's hero. And Barrett was the man that started things moving to save the Planet. Cloud crossed his arms. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"What makes you think it was Genesis?"

"Genesis who attacked here?" I asked. "That part is easy. One of his SOLDIERs told me that he attacked. The news footage apparently showed him very clearly." I tilted my head to the side. "Or do you mean what makes me sure that it is Genesis who has the Black Materia?"

Barrett took a step back. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whaddya mean 'got the Black Materia?' Ain't that shit gone?"

"Uhmm . . . no. I don't think so," I said. I bit the inside of my lip. Tseng had told me to wait inside my apartment. I was remembering that particular order a little late in the conversation. It was time for me to gracefully – or less than gracefully – back out of the conversation.

"Well," Reeve said, trying to keep a tremor out of his voice. "If Sephiroth had the Black Materia he would have summoned Meteor again, right?"

"We even sure it can be used again?" Barrett asked. "Wasn't that jes a onetime thing?"

Reeve shrugged. "I really couldn't say. Maybe Bugenhagen would have known."

I was backing away, listening, but leaving. And I backed into something solid even though my brain told me that there was nothing but open space behind me. I hadn't heard anyone approach either. Arms slipped around my waist. My heart leapt into my throat. Zack? It had to be Zack. I would have heard someone else coming. He'd just appeared behind me. He wasn't gone. I spun, heading turning up towards his face. "Zack!" I cried, relief painfully clear in my voice.

It wasn't Zack.

It was Vincent Valentine.

The weight of Zack's death crushed down around me. My knees wobbled. I felt my face fall. Felt tears rush from hiding to blur my vision. Felt my throat tighten, letting out a strangled sob. My lower lips trembled. I swayed. Everything pitched sideways.

I realized, as I was falling, as I was fainting, as Vincent Valentine reached to steady me, that I was going to faint. _Turks didn't faint_, I thought. I took a deep breath, stepping to the side quickly. My foot encountered solid ground. I pushed, moving my arms to regain my balance. Vincent's hands closed around my biceps, further steadying me.

I let out a shaky laugh. "Well, isn't that humiliating," I said, forcing cheer into my voice. "I suppose that's what I get drinking whiskey on an empty stomach." I licked my lips. Coughed. Laughed again. My voice sounded steadier. "Whew."

"Cissnei?" Vincent said, his deep solemn voice so very different than Zack's cheerful voice.

"I'm good," I lied. I met his eyes. They were so different than Zack's brilliant blue eyes. Full of darkness and death and ringed with dark, dark lashes. His skin was pale and cold. Nothing like Zack's healthy tan. He wasn't Zack. I was just careless and, apparently, still hopeful that Zack's ghost wasn't gone forever.

Vincent shook his head slightly, eyes narrowing. "Sure you are," he said. He moved abruptly like a snake uncoiling to strike. He swept me off my feet as if I were a new bride. Without a word he carried me across the street. He crouched slightly a few feet from my apartment building and then sprang straight into the air, landing on my window sill and stepping into my apartment.


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note:** This is starting to move to the end. And at this point a couple of things have become clear to me as the author of this piece. First, there will be no official 'pairing' with Cissnei and anyone else. She's still very much in love with Zack and you'll just have to wait and see how that turns out. I just wanted to put that out there. Second, I want to apologize to any readers who have been waiting for more Vincent and Cissnei interaction. After all, he is the second character listed in the story character list. Sadly, the reason for that was that originally Cissnei and Vincent were supposed to be on this journey together, but Cissnei stubbornly did not want company so Vincent did what Vincent does best - he comes and goes. So he'll be coming and going more throughout this story, but he will not have the central role that I originally envisioned.

Now that I've said that I would like to BEG for reviews :) They make me update faster and help me get a feel for where you, the readers, see this story eventually going. Trust me, every review makes this story better. Thanks for all your support!

**Chapter Twenty-seven: Forgiveness**

Rude wasn't in the apartment anymore. I was willing to bet that he had been watching from the window and saw me almost faint. He was probably outside ready to rescue me right about now. Reno was still in a drugged sleep in the corner of the living room.

I didn't like being held like a child. "Vincent –"

"I know," he said, setting me on couch and glancing around my apartment. He headed toward the kitchen metal boots clinking softly even against the carpet. How the hell had he snuck up on me in the street?

"What do you know?" I asked, standing up, following him. My world didn't sway or pitch. I was steady. I wasn't over Zack's absence, but I could function for at least a little while longer.

Vincent didn't look at me. "You don't need to be rescued," he said. "But consider me old-fashioned." My kitchen was more of a half kitchen. It was small, with stained white cupboards, a shallow refrigerator, a single sink basin, and a stove.

"I consider you a Turk."

He shrugged. He was opening and closing each of the cupboards in my kitchen. His gauntlet clicked against the fake wood of the doors. "You don't have any food," he said.

"Hence why I was drinking whisky on an empty stomach." I leaned against the counter, arms crossed. I was three feet away from him, which was the maximum distance I could manage in the tiny kitchen.

"You should take better care of yourself."

"You shouldn't sneak up on me."

He laughed at me. A low, soft chuckle. "Surprised that I could?"

Embarrassed was more like it. I tried to hide that though. He wasn't going to make me feel inferior. "No. I'm not surprised," I said. "You're a Turk."

"Ex-Turk," he said. "We had this conversation already."

"Apparently it didn't resolve anything," I said. "You only get out when you're dead."

He laughed again. Not a belly laugh. More of a self-depreciating chuckle. He touched two fingers to the red bandana across his forehead. "I'm pretty sure that I am dead, so I'm out."

Elena had told me she thought he was dead too, so maybe there was some truth to the rumors of Vincent's death. Of course, he _was_ in my apartment kitchen and except for being deathly pale, he did look alive. And unlike Zack other people could see him, touch him. I smoothed wrinkles from my navy blue suit and adjusted my tie. "What have you been doing?" I asked finally. "What happened to you after Cosmo Canyon?"

Vincent was peering into the refrigerator. The inside was spotless white. I had a bottle of ketchup, a jar of salsa, and some questionable looking vegetables, but nothing else. Evidently he didn't see anything instantly edible. He closed the door with a solid thump. "I've been studying Genesis. Talking to people that used to know him."

"Did you find anything?"

"Some." His eyes met mine, then looked away. "You called me Zack. Who was he?"

"None of your goddamn business," I said, keeping my voice sweet. Or trying to keep it sweet. I could detect a note of acid dripping from the words. "Let's talk about Genesis. Compare notes –"

"He's the one you won't let go," Vincent said, interrupting.

He was referring to Zack, but I didn't want to talk about Zack with Vincent, so I pretended he meant Genesis. "I had sex with him once. I was off duty and it seemed like a good idea at the time." I thought about the feel of Genesis's tired fingers gently caressing my naked skin and sighed. "Turns out it was a bad idea. He's crazy."

Vincent cocked his head to the side. "Interesting."

I quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

Finally Vincent said, "I was asking about Zack. Not Genesis. But you make me wonder what it is that attracts smart, talented women to lunatics?"

"Loneliness?" I offered. "Although I wouldn't say I was attracted to Genesis. He followed me home. I –"

"It was rhetorical." Vincent said. "You don't have to explain your sex life to me." I heard him wet his lips. "Tell me about Zack."

I stared at a cigarette burn on the countertop behind Vincent. "Zack's dead."

"You thought I was him."

"Yeah, well, his memory sneaks up on occasion." _Used to sneak up on occasion_. My throat tried to contract painfully, so I coughed. "It's in the past. Just forget about it. Forget him."

Vincent grunted and muttered something under his breath that I couldn't catch. He raised his hand to his throat, slipping it beneath the red fabric obscuring his mouth. He must have popped a button or loosened a strap or something because without much warning, the tattered red cloak fell to the floor with a whoosh of red satin. Without the color of his cloak he was compact darkness with a pale face.

"Well that was unexpected."

Vincent didn't respond. He had removed his golden gauntlet and set it on my green vinyl countertop and was in the process of tugging his gloves off.

"I'm not interested in whatever it is you're trying to do right now," I said. That was a complete lie. I was absolutely captivated by his bizarre behavior. He was stripping. In my kitchen. It didn't make sense. I thought back to my conversation with Elena before I had set out for Cosmo Canyon. She'd told me that Vincent was intrigued by me. But what did that mean?

"Just wait. You'll see," he said. "Maybe." He set his leather gloves beside the gold gauntlet and then pushed his fingers into his long, tangled hair. The red headband loosened. He yanked it free from his head along with a few strands of entangled dark hair. He set that on the counter and then faced me. "Look."

I leaned forward, lips parting. There was a small disk of scar tissue over his left eye. I'd seen scars like his before. Just never on someone's forehead. In fact, I had a similar scar on my right thigh. A scar from a bullet. "Holy hell," I whispered. Someone had shot him in the head. "How did you live through that?"

He brushed his thumb against the scar. "I didn't. I'm dead, remember."

"You're not dead."

He shrugged. "Dr. Lucrecia Crescent would not let me go when I died. She wanted to save me." He grimaced. "I wanted to save her. Neither of us were successful." He looked wistful and a little bit nostalgic.

I must have looked really confused, but Vincent did not offer a further explanation. He undid a few buckles on his shirt and then pulled the whole thing off, dropping it to the floor beside his cloak. His pale chest was muscular, showing all the training and conditioning of a Turk. The lean, hard muscles were decorated with neat scars. Surgically precise scars. Someone had cut him up and sewed him back together. There was a small mound of scar tissue over his heart. He touched the damaged tissue tentatively. "She did something to bring me back. Put materia in me. Infused my body with Chaos."

"Okay," I said.

For a moment he looked frustrated. He was trying to tell me something but couldn't find the words or I couldn't understand them. "She couldn't let go. Couldn't forgive herself," he said. "_But she didn't have anything to be sorry about_. I was the one that failed _her_."

I understood that. I didn't forgive myself for Zack. But it wasn't like I could bring him back to life. In fact, I had done my best to keep him from being trapped in dead flesh. So where was Vincent going?

I didn't get a chance to find out. The front door opened. Rude stood in the doorway. Without his shades I could see the complete surprise on his face at finding me with a half-naked alleged-dead Turk standing in my kitchen. Reeve pushed past him, and then stopped short, just staring. Barrett pushed his way past both of them, and kept coming until he was a couple of feet away. He stopped and stared once he noticed Vincent's state of undress. Cloud brought up the rear and his eyes widened too.

"Hi," I offered. "I can't explain what is going on."

Vincent moved until he was standing in front of me, somehow silent in his metal boots. He tilted my chin up with his knuckles. "Cissnei."

"Y-yes?"

He frowned. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips. They were thin, cracked at the corners. "It's alright to ask."

"Ask what?" Barrett demanded. "Ask why the hell ya ain't wearing clothes? Cuz I'd like ta know that meself."

"Ask what?" I said, echoing Barrett. "It's okay to ask what?"

"For forgiveness."

Vincent was blocking me from view of the others. He was close, very close. His fingers were like death touching me. His gaze was full of life though, eyes burning with intelligence and sympathy. He knew what I was going through. I looked into his eyes and I saw that he had lost everything, including his life. But somewhere along the way he had gotten forgiveness. Or given forgiveness. His personal demons had been exposed and killed. He was at peace.

I sighed, finally catching on. He thought I needed to forgive and be forgiven. "There's no one left to forgive me," I said. "He's gone now. For good this time." A memory surfaced. Me swinging vigorously as a child and my father catching me. Superimposed over the memory was a different memory. Me utilizing the Cessna summon and murdering him and all the people in my village, guilty and innocent alike. All dead. No one to forgive me. I thought of Kunsel. Probably dead. No forgiveness there either. And Zack of course. How could I forget him? I leaned forward, resting my forehead against the scar over Vincent's heart. "I don't want forgiveness anyway," I said. I made myself believe it. "I have no regrets."

Vincent wrapped his cold arms awkwardly around me. "That is a lie."

"I believe it."

At the doorway, Cloud stirred mouth opening. Out of the corner of my eye I could see his light blue mako eyes gleaming. "Cissnei –"

"I don't want to be forgiven."

Vincent shook his head, dark tangled hair falling into his crimson eyes. "Lies." His voice was darker, more guttural. For a second, I thought his eyes looked yellow and his skin thicker. Then like ripples on a calm lake he was himself again. Same eyes. Same skin. He started getting dressed.

I looked toward the others, ready to try and salvage the situation. Cloud, Reeve, Barrett, and Rude were about three feet from the door, all four watching me and Vincent with varying expressions. Cloud's face was completely closed down, like a painting of indifference, but his eyes looked thoughtful. Reeve looked perplexed. Rude looked angry with Vincent. Barrett looked confused.

I started to look away, but out of the corner of my eye I saw new movement and looked back. Tseng had gotten back from contacting the president. His hair was perfectly straight. His expression completely unreadable. His hands were clasped behind his back. Standing slightly in front of him was President Rufus Shinra.


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note:** This chapter is kinda long, but I couldn't find a good breaking point. As always, thanks for reading and remember to review.

**Chapter Twenty-eight: Rufus**

Rufus used to be an arrogant brat. I'd had the dubious pleasure of babysitting him even though he was older than me. At the time I hadn't been dressed like a Turk. I'd been disguised as a simple, pretty girl his father, the former president, had hired to escort him. I wore expensive jewelry and fine silk evening gowns complete with three inch high heels. Rufus had treated me like an arm decoration. Something you 'accidentally' forgot in the bathroom when you tried to sneak off with loose, moral-free women.

I hadn't had a chance to see him since I'd gotten back, but I recognized him immediately. He had light blonde hair, carefully styled to accent his perfectly tanned skin and aristocratic features. His eyes were as blue as a spring day and as cold as ice. They swept the room, taking in the people that were publicly credited with "stopping" the Company. His sensuous lips twisted into a sneer. Then he saw me and the sneer morphed into a heart-stopping smile. "Well, well, well," he said, strolling into my apartment like he owned it. He rested one hand on his hip. "Tseng said that he hired to new Turk. I didn't realize that it would be you, Kira."

Tseng's eyes narrowed at me. He must have not known about the babysitting Veld used to assign me to. Which meant he was probably caught in a lie to the president. I started to come up with something to salvage the situation, but Tseng was faster. He stepped forward. "An old codename," he said. "She goes by Cissnei these days."

"Cissnei," Rufus said. "How long have you been a Turk?"

I hesitated, not sure what Tseng would want me to say. I was good at reading him when he let me, but I was rusty and I wasn't sure if Tseng even knew what he wanted to say. Of course, Rude was alert, and he came to my rescue by strolling noticeably to the door, peering both ways in the hall and then closing the door firmly. "I swept the living room for bugs," he said.

Vincent was tugging on his gauntlet. He flexed his hand, letting the sharp metal tips grate together. Without a word he headed into the living room. Reeve gave a nervous chuckle. "I didn't realize that you would be here, Mr. Shinra," he said, unknowingly diverting Rufus's attention further. "In case your PHS is busted I would like to point out that I've been trying to call you for about fourteen hours now."

Rufus narrowed his eyes at Reeve. "My PHS is not _busted_." He moved forward, eyes sweeping across Barrett. The large black man was tensed, muscles practically twitching with barely contained energy. Rufus flashed his most perfect screw-you smile at Barrett, baiting him.

Barrett growled, rubbing his gun arm lovingly. Cloud touched his good arm. "Easy, Barrett."

"Yea, yea," Barrett grumbled. "What's he gotta come 'round here fer though? It's his damn fault Marlene got hurt."

Rufus feigned surprise, but underneath his wide-eyed look I detected irritation. "Marlene got hurt? Ooohhh. I hope you weren't hurt protecting your little adopted brat." His expression shifted from mock surprise to open scorn. "Oh, that's right, Tifa Lockheart does all the actual caring for _your_ daughter. She's the one who almost got eviscerated protecting her."

Barrett snarled and the gun snapped up and started whirling, preparing to fire. I reacted instantly. My shuriken snapped into my hand. I had Stop materia slotted, but status magic has never been my forte. Instead of the spell I brought my shuriken down on his arm, lodging in the barrel. The gun he had was a revolver-type weapon and if the barrel didn't move, the bullets wouldn't spit out at the president.

Even as I stopped him, Tseng smoothly moved in front of Rufus and Rude cast Barrier on Rufus. Cloud swore. "C'mon Barrett," he pleaded. "We have to get the guy that hurt Marlene. Rufus can help with that."

Barrett scowled. "Yea," he grumbled, but he didn't like it. He lowered his gun arm. My shuriken went down with his arm. He shot me a dark, hate-filled look and shook his arm, dislodging the weapon. "I'll be good," he said. "But he better watch his damn smug mouth or I might not be good fer long." He stomped into the living room and I heard him fling himself onto the couch.

Reeve chuckled again. "Well, this is lovely," he muttered. "Mr. Shinra what do you –"

Rufus looked amused. He always had liked pushing buttons. Some things never changed.

Cloud stepped forward, his hands far enough from his low-slung buster sword that I couldn't justify keeping my weapon out. I folded it back into its holster while Cloud attempted to stare down Rufus. To my surprise, Rufus looked away first with an expression like he had just swallowed a bug. "I was anticipating discussing our plans privately," Rufus said. "But I intended to enlist you and your . . . friends eventually, so we might as well talk in the living room." He strolled forward.

"Cissnei, Rude," Tseng said. Rude fell into step just behind and to the left of Rufus. I fell into place just ahead of him. The three of us entered the living room together. Just like old times. Except we were supposed part and parcel of a less casually violent Shinra, Inc. I wondered what the leader of new-Shinra had to tell us all.

My apartment was meant for small social gatherings. There was the three-seater couch Rude had been sleeping on and a single grey armchair. Rufus sat in the armchair like it was a throne. He leaned back, fingertips pressed together. Rude and I stood on either side of him, automatically assuming the role of bodyguards. Reno was in the corner, rubber duckie blanket tucked around him, unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. He looked just about comatose, but I knew him well enough to know that he was faking unconsciousness at the moment.

Vincent was leaning against the wall beside the couch, arms folded. Barrett took up sixty percent of the seating on the couch. Reeve sat down beside him, moving uncomfortably close so that there would be room for Cloud and Tseng. Cloud sat, but Tseng remained in the doorway, surveying the room.

Once everyone was settled, Rufus lazily brushed a lock of blonde hair away from his eyes. "I suppose I could ask you if you know anything," he drawled, "But why bother. I already have all the pertinent details."

"We're listening," Reeve said, quickly. He'd been with Shinra long enough to know how to keep an impromptu meeting running when the attendees openly disliked or distrusted each other.

"When Deepground attacked I offered to help clean up the mess. Send my people in and make sure it was done right," Rufus said, eyes flickering to Tseng and then back to Reeve. "But you insisted that we stay out of it. Let the people of the Planet get on without Shinra for a change," he said. He gave a small shrug. "So I stayed out of it."

"We handled Deepground," Cloud said, voice low, but hesitant.

"Right. You handled Deepground like you handled Sephiroth and Kadaj," Rufus said. "Barged in, swung your sword around, blew some buildings up. Fought and killed some so-called bad guys. Patted yourselves on the back and went home without a backward glance."

Barrett tried to bounce off the couch and shout something at the same time. Reeve threw his arm across his friend's waist at just the right second to keep him from surging to his feet. "We handled Deepground properly," the WRO leader said. But there was doubt in his voice.

"Tseng," Rufus said, rolling his head to look at my boss. "Did they handle Deepground properly?"

Tseng's dark eyes were cold. "No."

Rufus looked back at Reeve. "You left entire levels of Deepground unexplored. You left a lot of bitter, bitter human experiments in darkness without the Tsviets to control them."

"The SOLDIERs with Genesis," Vincent said.

"Genesis himself," Rufus said.

"I don't get it," Cloud said. "Who exactly is this Genesis?"

"A lunatic," I said before I could stop myself. "Sephiroth's best friend and rival."

"Sephiroth didn't have friends," Cloud said.

"Please, Cloud, your brain was regrettably scrambled," Rufus said. "Let's defer to the people with clear memories, okay?"

Cloud scowled.

"Tseng, tell them about Genesis," Rufus said, leaning back further in his chair. He always was good at delegation.

"Genesis Rhapsodes was the SOLDIER First Class tasked with defeating the Wutai ninjas. Near the end of the war he defected taking a large number of SOLDIERs with him. SOLDIER Third Class Zack Fair and General Sephiroth were dispatched to finish his mission. In Wutai they discovered warriors that looked exactly like Genesis and even had some of his abilities."

"Clones?" Cloud asked.

"Copies."

"What's the difference?" That was Reeve. I still couldn't believe that he hadn't figured out Genesis wasn't dead just because Shinra had put out a bulletin saying he was dead. Shinra lied as easily as most people breathed.

Tseng did not smile. "Genesis was part of Project G. It involved injecting Jenova cells into his body while he was still in his mother's womb. As a result of the genetic modification, he could copy his DNA onto another living being, giving that person his genetic signature – his looks and his skills – and also his disease."

"Disease?" Reeve said. "What kind of a disease?"

"It is called Degradation," Tseng said. "It is a lot like Geostigma actually. Initially I assumed that Geostigma was just another word for Degredation, but there were differences." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "Genesis's cells broke down at an alarming rate. Within two years he aged sixty years. His wounds wouldn't heal, even with his SOLDIER enhancements. His skin was dry, cracking. Lips bleeding. But the Jenova cells in his body didn't let him die. He dropped out of sight after Nibelhiem, although there were a few spotting a couple of months before you blew the Sector Five Reactor."

"Zack defeated him in Banora, sir," I said. "He got picked up by Deepground after that."

"So we missed him," Vincent said. "When we defeated Deepground, we missed him and his SOLDIERs."

"Exactly," Rufus said. "Genesis was healed. He went into the world and found that he was forgotten and Sephiroth was damn near immortalized. He . . . didn't take it well. I'm told he was something of an egomaniac."

Tseng adjusted his tie. "He was cloning dead SOLDIERs and civilians at a facility in Banora. Cissnei inflicted heavy damage on the facility, but my sources tell me that it is still semi-functional."

I felt a surge of hope that Kunsel was still alive, but quickly suppressed it. If Kunsel was alive, there was a good chance he wanted me dead and we'd just have to fight again. I'd rather if he was just dead. It was easier to deal with.

Tseng was still talking. "The facility is only one part of the problem. The real threat is Genesis himself. His followers are a mixed bunch. Some want nothing more than to recover what they lost when they were taken to Deepground: family, friends, honor, whatever it was that they lost. Others want to kill and destroy. They can cause trouble, but not on a Planet-threatening scale."

"What does Genesis want?" Barrett grumbled. "World domination?"

"World destruction," Rufus said. "He wants to succeed in the only area Sephiroth ever failed. Destroying the Planet." He leaned forward as he spoke, eyes gleaming. "And he's already got the Black Materia because someone – " He looked firmly at Cloud, Vincent, Barrett, and Reeve and then back to Cloud – left it in the Northern Crater and then refused to let me go and look for it."

"We all agreed that it was better left forgotten," Cloud said.

"Yes, well, someone forgot to tell Genesis what we all agreed while he was living in a Regeneration Bubble," Rufus said snidely. "He's got the materia and he's been trying to summon Meteor."

"I know that," Cloud said. Aeris had told him the same time she told me. However, judging by the expressions on his friends' faces he hadn't shared that particular bit of bad news. The room erupted into several heated arguments. Rufus sat back looking smug and superior. He'd jammed everyone's buttons nearly simultaneously.

"We know where he is," Tseng said, raising his voice just loud enough to catch everyone's attention. Tseng abhorred disorder during a briefing.

Barrett launched off the couch. "Well then what the #% are we doing here?" he snapped. "Someone get Cid on the horn and let's go take care of this new Shinra bastard." He locked his dark, angry eyes on Rufus. "Seems every few goddamn months we gotta clean up another of your toxic messes. Wasn't enough that ye sucked the lifeblood from the Planet, but ye had ta go 'bout making psychotic freaks as well."

He had a point.

Rufus's jaw tightened. From where I was standing I could see a muscle jumping in his cheek. "Mr. Wallace –"

Barrett jumped up and down, shaking his head vigorously. "Don't you start takin' no patronizing tone with me, boy," he snapped. "How many more these freaks we gotta deal with, huh? Sephiroth? Deepground. Weiss. Rosso. Genesis. Who else? Not ta mention Geostigma and Kadaj –"

Rufus launched to his feet, all pretenses of being a calm suddenly gone. "Just throw everything at Shinra, why don't you."

"That's what I'm doin!" Barrett hollered. "If it weren't fer yeh –"

"Sephiroth would have destroyed the Planet," Rufus said coldly. "In case you forgot, it was the _Sister Ray_ that pierced the shielding around the Northern Crater. Now as much as you dislike my company, _I_ _am_ making amends. I'm doing the so-called 'right thing' and working to clean up all the messes that my father's company had a hand in creating. But I am not wholly responsible for the mess. I didn't greenlight the experiments with Sephiroth and Genesis. I wasn't even born when that started. I didn't even know about Deepground until the attack on Kalm. And I am doing everything in my power to make things right."

"We know that," Reeve said, clearing his throat. "And now isn't the time for fighting amongst ourselves. If we're going to stop Genesis, we should probably leave now." He glanced at Cloud for support. "I say that we call Cid and have him pick us up and fly us to the City of the Ancients right away. We'll fight Genesis. Cloud can take him, right, Cloud?"

Cloud glanced at me. "You told me that he wasn't as good as Sephiroth, right?"

I gave a tight nod. It wasn't my place to talk at this meeting, and I'd already broken protocol a couple of times.

"Then yeah, I can probably take him."

Rufus still looked riled up at Barrett, but he seemed to be catching his temper and hiding it behind his cool façade again. "All the same, I'm not leaving his solely up to you and your friends this time," he said. "I want the Black Materia accounted for after the battle. We can't just leave it out there for the next crazy mako-infused lunatic to seize."

That set Barrett off again. He started ranting about who should have the Black Materia. He didn't trust Rufus with it. That much was clear. Rufus retorted that he didn't trust AVALANCHE with it considering that Cloud had handed it over willingly to Sephiroth once before. Within minutes the two of them were in a full blown argument again. Barrett was loud, abrasive. Rufus was cold and merciless. Both of them resorted to name calling.

Reeve called Cid during the argument. Cloud kept close to Barrett. I think he was planning on stopping the larger man if he got too mad and tried something stupid against the president.

Vincent walked toward me.

"I'm working," I said, keeping my eyes on the argument between the man that was technically my boss and Barrett.

"What did you do to Zack?" he asked.

"The first time? Nothing," I said softly. "I just watched."

Vincent made a noise. Surprise, maybe. "That's what I did too."

"You got shot in the head," I said. "I literally did nothing." I didn't count letting him go on the beach or in Gongaga. If I'd really wanted to, I could have saved his life by acting as a courier between him and Aeris. Gotten him into hiding someplace safe and brought Aeris to him.

"Yeah. I did get shot in the head," Vincent murmured. "That was after Lucrecia was married to Hojo and got pregnant. After that it was too late for me to save her."

I almost laughed at that little bit of irony. Instead I snorted. "At least they didn't love each other." I didn't know if Lucrecia loved Hojo, but I knew Hojo didn't love anything, so at least he didn't have to watch someone he loved leave him for someone she loved.

"I loved her. She . . . loved me too."

Ouch. I looked away from the argument between Barrett and Rufus, silently praying that my moment of inattentiveness wouldn't get the president shot. "At least you loved and were loved back then," I said. "That's more than I got."

Vincent shrugged, but didn't say anything. He looked frustrated. Finally he said, "I don't know how to help you."

Is that what he was trying to do? Help me? I patted his arm. "Thanks for trying, but I don't know why you want to help me anyway."

"Me either," he said. He paused and then continued. "My best friend growing up got married to his childhood sweetheart," he said.

"That's random and off-topic."

Vincent continued. "After he got married he kept pestering me to find a girlfriend. Get out a bit more. Date. He was happy and thought the only way I would be happy is if I was married to someone." He frowned. "I think I may be my channeling my old friend."

"You want me to get married?"

"I have been where you are," he said. "I have seen Lucrecia in my waking dreams. Smelled her perfume. Heard her voice. I have regretted what I did not do for so long. And now . . ." He shrugged. "I am relearning how to live. I want you to have that."

"Ah. Aha," I said. Tseng had intervened in the argument with Barrett and Rufus. I watched him back Barrett into a proverbial corner with nothing but words and cold looks. "I think I get now. You want to save me from myself."

Vincent nodded.

I risked looking away from Rufus and met his eyes. "The problem is I don't want to get married. I don't want to be saved. I don't want happily ever after. So please. Keep your newfound happiness to yourself. Let me be broken. It's easier."

Vincent turned away without a word. After a second he made his way to the window and dropped out of sight. Moments later I heard the roar of the _Shera_'s engines. It seemed Highwind was closer than expected. The light coming through the window darkened as the ship blocked the sun. Reeve stuck himself halfway out of the window and started waving his arm. Seconds later a rope ladder fell in front of the window. "Shall we go and stop Genesis?" he asked, directing his attention to the room. He sounded relieved to get out of my apartment.

"Yeah," Cloud said. "C'mon Barrett. Let's go."

Barrett stopped cursing at Rufus and flipped him off with his good hand. He stomped to the window, climbed onto the windowsill and then started to climb the ladder. Reeve followed him out, the blue fabric of his tunic ruffling in the wind. Cloud hesitated a second, glancing around the room, then he too left.

"Reno," Tseng said. "Go."

Reno's eyes snapped open and he sifted the unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. "Sure thing, boss," he said. He unfurled from the floor, drawing a lighter from his pocket. He snapped it open and a flame sprang to life. He held the cigarette to the flame and inhaled. The end of the cigarette flared bright red. He exhaled, tipping his head slightly towards Rufus. He blew me a kiss. Then he was gone, scrambling up the ladder and out of sight.

Tseng hesitated for a second. Then said, "Rude, Cissnei, take the President to the Healin Lodge."

Neither of us protested. Tseng ascended the ladder. Moments later the shadow of the _Shera_ was gone.


End file.
